Homely Queen with a Cupid's Bow Mouth

Homely Queen with a Cupid's-Bow Mouth, rickzimmerman 2010
Homely Queen with a Cupid's-Bow Mouth, rickzimmerman 2010

In fact, this royal figure — despite the cute Cupid’s-bow mouth — was such a homely newborn upon her arrival in 1543 that her parents, the Margrave and Margravine of Baden-Baden, Württemberg, named her Homelia Josepha Annunciato Seraphime auf Württemberg (or Homely Jasaw for short).

Though born into only a moderately prominent tier of southern German nobility — just below a Marchioness and a Marquise, but just above a Countess — Homely Jasaw proved to be quite calculating and resourceful. Using her shrewd shrew-like nose to sniff the political winds, and her plain looks and sleepy, baggy eyes to lull opponents into underestimating her, she was able to successfully maneuver up the ranks, past Marchioness and Infanta, Duchess and Grand Princessa.

By 1557, at the precocious age of only 14, she became Archduchess of Baden-Baden, by marrying the decidedly unattractive, doughy, diet-phobic and diabetic Archduke D’Artagnan Dimwiddie of Karlsruhe. Upon the poor Archduke’s descent into a diabetic coma brought on by an especially rich wedding-night Linzer Torte, the Archduchess became Baden-Baden’s sole ruler. Within a decade (after considerable additional court intrigue), she ascended to the throne as the widow Queen of Württemberg.

The ensuing 67-year-reign of Queen Homelia the First — a period of great peace and prosperity for all Württembergers —  gave rise to that well-known maxim: “Never judge a Queen by her nose.” 

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JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 4 years ago from Central Oklahoma

ROTFL! Love the caricature of Queen Homelia at the top of the hub!

Without mentioning a country, I think certain Royals of German descent would be far more attractive with the Bob Hope nose rather than those Dumbo ears...or looking wayyyyy too much like their polo ponies. ;D

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Thanks much, JG! (I hate to have to admit it, by my cartoon was inspired, in part, by Cate Blanchett's turn in severe hairdo and white make-up.)

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