San Antonio Streets Suck

The Awful Maze

In this new era of GPS devices, some may question the relevance of this article, but I'm willing to bet that there are people out there, as you read this, pulling their hair out trying to find locations, and their sanity, in Downtown San Antonio, TX.

Remember the Alamo? I hope you remember how you found your way to the Alamo, and remember how to get back to your car or hotel room. I'm convinced that the city planners, anticipating General Santa Anna's return, purposely designed the downtown streets as a maze in the hopes of confusing and frustrating and totally demoralizing any future invading armies from the South. It's unfortunate that this spaghetti bowl of streets serves to do this to the the city's tourists and inhabitants instead.

Below, I've compiled a list of (almost) all the sadistically constructed components of the labyrinth that comprises the center of the Alamo City. Please enjoy contemplating how heinous of a monstrosity man can create to shatter the soul of a fellow human being.

Designed to Confuse Motorists

List of Illogical Roadway Situations in and around Downtown San Antonio

(in no particular order, to further illustrate the chaos)

Monstrous Intersection at Main, San Pedro, Camden , and Romana

Weird Intersection at Alamo St. and Probandt St . (appears to be a T-intersection where Alamo St. would end if going South, but Alamo St. makes turn and goes West).

Weird Intersection at Presa, Labor, and Carolina

Weird Intersection at Alamo , Presa, and Camargo

Surprise Name Switches (not including those of streets that elbow together).

San Saba and Quincey

Jackson St. and Buffalo Run

San Pedro and Main

Navaro, Romana, Main , and San Pedro

Houston St , 3rd St , and Martin St

Dallas St and Erie Ave

St. Mary’s and Navarro

St. Mary’s St and Jones Ave

St. Mary’s, Underpass, and Roosevelt Ave

St. Mary’s and 9th St .

13th St, Roy Smith street and back to 13th Street

Auditorium Circle and Avenue A and Richmond Avenue

Lexington Ave , 4th Street , and Bowie

Rossy, and Pecan

Alamo St and Frio St .

Broadway, La Soya, and Alamo St .

Alamo St. and Parieda St .

Dolorosa and Market St .

Laredo St. and Santa Rosa Ave

El Paso and Arsenal St .

Washington St. and Pancoast St .

Labor St and Suerte St

Labor St and Florida St .

Refugio St and Camargo St and Barrera St .

Crofton

Lavaca and Santos St

Mission Rd and Lone Star

Mission Rd and Grove Ave.

Carle Ave and King Roger

Bank St and Steves St

Cass Ave and Mokert St

Eagleland Dr and Carolina

Edwards and Lubbock

Fragmented Streets (Street Disappears and Reappears Elsewhere).

Vallita

Crocket St.

San Saba

Dallas St .

3rd St .

Rossy

Labor St .

Refugio

Canal St.

Sheridan St .

Elm St.

Lambert

King Roger

Cass

Lubbock

Streets that Stagger (Street seems to end at T-intersection but continues at another T-intersection nearby).

Brooklyn

Sadie

Fest

Dowdy 3x

Rische St .

Claudia

Lubbock

Marty St.

Street Name Changes due to Elbows (significant curves or turns without intersections)

Martin and Pecan

Avenue A and 12th Street

Kallison Walk and Yturri St .

Old Guilbeau and Aubrey St .

Santa Clara , Peton Path, and Burrus Path

Elm St and Blum St

Lavaca and Water St .

Burkshire and Dunning

Highland Blvd. and Buckingham

Panama and Conrad St .

Whittier , Aberdeen and Kinley St

Stark and Rehman

Lachepelle and Elis Bean

Dowdy and Oelkers

Burbank and Zavala

Glass Ave. and Halstead

Given Ave. and Pruet

Hale and Dullye

Sharp and Turnstall

Lubbock and Edwards

Mockert and Zavala

Stribling and Nogalitos

In addition, there are countless dead ends, many of which indicate a street that continues, by the same name, across a major highway.  These are fragmented streets that I didn't bother to include specifically since there are so damn many of them.

>:O

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