How to Pass Time Enjoyably at a Bus Stop
We have all been there before, at the proverbial bus stop of life with nothing to do but stare at your feet and look at your hands. Electronics can solve your problem, but if that were the case, you wouldn't have this problem. Besides, we're getting to a period where people who are too plugged into their phones, and not really living in the moment.
So what does that mean really - living in the moment? Well, it means interacting with life around you. With the people around you who really would rather have an interesting conversation with a real live person than text back and forth with your bud what you texted back and forth with your other bud. Omg.
To be unplugged could be a good thing, right? Well, then, let's consider that we have all our faculties, and that we will shut down our electronics for the good of humanity, and delve into the unfamiliar territory of real life encounters.
In this hub, we'll explore the possibility of entertaining ourselves without the use of electronics. Here are a few games to play while you're passing the time waiting for that proverbial bus:
- Do the Bus Stop
- Which Bus Do I Catch?
- People Waiting at the Bus Stop
- How to Make a New Friend
Do the Bus Stop
Do you know what the term 'work a room' means? It means different things to different people, it depends on what your intentions are. If your intentions are to sleep with everyone at the bus stop, or more realistically (not to imply that sleeping with everyone at the bus stop isn't realistic - we all know of a few people that could fit the bill) , if your intention is to promote yourself, or promote good feelings, that could be do-able. Let's explore that.
If you've ever been in sales, you already know how to approach people. You should be able to tell who the 'leave-me-the-hell-alone' people are, but if you feel really adventurous, go for that one. It's either the burly guy with tats on his neck that has been eyeing you fiercely since you got there, or it's the petit middle aged woman with absolutely no part of her body exposed and a big book that covers her entire face - it might be the bible.
Adventure it is:
"Sup." you say as you nod up once - don't bob your head up and down or it might seem like you're challenging him. He doesn't say anything, but intensifies his glare. Oh boy. Find middle ground - something to get him to talk, or at least blink! You need to find something you can both relate to - middle ground. Omg. Something you should have done before you said Sup. Why 'did' you say Sup - does anybody even talk like that? Focus! The tattoos on his neck - alright, nice.
"Nice ink." You say as you point to your own neck - don't stick a finger at his neck. All of a sudden his eyes soften. You've done it, press in on that.
"That must of cost some serious coin - what city did you get that in?" Nice touch, asking him if he got it in another city puts him in the light that he travels, which signifies that you may think that he is of a higher status than the leg breaking collector that he may actually be. If he starts talking, keep it light and not invasive or personal - guys like this won't get into personal stuff unless they know you. If he shuts down again, don't pursue it - unless you again feel adventurous.
Okay, observation on finding middle ground on your poor unsuspecting victims at the bus stop is step one. If you find anyone that is not putting out a don't-bother-me signal, it might be easier, but still find middle ground and proceed. You just might find someone as interesting as yourself.
Which Bus Do I Catch
You can always do the group approach!
"Hi guys, hey, can anybody tell me which bus do I catch...". If someone speaks up, get closer - not too close - to the person because you will be working your charm on him/her.
In sales, the one that runs out of words first, is the loser. So before that person re-inserts their ear phones, shoot another question at them that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. If you have searched your group before your approach, you would have seen that the person that spoke to you has earphones around her neck. Has very little make up, if any. She has a back pack that isn't too full - probably houses an iPad or small laptop. She has jeans on, but a trendy blouse and jacket. Little diamond studs - could be fake. Check the shoes. Trendy heels, not worn down, not scuffed, and toe nails are painted. Middle ground - whats the middle ground. You spot it, men's watch - now there's a story.
"Can you tell me what time it is?" (Make sure you don't have a watch on - if you do have a watch, you may consider being straight forward and honest. "I noticed your watch, there must be a great story behind that..".
Great, you've done the assessment of the group, you have put a question out there that would bring forward someone that likes to help people, and you've asked a great question that would reveal more pieces of the person that you are by now, deeply in a conversation with.
People Waiting at the Bus Stop
You should understand something about people that wait at the bus stop; they all have reasons for being there, most of the time, one person's reason is different from the rest. But you know what? We all love to talk about our own reason - but just, not all the time.
Sometimes, we just want to be left alone to catch up on work, to make crucial life decisions, to have a little time to ourselves, to recharge our batteries with a nap, or to just wallow - not necessarily in our own self pity, but may be just to escape from having to have a reason to wallow.
Check your people at your bus stop. See the night shift worker who always looks tired, and always has his eyes closed. Do not bother him, let him rest. See the student that is extremely shy, always reading a textbook and doing his homework - he can't be bothered. The quiet woman who sits in the corner of the bus stop shelter cringing from any contact physical or verbal - attempts would be futile. The homeless man that is always swearing at you because you showed up at his bus stop again - Yes, we should avoid bothering these people.
Consideration goes a long way, if someone appears to be busy, let them be. If they want you to talk with them, they'll clue you with a smile or question of their own.
How to Make a New Friend
You remember how it was when you were a little kid... you were a bit scared, rejection was always hard to take as a kid that wanted to 'just' play. But, now you're all grown up, and you don't have to have hurt feelings if you're rejected right?
Would you like to know what the secret is about making a new friend? Don't try to make a new friend - go for, just getting to know a little more about a person. Take an interest in people as a general rule - of course, you'll be polite and abide by the golden rule (you know, do unto others...) because you never know, sometimes the one you don't care too much about, might end up as your best bud!
If you take an interest in people, and treat people with respect, people tend to just kind of magnetize themselves to you. Friends kind of happen all by themselves - you don't have to push or guide the friendship, just build a strong foundation. You build strong foundations with people by earning their trust, and developing the relationship. You develop the relationship by investing in them.
Invest in your friends:
How do you invest in them? You get them something, or you commit to something that only they like to do. Something that would be more of a sacrifice to you, because you are putting them first. Beware, don't put the cart before the horse, if you're not friends yet, don't over do it or people might think that you're after something. If you're just starting out as friends, don't go too out of your way to earn their trust. Baby steps.
So what is the pay out on your investment? That's what broadens, builds and strengthens your relationship. If they are worth being a friend, they will reciprocate, and add to the foundation of the friendship. After awhile, you will just do things for your friend, 'because' he or she is your friend.
Your best bud may start off to be just your bus buddy, but as you progress, you get invited to a party, or a luncheon, or even a family get together. As you begin to find things in common, your interests align and you start doing things together. Before you know it, you're referring to your bus buddy as your friend to others.
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