The Spoof Scottish Citizenship Test

UK Citizenship Test

Recently the British Government unveiled a new citizenship examination for people from outside the UK who want to come and live permanently in the country.

The test consists of 10 Questions, which are so easy to answer that you would think failure was really not an option.

In 2014 the people of Scotland go to the ballot box to vote on whether they would like to break free from the United Kingdom and become an Independent country or remain as part of the Union.

Depending on the result of this vote, the people of Scotland may need to come up with a citizenship test of their own.

Below you will find my version of how this test could look and the answers.

Where Is Edinburgh Castle

The Famous Edinburgh Castle But where is it situated?
The Famous Edinburgh Castle But where is it situated? | Source

Scottish Citizenship Test

Question 1

Where is Edinburgh Castle?

  1. Glasgow
  2. Edinburgh
  3. Dundee
  4. Aberdeen

Answer

Edinburgh

Question 2

Where are Donald's Trousers?

  1. The Isle of Sky
  2. Left on the bus
  3. In the dry cleaners
  4. Donald doesn't wear any trousers

Answer

Donald does not wear any trousers

Question 3

What does True Scotsman wear under the kilt?

  1. Y Fronts
  2. Boxers
  3. Nothing
  4. It's a secret

Answer

What a Scot wears under the kilt is a secret.

Donald Where's Yer Troosers

Sir William Wallace

"You may take our lives but you will never take our FREEDOM!"
"You may take our lives but you will never take our FREEDOM!" | Source

Scottish Citizenship Test

Question 4

Which Scottish hero was portrayed in the movie Braveheart?

  1. Grounds keeper Willie
  2. Johnnie Walker
  3. William Wallace
  4. Jimmthejock (me)

Answer

William Wallace

Question 5

Where in Scotland would you find a Haggis?

  1. On your plate for dinner
  2. Hiding inside the bagpipes
  3. Roaming the hills and glens of Scotland
  4. Tossing the caber at a Highland Games.

Answer

Haggis is a Scottish delicacy made from the insides of sheep wrapped inside a sheeps stomach. You would find it on your dinner plate.

Jhn Logie Baird The inventor of Television.
Jhn Logie Baird The inventor of Television. | Source

A Match That Scotland Actually won

Scottish Citizenship Test

Question 6

Which Scot was credited with Inventing Television?

  1. George TV
  2. Micheal Channels
  3. Jock McSporran
  4. John Logie Baird

Answer

John Logie Baird Invented television.

Question 7

Robert Burns is famous for his?

  1. Soccer skills
  2. Poetry
  3. Whisky
  4. Steak Pies

Answer

Robert Burns was Scotlands most famous Poet.

Question 8

What is the name of Scotland's National Soccer Team?

  1. Scotland
  2. England
  3. Jamaica
  4. Spain

Answer

Would you believe that the National team of Scotland is actually called Scotland.

Scottish Gaelic

Alexander Fleming

Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin and has saved millions of lives world wide.
Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin and has saved millions of lives world wide. | Source

Scottish Citizenship Test

Question 9

Which Language do the majority of Scots speak?

  1. French
  2. English
  3. German
  4. Scottish Gaelic

Answer

Contrary to popular belief the majority of people in Scotland speak English.

Question 10

Which Famous Scot discovered Penicillin?

  1. A. Biotic
  2. A. Hole
  3. A. Cureall
  4. A. Fleming

Answer

Alexander Fleming was the man who discovered Penicillin

Scottish Citizenship Test Results

The pass mark would be based on the same criteria as the British Citezenship test and immigrants would be allowed through the gates into Scotland if they scored 70% or more.

Just like the British test Scotlands test is very difficult to fail.

good luck to all of those people who need to get away from their country and settle in the UK.

The Real British Citizen Test

More by this Author


Comments 13 comments

point2make profile image

point2make 3 years ago

That was fun...enjoyed the test...thanks. Voted up


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 3 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Well, I passed the Scottish test, but only got 60% on the British one. I wonder how many Americans can pass the American test! I might just do a hub on that!

Amusing diversion for the morning. Thanks!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

My Grandfather, born in Glasgow would have loved this test!

I did well on it myself :) Thanks.


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 3 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks point2make, Austinstar and vocalcoach, for your visit and comments.

I enjoyed compiling this Hub and had a few giggles along the way, even as far as mentioning myself in one of the answers lol.

Glad that you all enjoyed it and thanks again.....jimmy


innerspin profile image

innerspin 3 years ago from uk

Finding hagis in your bagpipes would be a very bad thing! I could pass this test, can I have dual citizenship with England, to make it easier when crossing the border?


HLPhoenix profile image

HLPhoenix 3 years ago

I loved this Hub and these tests... as an old Canadian transposed to the USA... I thought I'd do better on the English test. I passed them both quite well, but equally. Voted up and Sharing.


Learning in Life profile image

Learning in Life 3 years ago from SW Florida

I have Scottish blood and actually traced it to Glasgow but I wouldn't pass that test!


old albion profile image

old albion 3 years ago from Lancashire. England.

Hi Jimmy. Thanks, a great tongue in cheek test for the non Scot, I enjoyed it. I do hope though that we all stay together in the future.

Voted up and all.

Graham.


annart profile image

annart 3 years ago from SW England

Brilliant hub! Can't imagine what non-Brits make of the Scots or the UK test. This was fun. I love Scotland and know quite a few Scots who all have a great sense of humour. Voted up, interesting and funny.


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

Loved your Scottish Citizenship test, Jimmy.

The question I had in the years I lived in Scotland was "Why won't the English accept Scottish pounds?"

I'd be given Bank of England pounds from ATMs in Scotland and the Scots would graciously accept them, but as soon as I tried to spend pounds from the Bank of Scotland or the Clydesdale Bank at any corner store in England, they refused to take them. I could never understand that. :(


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

I always thought a haggis lived up a tree! Haha! funny stuff, and voted and shared! nell


Rich W2K profile image

Rich W2K 3 years ago from Gold Coast

Damn, I got number 5 and 10 wrong. Still 80%, not bad for a weegie. My mum always told me that a haggis is a wee furry creature roaming the hills. I even had the stuffed toy! Plus, I was really hoping that the history books creditted A. Hole with the discovery of penicillin.


Availiasvision profile image

Availiasvision 3 years ago from California

I'd have to study for this test if I were to apply for citizenship. Yikes!

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