Playing “Post Office” in broad daylight on a Sunday morning


There was a time when every kid over the age of 14 or so knew the few rules governing how “Post Office” was played. It was never played alone; that is, it was a party game. It was a game played in dim light, if not in the dark – and certainly not out in the sunshine. No one, as nearly as I can recall, ever played “Post Office” outdoors on a Sunday morning.

Leave it to an old Redneck to figure out how to do things that no one else would ever do.

Preliminary instructions

My boss (wife of these several years) rousted me from a state of gentle contemplation on this Sunday morning with fairly clear cut instructions to get some air in my lungs and some blood pumping around and “take this list and get what it says on the list from the store - and no candy bars or boxes containing oddball vittles, either.

What's a guy gonna do?

More instructions

So it was into the old red pickemup truck and off to the H-E-B Pantry Store over in Bellaire. Ringing in my left ear were the instructions from the younger of my daughters (now pretty much an old lady and very bossy) to buy some Hostess Twinkies – all I can carry. She wants to join the crazies on eBay who are selling the things for three bucks apiece. The vibrations in my right ear were again from the boss of this house. She repeated her earlier instructions and warned me to not dilly-dally along the way.

What they don't know won't hurt me

Little did either of them know that it was my intention to play a round or two of “Post Office” prior to hitting the market place for list fulfillment.


Sony Mavica-91 camera in its carrying case. To the right is a camera holder that can clamp onto a tabletop. To the left are batteries, battery charger, and a set of 3.5-inch floppy disks
Sony Mavica-91 camera in its carrying case. To the right is a camera holder that can clamp onto a tabletop. To the left are batteries, battery charger, and a set of 3.5-inch floppy disks
A standard "high-density" 3.5-inch diskette of the type that is used with the Mavica-91camera
A standard "high-density" 3.5-inch diskette of the type that is used with the Mavica-91camera
Post office view #1
Post office view #1
Post office view #2
Post office view #2
Post office view #3
Post office view #3


New rules for the game

Sunday morning, you see, is an ideal time during which to play “Post Office” - at least to play it the way this old Redneck plays the game. Bellaire, as well, is a place that is doggone nearly perfect for a session of “Post Office.” Being afraid of trying to play the game in the dark – and by myself at that – the bright daylight was OK with me, if not the perfect time for a round or more. Sunday morning was also a great choice, in that there would be few people out and about. The game of “Post Office” is one that benefits from the least number of outside kibitzers.

The straight scoop (finally)

By now most of you HubPages denizens have figured out that I am pulling your legs. That gets tiring for me, too, and so I will exert myself back into seriousness as best I can. I should probably admit that it is very difficult for me to do that, but I will try.

Why Sunday?

To play “Post Office my way, I wanted lots of bright sunshine and lots of onlookers and by passers to be missing from the scene. I wanted to make some broad daylight panoramic photos of the little post office building in Bellaire when no one but Gus The Redneck was there. I had tried to work out a photo session one time before, but there were people and cars coursing around the parking lot in front of the Post Office building seemingly at all hours of the mornings on weekdays and on Saturdays. Sunday seemed like it might be a better day for making pictures of the place. There were a few people coming and leaving Sunday morning, but they came and went one or two at a time randomly and with a minute or more in between.

Other purposes for the photo-making session

I wanted to see if my recent camera acquisition, an old Sony-brand “Mavica 91” digital camera would produce panoramic photos for me that might be comparable to or better than those I had been able to produce using my little digital Canon camera. Also, now that I had a sturdy tripod on which to mount a camera, it was also to become part of the test session.

When I reached the parking lot in front of the post office building, there were several parked vehicles. As I was setting up the tripod and fastening the heavy camera onto it, the car left and then the truck moved out, too. The sun was behind me as I faced the building. A car came along, and then it left. My game plan was functioning as I had imagined it might.

1-2-3 with a click-click-click

The Mavica-91 has a lens turret on which there is a selector switch allowing the user to choose between telephoto and wide angle lens settings. I selected the wide angle deal after looking through the viewfinder some. It looked as though I could record three views of the building that encompassed its whole length plus a little extra on each side. Had I chosen the telephoto setting, more individual views would have been required.

