10 Things You Never Say or Do When a Customs Agent Inspects Your Luggage

Did you realize that the guys and girls who work for United States Customs seldom receive any credit or pats-on-the-back for doing a great job? That lack of recognition is not a confidence-building gesture. If I were a Customs Agent, I would be hacked to the bone.

Customs Agents are not some men and women who were looking for work and saw some ad asking for people to "fill positions" right away. These people are highly-trained and know every trick used by drug cartels to smuggle drugs into our country as well as people who make a good living off of smuggling things not allowed in our country. Things such as certain liquors, flowers, and the list would boggle your imagination.

In doing my research for this piece, I was amazed at how mentally-tough Customs Agents can be. Their eyes are always scanning the crowd of people returning from abroad carrying their luggage and dreading the inspection that Customs Agents have to perform in order for the people to enter or re-enter our country. It's all fair. No one, no matter how rich or poor they are, are treated any differently than anyone else.

The old saying, "if you are innocent, then you won't mind your luggage being inspected," certainly applies to the work of the United States Customs Agents. Frankly, I wouldn't want to be one. And for the one reason that even these Federal employees' lives are at risk with each suitcase they open. Why? Well, the suitcase may belong to a friend of some crime kingpin who resents his friends being rousted by authorities.

You can fill-in the rest.

And to be totally-fair with you, the first-time travelers to Europe, just let me say that none of this hub is of a joking matter. It's serious. It will grow more serious if you try to "get one by" these "eagle-eyed" men and women who can spot a housefly in the dark at a hundred yards.

So just relax and give me enough time for you to read these

10 Things You Never Say or Do When a Customs Agent Inspects Your Luggage

But before I give you the 10 things, I am giving you this "bonus" information about Custom Agents.

Here Are Things That Custom Agents Do Not Appreciate:

• For you to stand and glare at them while they inspect your goods.
• For you to tell suggestive jokes hoping that the jokes will distract them from doing their job.
• For you to be uncooperative.
• For you to "act" stupid and not answer their questions.

Here Are Things That Custom Agents Do Appreciate:

• For you to give them an honest smile.
• For you to help them do their job quicker and faster.
• For you to be attentive--answering all of their questions.
• For you to act in a civil manner. Not like a smart butt.

Now here are those

10 Things You Never Say or Do When a Customs Agent Inspects Your Luggage

(Things not to say):

1. "Hey, bud. Here's five-bucks if you will, uhhh, not look under my underwear."
2. "Did I go to high school with you?"
3. "Watch me do this magic trick. It won't take but a minute."
4. "Would you like to have dinner with me?"
5. "There is absolutely no cocaine in this overnight bag."

(Things not to do):

1. Turn cart wheels while yelling, "I am the walrus - - - coo, coo, ka--choo!"
2. Start a craps game with other travelers while waiting for your luggage to be inspected.
3. Make foolish faces at the Custom Agents to get them to laughing to break their focus.
4. Without warning, say, "That's it," and quickly grab your bags and try to run away.
5. Start doing a variety of celebrity impressions that include Mitt Romney and Damon Wayons.

Now that you have the tools of how to deal with Custom Agents, happy traveling.