How to (Not) Save Money on Vacation
One of my old college buddies recently did me the great honor of asking if I would be his best man. Since I rather like this particular college buddy, and since he promised an open bar at the reception, I heartedly accepted.
Now, my little family is a bit cash-strapped at the moment, so we set out for Los Angeles with every intention of doing this vacation in an efficient, and cost-effective manner. What we ended up doing reads a bit like a comedy of errors. So, for the edification and amusement of others, I would like to share a few tips about how (NOT) to save money on an L.A. wedding vacation!
- Definitely lose your purse at the airport
It may seem trivial, but the thrills and excitement of losing your purse - containing your wallet, cell phone, and boarding passes - is easily on par with any ride at Disneyland. Missing your first flight will ensure costly rerouting fees, which is super fun. If you are forced to fly to a different airport, then you can experience the added joy of your rental car costs DOUBLING, since you're picking up and dropping off in different locations. There are health benefits too! Your spouse will help avoid deep vein thrombosis by scampering around the airport in hopes of finding the purse.
- Try to awkwardly shoe-horn in a visit with nearby family
By ensuring that you have a trivial amount of time with loved ones, you can feel much, much better about the hours of extra driving (and associated fuel costs) during your vacation.
- Be sure to forget your luggage during said visit with family
Nothing makes hours of SoCal freeway traffic more enjoyable, than realizing that your entire suitcase of clothing is now hours away. You can save on eye drops, by quietly weeping during your drive!
- Plan a bachelor party somewhere with a strict dress code
This ensures that the evening will be expensive, and also that you will need to...
- Go shopping for all the things you needed in your suitcase
Who doesn't like shopping! Well, maybe you do, since you're trying to save cash, and everything you buy is just a duplicate for what was in that suitcase you forgot. Weep some more to keep those eyes moist. SoCal can be a bit arid.
- Stay at a hotel you can't sleep in
Why pay good money just to lie somewhere unconcious, when you can (unknowingly) get a room right next to a major Amtrak line, and have hours of extra awake vacation time. Enjoy the hourly wail of the train whistle, while your entire room shakes like it's the big one.
- Splurge on a nice hotel
It is a wonderful convenience to be able to walk/stumble to your room from the reception. Also, no trains. Bonus points if you paid extra for the "Romance Package" of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries for you and your spouse. Be sure to check in mid-day and then go out for a few hours, so the champagne will be tepid, and the strawberries mushy by the time you actually get to enjoy them!
But I digress. In spite of our many misadventures, it was an amazingly fun vacation. We reunited with a ton of old friends, and got to make a few new ones. I can say that even if you are unlucky enough to follow all of our travel tips, if your friends and family are anything like ours, your trip will still be completely worth it!
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