Starting at the farthest point on my left, I recorded the first of the three images. The shutter clicked meaningfully and then the camera whirred nicely as the image was transferred from the solid state gadget that initially records the digital image (pixels) and produces a JPEG image on the 3.5-inch standard floppy disk that I had earlier stuck into its slot in the camera.

Turning the camera to my right to view the middle third of the building, I repeated the image-capturing steps. After that, the final third of the building was viewed and made its way as an image onto the floppy disk.

Producing the panoramic photograph

Making good use of Serif's “Panorama Plus” introductory software, I entered the three views of the post office into the program. Once the three images had been accepted by the software system, I hit the stitch-em button and it produced the panoramic photograph for me. I could have used any one of the many photo-editing programs to crop the panorama to get rid of any unwanted edges, but I chose to use one that you, I, and the Pope in Rome are free to use. It is called “picmonkey” and it seems to work quickly and with a minimum of instruction. That is particularly good for Rednecks like me.


The three views stitched together resulted in the production of the single panoramic photograph
The three views stitched together resulted in the production of the single panoramic photograph


Now you know how old Rednecks play the game of “Post Office"

The moral of the story is that you, too, might have some fun playing “Post Office” despite your various bosses and sub-bosses bossing you around on an otherwise gentle Sunday morning. My crew here did not know what all I had brought back from the market with me – like some nifty photos. I had distracted them all with my buying of – not Hostess Twinkies – but two packages of H-E-B Pantry Foods peanut butter cookies plus two more packages of their “Swiss Chocolate Coated Cakes” ( 8 to a box ! ) They had suspected all along that I would pull a stunt like that, and so they never caught on that I had made my little side trip to play “Post Office” in the bright light of Sunday morning right out there in public view in front of the Bellaire post office.


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Comments 17 comments

Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

OMG!! ~~ Gus, you are truly a gifted writer, great photographer and talented techie.

I hope the ladies appreciated the boxed treats that you so graciously brought home to them.

I'm not familiar with H-E-B. It must be either a grocery chain, or a convenience chain in your area?

Tee, hee. Adorable Hub. Thanks for the guffaws --- not to mention the chuckles, smiles, etc.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

Huntgoddess - I always get embarrased when anyone (like you) tells the truth about me. ;-)

My big boss will eat all of the treats within a few days - except for the ones I stashed away out of sight, once they had seen the boxes. H-E-B is supposed to be the largest privately owned corporation in Texas. they have hundreds of super-market size places and tons of smaller "pantry" food stores - like miniature super-markets. They are in Texas, some nearby states, Florida, and Mexico. they are definitely not one of the stop-and-steal kind of corner shops. Glad you enjoyed the piece and the photos. This is a fun undertaking - thus no work at all and requiring zero talent of the serious variety.

thanks and have fun !

Gus :-)))


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

You are a debbil, Gus, but your Sunday mission was successful and the panoramic photo is outstanding. Way to go, m'dear. So sorry the Twinkies were gone. How about the, you'll pardon the expression, Ho-Ho's?


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

Good Doctor bj - I am going to say this - and I mean no disrespect nor any bullying or the like - how is it that when I mention food, here comes my buddy, the Good doctor bj? Just asking !

The cake locusts have cleaned out all of the store shelves, worldwide, and have all buzzed off to peddle the things on eBay. I had heard of that and so I went to look. It is astonishing. If you have not already done so, go take a look. It is a psychological treasure trove.

Now for some good news - I have a big bunch of recipes purported to be good for making Twinkies at home. The recipes are all much alike, but the deal is so simple. Making the filling such that it will not spoil and grow nasty stuff could be a problem, one that Hostess evidently solved, but the cake is a no sweat deal. Were I lonesome for lots of extra pain I'd likely give Twinkie cooking a whirl. I read some interesting stuff about the demise of the company and that of its several predecessor companies. The claim is made that the companies have gone under before, with successors picking up the pieces, in their attempts to rid themselves of union financial obligations and union presence. It was an interesting writeup.

