R U You Trippin'?


All I wanna do is have some fun........

Modes of Transportation for Travel

The Five P's!

Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance

I am a planner. I like to plan everything in advance. I even have my next life planned. Having 3 daughters, I am always on the go. In the event that I need to make a quick escape I have mapped out four predetermined locations. I researched the different modes of transportation and the costs and travel times to each destination.


Air travel is usually the fastest way from point A to point B (or C or D). It is also usually more expensive. American Airlines touts they guarantee they have the cheapest flights available. I did test this and found cheaper flights to Texas at Southwest Airlines. If you want to fly - flight costs vary greatly by the day of the week you fly. AA seems to have cheaper flights during the week and a bit higher on the weekends. The drawback with air travel is there is really tight security. So if you are planning to kill someone - don't fly to their residence! There is always a paper trail, video included.

NOTE: Taking a snow globe on an airplane is illegal! It doesn't matter that they even sell them at the airport. Apparently there is some sign that says, "Snow Globes may not be transported on an airplane." I didn't see it! I packed those snow globes that I took an hour to pick out in Hollywood for each of my daughters in my carry on. I wrapped them lovingly in clothing so they would not break. I knew my girls would think the scenes inside the globes and the music were beautiful, magical. Little did I know I was about to cross over to the other side. The moment I walked onto the airplane I became a smuggler of illegal goods! A RealHousewife gone rogue. Now, I can't fathom why a snow globe would be an exception to the rule. I guess I could beat someone over the head with it. I could go completely ninja and kill everyone and hijack the plane with a snow globe. A can of coke could be just as dangerous and they serve that on a plane. I took a cup of Starbuck's coffee on the plane - that wasn't a crime. I know there is a little girl in LA who has a whole wall full of snow globes and her daddy works at LAX.

Greyhound Bus

Greyhound bus stations are ubiquitous with locations scattered across the nation. Bus is usually the cheapest means of travel. It is also one of the slower means of transportation so if you are in a hurry you may not want to take the bus. Busses are also uncomfortable after about 30 minutes so you may not want to go long distances by bus. You can take a snow globe on a bus.

Greyhound also offers a variety of tours and hotel accomodations. If you are on a tight budget this might just be the way to go. There is also less security at bus stations, I checked that out myself.


Hobo Language

Amtrak Train

Trains are not always the cheapest way to travel. They are usually the slowest route, as well. If you choose to follow the regular procedure and you prefer to ride inside the train you will need to purchase a ticket. Paying passengers also have the option of purchasing a sleeper car if your destination is further. They have fold out beds and more privacy if you desire keeping a low profile. You can take a snow globe on a train. You could take drugs or guns too - they don't check for anything. They announce over a loud speaker that you - the passenger should report any suspicious packages or people to security. I did see a suspicious baby but I didn't want to get involved.

Trains historically also provide transportation for those who are less fortunate or those who live on the fringes of society. Hobos, tramps and gypsies are a few examples of people who would "jump" on trains for cheap transport. Typically, these people are not educated and do not read well. A form of communication was developed for these type of people to help each other. These symbols are called Hobo Glyphs. Signs, letters or symbols were often scratched into trees, objects, scribbled or drawn with chalk to leave messages for others who could interpret this code. Hobos were people that traveled to work - such as migratory workers. It is unknown when these sort of people began to appear in hisory. Mid 19th century at the end of the American Civil War soldiers began hopping trains home and it has been a popular transport system to many. Especially if you are a criminal and you are on the lam. These are the people that will help.



If you own a vehicle you could choose to drive the journey. Road trips are very popular now days. It is easier than ever to plan this kind of trip by using a website like Rand McNally. Many of these site's have trip planners. The route shows you which restaurants, gas stations, shops, or hotels are along the route. It also gives information regarding any landmarks or historical sites to see along the way. It might point out state parks or events that you might like to stop for.

If you have children you may think that you would rather set yourself on fire than spend entire days in the car together. Think again. I often take the kids on road trips throughout Missouri and Illinois. It gives me ample time to talk all kinds of sense into them and they can't get away. It is my brand of "brainwashing" time. We talk about manners and proper behavior and junk. I think of it as Car Church and I get to be The Preacher.

I dose the lectures out in between rounds of real fun though or else I'd never trick them into the car. They love to play what they call, "The Alphabet Game." We start with the letter A and you have to find a word that represents that letter before you advance on a sign or a business name. We also have several sets of trivia type flashcards that we use to quiz each other. The girls learned all of the United States and their capital cities this way. Trivial Pursuit makes a pocket version of their game for travel.

