Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer were riding together in a car when the car started running funny. They got out and started trying to troubleshoot what was wrong. The mechanical engineer said, "There must be trouble with the transmission, check the oil level." The electrical engineer said, "There must be a problem with the battery, check the terminals." The Microsoft engineer said, "Close the windows, turn the car off, wait a minute then turn it on again, it should be fine."
A computer scientist is walking along when he meets a frog that speaks to him. The frog says, "i'm really a princess, kiss me and i'll turn into one" The computer scientist picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. a few minutes later, the frog says, "i really am a princess, kiss me and i'll turn into one and i'll stay with you for a week!" the computer scientist pulls the frog out of his pocket, looks at it, smiles and puts it back in his pocket. a few minutes after that the frog speaks again. "I'm a princess! just kiss me and i'll turn into one and i'll stay with you for ever!" The computer scientist takes the frog out of his pocket and says "i'm a computer scientist, i don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cooool!"
"Yesterday" Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There's not half the files there used to be, And there's a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly. I pushed something wrong What it was I could not say. Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far away. I knew my data was all here to stay, Now I believe in yesterday.