Turkey Day is coming along, Good Friend, so you enjoy it as best you can. One of my neighbors (don't yet know which one) just installed a rooster in their yard. Doggone thing got me out of bed at 5 this morning. Hope they roast it for their T-Day dinner.

Gus :-)))


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

Cute story! Being new to your site, I was still able to guess that you were pulling my leg. I just didn't know which way it was going! I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Randi (btrbell) - Someone pulled that sort of thing on me, or should I say, they pulled my leg. A big problem resulted. Now, when i want to get to the top of something, I have to walk around and around whatever it is to get there - like some sort of side-hill goat with the below-leg longer than the top one. At least I can stay upright that way. :-;

Gus :-)))


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

LOL, thanks, Gus :-)

Well, the boss is a little slow. I'd have demolished those within HOURS --- maybe even minutes!! (At least on some good days.)

Thanks for the info about H-E-B. I've never heard of that before. Interesting!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

Hello again, Huntgoddess - I had two of the chocolate-covered Swiss roll things, sneaked in for pre-breakfast. got 'em before the boss's little dog even knew what i was up to. Doggone good stuff, too. What I like about them is that they don't cost much even after they raised the price from a buck to a buck and a quarter a box. Here's a pretty good link to some stuff about H-E-B. Kinda brings a person back to earlier days, even with the new stuff going on there...

The link:- http://hub.me/a8TgD

(“You can’t spell Texas without H-E-B” - A Supermarket song by Jack Ingram")


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

Yes, I love those delicious little chocolate rolls, and they are very reasonably priced. Thanks for the link and info. I'm checking out that song, too.

My ex-husband is from Texas, and may have been lurking somewhere around there for the past thirty years since we've divorced, but I have not heard from him since 2004. No clue if he's still among the living or not --- so, if you run into him, let me know, ok?

LOL :-)


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

HG - Tie a couple of those Swiss roll things to a string and set them out. If he's around, he'll surely grab on. :-)

Gus :-)))


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

HG - The original link to the Jack Ingram song dropped out some time back, so I removed it from that HubPages piece. However, I found another link to that great big SuperBowl advertisement song. the link is: www.vimeo.com/38748741

The song production runs some faster than my computer can pick it up without breakup. I found that i can "push" the video timeline backwards enough to allow the song to proceed without interruption.

I like the video with the song because it shows lots of Texas scenes while the music plays.

Gus :-)))


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

Yes, I'm checking that out as soon as I get to a computer with audio and video. Thanks for the link.


PADDYBOY60 profile image

PADDYBOY60 3 years ago from Centreville Michigan

I eat too much of that extra stuff myself. Got on the scales today. Big mistake! Anyhow great picture Gus.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

Patrick (Paddyboy) - Scales never lie. Rednecks? That's quite another tale. Glad you enjoyed the pictures.

Gus :-)))


kj force profile image

kj force 3 years ago from Florida

GusTheRedneck...leave it to you ole' porch laying in the warm morning sun dog...ahh a twinkie, heard about them never ate one ..but did put one in a time capsule as a kid back in 1954, along with a Flash Gordon ring and 1 Archie/Veronica comic book..

Loved your " pano pics"...enjoy your time with the turkey..


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 3 years ago from USA Author

Good Morning, KJ (kj force) -

Twinkie, Twinkie,

little flour,

how we wonder

what you ow'er...

Bet you that the one you time-capsuled in '54 could kill a person if you hit them with it on their head.

As to those pano pics, they are lots of fun to produce, but I am just now learning a little bit about them. Problem - There is some mathematics involved in figuring out how big the prints from them can be made - like 10" tall and 20" long. I stink at math. I am trying to train my shutter finger in the abacus of it all because the brain won't handle the stress.

Back to the porch...

Gus :-)))


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

I tried to respond to your comment about the Swiss rolls on a string. I was on a very old, wood-burning computer yesterday. Lots of tech issues.

I meant to say: It would be like fly-tying, right? :-)

Yes, I think I'll try that.

Thanks.

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