The Province of Quebec
You Have Crossed The Border to Quebec When...
1. The name of every building, street and town begin with the word 'SAINT'.
2. Every convenience and grocery store sell beer and wine and have a better selection than the juice, pop and milk aisle AND it is sold on Sundays.
3. You are going 120 on the freeway, and you are still being honked at!
4. You hear the f-word continuously on the radio and in conversation as if it is the nicest word in the dictionary. But if you say 'tabernac' WATCH OUT! Very bad word here.
5. Having a beer at 10 in the morning is completely natural and expected.
6. If when asking directions, you decide to try speaking french, french people will immediately be helpful and will start speaking english to help you out. But, if you speak english first, they will not give you the time of day.
7. There are signs of injured children strewn all over residential areas that say 'be careful of our children, this one may be yours'(the injured one), and people are still going 90.
8. No one is married!
9. Everyone's last name is either: Paquet, Moisan, or Dion, and apparently no one is related!?!
10. Everyone is related.
11. Brandy is medicinal at all hours of the day!
12. No one has ever watched or even heard of 'FRIENDS'.
13. There is a sauce that goes with every food you eat.
14. Food is delicious and meals are made to be enjoyed.
15. Everyone gossips, but no one judges.
16. The color of margarine is debated more heatedly than politics.
17. Eggnog (lait de poule) is thought to be 'chicken milk' and so no one ever buys it.
18. 'Perogies? What this word? What you are talking about???' (get my drift?)
19. All Ontarians are blamed for what a handful of english adolescents do when they are on March break in Quebec.
20. There are police officers that enforce Language Laws. The french sign must be first and in bigger letters than the English, better yet, get rid of the English sign and let the squareheads get lost and then lets laugh when they try to ask for directions in French :)
21. Women are not allowed to take their husbands last names. Some kind of feminist thing???
22. In every town you will see a beautiful cathedral-style Catholic church whether the town has 100 or 100, 000 people,
23. All parents have their children baptized as soon as possible after their birth, but when asked if they believe in religion or in the church, they will tell you 'no'. (???)
24. People are really nice and fun to be around.
25. There are no population signs when entering any town in Quebec. Apparently the French want us confused as to how many of them there are so we don't see it coming when they rise up and separate from Canada.
26. There is a sign that says 'Ville de Quebec, La Capitale Nationale' (Quebec City, The Nation's Capital) and if you already know that Ottawa, is in fact, the capital of Canada, this sign is confusing, but only for as long as it takes you to figure out that Quebec considers itself to be its own Nation.
I hope you get a good laugh out of this, its not meant to be mean or disparaging, just a couple of points I have observed during my years here in Quebec. There are surely the same amount, and more, points to be made of the English. All in all, I love living here. The people are wonderful, and life is good.
Megan Ricci, Author
The Write World
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