Things Forbidden for You to Do at Any Motel

Why is this motel customer happy?

Source

The answer to above question

is because other customers of this motel were respectful to him. They observed all of the motel rules for patrons. They were also quiet and exercised "safety first" at the motel pool.

To be brief. If everyone of us who uses motels would simply "be the example" of a good customer, obey all of the rules, then everyone who walks out of any motel door would be as happy as this gentleman.

Now for my part of helping all motel customers do their part of being better customers, I have designed a simple formula for you to follow below. This design is so simple any middle-school student could follow it.

You will see 11 photos of Things Forbidden for You Not to Do at Any Motel and with the photo, you will see more examples strictly-designed for that section. EXAMPLE: Pool rules will have just rules to obey at motel pools

Abusing the front desk clerk

Source
  • No cursing at the front desk clerk for any reason
  • No throwing items at the front desk clerk such as baseballs, rocks, or luggage
  • No using stolen credit cards to pay your motel bill
  • No using fake names such as: "John Stump" for if the clerk gets suspicious, they can run a background check of you
  • Do not hold your baby or Basset Hound up to the clerk for her to kiss
  • Do not talk to the front desk clerk with scrambled eggs in your mouth

Do not act a fool in the coffee shop or restaurant

Source
  • No bellowing, "You call this slop food?"
  • No food-fights with your old college frat buddies
  • No mooning the other customers
  • No making-out with your girlfriend in the coffee shop/restaurant
  • No table-dancing for adventurous hot girls
  • No turning tables over because you are in an angry rage because your basketball team lost in the Final Four

Harrassing motel employees

Source
  • Telling motel manager lies about motel employees to get them fired
  • Doing their jobs for them to make them look bad just because you are a bully
  • Bribing motel employees to wash your car
  • Asking motel employees for more towels (so you can steal them)

No taking prostitutes into motel

Source
  • No illegal drugs on your person anywhere in motel
  • No wild parties at the motel swimming pool
  • No wild parties in your motel room that are so loud that the entire floor checks out
  • Absolutely no running around ONLY in your swimming trunks - men and women
  • No demonstrating to other guests at the motel pool how to make-out with a prostitute

No scaring little children to make them jump in pool

Source
  • No jumping into pool in the nude
  • No urinating on the way down into the pool
  • No pushing old people into the pool for laughs
  • No tossing animals into the pool
  • No riding donkeys around and in the pool
  • No firearms allowed at motel pool
  • No firearms allowed in the motel pool
  • No inflatable pornographic dolls allowed at pool
  • No pushing motel employees into the pool
  • No unscrewing the bolts to the diving board making the next person to jump just fall into the pool while you sit back and laugh

No telling lies to little kids telling them that the pool is just for them

Source
  • Sending your kid to the motel pool to play (when no other kids) are at the pool to give you and your new wife some time to play assorted sex games in the room
  • Making your kid believe that the water in the pool is grape Kool-Aid
  • No telling your child to not follow the lifeguard's orders -- if your child wants to run and yell around the pool, he can do it
  • No giving your child the money to bring you a bottle of whiskey to your room
  • No telling your child if he will kick the lifeguard in the shins, he can swim all day long

No drunken-binges allowed at motel pool

Source
  • No chug-a-lug contests using hard-liquor at motel pool
  • No usage of electronic-devices such as microphones and amplifiers so you can sing in a drunken stupor like Stephen Tyler of Aerosmith because if you fall into the water you will die
  • No riding the backs of your friends around the pool and then you both dive into the pool

No fighting with your wife at the motel pool

Source
  • No telling lies to your wife as to where you are going. If she gets upset, she may lose her temper and throw the chaise lounge at you and injure you
  • No loud talk to your wife or kids. Motel customers must respect their own families at all times as well as other customers' families
  • No vulgar threats to be made to your wife (or girlfriend if you are single) to give you more cash so you can lose it gambling in the motel casino

No heckling the entertainment

Source
  • Absolutely no asking the female entertainment out for dates
  • This is Deborah Harry, of Blondie, once-popular 80's rock band, she is sitting spread legged as a personal protest against all of the male jerks who have interrupted her singing
  • No begging the entertainment for money for you to buy more drinks
  • No telling the entertainment that they have to go "through you" in order to secure more dates to play at the motel

Davy Jones of the Monkees, is just talking to these hot girls

Source
  • But you are an unknown, so do not even look as if you are coming on to girls at the motel pool or on any motel property
  • Do not try to get (even legal age) girls to come up to your room because a motel is not a house of ill repute

This is an ACTUAL photo of a jackass motel manager throwing acid into the pool when African-American children were swimming

Source
  • Segregation is over. And has been over for many years. Do not be as stupid as this jerk throwing acid in the motel pool. Even though he is the manager, he is buying his one-way ticket to Hades for this heinous act
  • Hold all people of ethnic backgrounds in high respect when you are swimming, eating, or attending a motel-related event
  • It was God whom made all of the races, not you, "Mr. White Supremacist," so do not act as if you have some special rights to treat other races any way you like
  • Please, I beg of you, act civilized even though you are only "acting," just try as hard as you can to be civil
  • Learn to educate yourself on other races. You might learn something new about the human race and thus, you can become a better person

" Happy Motoring "

More by this Author


6 comments

sheilamyers 2 years ago

I have to admit I broke one of these rules. Yes, I've heckled the entertainment - if you consider a fireworks display and the person setting them off under your category of entertainment. One 4th of July, my mom and I were in Tennessee and rented one of the cabins (part of the hotel) along the lake. The owner decided to send someone to the nearest fireworks stand and buy a bunch and set them off for the customers. Most of them were duds or just dinky little things. So me and my cousin were both bored and started heckling the fireworks and the guy setting them off. The other customers seemed to enjoy our form of entertainment better than the real thing.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Sheila,

LOL! I love that word, "duds." What a hub that one word would make. I love YOUR comments better than my own hubs. I really do. I wish you would put this experience into a hub--I would view/read and vote. You know that I would.

Thanks for being such a great friend and follower.

Kenneth


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Interesting and I did not pay attention to these rules now I know more about it thank you.


Kenneth Avery 2 years ago

Thank you, DDE. I appreciate you stopping by. You can stop in anytime and visit. Have a great day.

K.


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Ken: I never thought about writing a hub about heckling the fireworks, but now that you mention it, I'll add it to my list. Thanks.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

sheilamyers,

I am sure that whatever hub you write, it will be super. I have that type of faith and confidence.

Go for it! That's my advice.

Kenneth

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working