However, the national average for a gallon of regular gas is $3.69. Of all the trips that I priced - driving is just as costly for one person and one of the slower ways to get to your destination. If you have a family of five then driving could be economical. Driving is easier than ever with small children now thanks to portable DVD players, Netflix and laptop computers with 3G.


Walking is a path less traveled but can be the cheapest option. If you chose to walk (or if the getaway car breaks down) you could resort to walking. Walking is healthy. Walking is believed to decrease your chances of heart attack, cancer, helps circulation, it helps control diabetes and aids in weight loss. Walking also is excellent for mental heath. However, the average healthy person can only walk approximately 20 miles per day. You would need an awful lot of vacation days to get to California from St. Louis. If you are unemployed or just on the run, time may not be a consideration so walking could be yet another benefit. I would make sure that I planned for good weather and a route with lots of restaurants and hotels along the way. Me - I'm not a walker. I am a "watch other people walk" kind of person.

No matter what your endeaver - make sure to employ the 5 p's. Most businesses fail in the first year due to improper planning. Wars have been lost, criminals have been caught and love has been lost all due to a little short sightedness and lack of a realistic plan. No matter what - never take a snow globe on a plane.

If anyone is planning to be in the Missouri area soon, I could use a ride. Please come after dark and leave the headlights out. I can be located at the pin on the map in O'Fallon, I sure appreciate it! Damn snow globes.

Cost Comparison

St. Louis to.......
Amtrac / Total Travel Time
Greyhound / Total Travel Time
*Automobile / Total Travel Time / Cost of Gas
American Airlines / Total Travel Tme
Toronto, Canada
$235.00 - 34 hr 47 min
$128.70 - 19 hr 55 min
~816 miles - 13 hr 47 min - $240.00
$245.00 - 6 hr 44 min
Austin, TX
$140.00 - 22 hr 30 min
$151.20 - 20 hr 15 min
~842 miles - 14 hr 30 min - $250.00
$168.00 - 3 hr 40 min
Los Angeles, CA
$207.00 - 35 hr 30 min
$189.00 - 1 D 16 hr 35 min
~1,850 miles - 1 D 5 hr - $546.00
$148.00 - 7 hr 10 min
Miami, FL
$279.00 - 58 hr
$156.00 - 1 D 6 hr 40 min
~1,244 miles - 20 hr 57 min - $367.22
$103.00 - 2 hr 40 min

*The chart above is based on gas being approximately $3.69 per gallon and an automobile that averages approximately 25 miles per gallon of gas. (Round trip).

Ticket prices are quoted for one way fares.

show route and directions
A markerO'Fallon Missouri Police Department -
100 North Main St., O'Fallon, MO
[get directions]

B markerLucky Lizard Curios & Gifts -
412 East 6th street, austin, tx
[get directions]

C markerLoose Moose Tap & Grill -
146 Front St. West Toronto, ON M5J 1G2
[get directions]

D markersanta monica boulevard, ca -
Santa Monica Blvd, CA, USA
[get directions]

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Comments 50 comments

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

lol! You had me at "I even have my next life planned"! I too am a detailed trip planner ad nauseum. My kids will say they left home because they grew up and it was time, but I suspect it was *really* to escape having one of Mom's infamous Trip Books thrust at them - 3-ring binders that contained EVERY detail about the journey they were embarking on, with "CALL HOME EVERY 2 HOURS!" at the top and bottom of each page. Friends traveling with them found them an endless source of entertainment, so they DID serve a purpose. ;D

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi JamaGenee - too funny! I make lists and pack everything from band aids to shoes for each outfit:) lol I do drive my kids crazy. My oldest (23) just got home tonight from a Carribean cruise and I swear she just did it so I couldn't call her every day! But 3 ring binders - I AM impressed! Good point too - friends are great companions and distractions. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Car Church now that is priceless! When I was 22 I took a greyhound from L.A. to Toronto. I was alone and it had to be the scariest trip of my life. I really should write a hub about it. I think I would enjoy the same trip by train.

I want to comment more but have to go make lunches. I'll be back. Enjoyed your hub!

PETER LUMETTA profile image


I find that if I plan as extensively as you do I don't go anywhere. My planning consists of wow I'd like to go there and then leaving. It has worked so far. Good article though, but an awful lot of work, you could be in South Bend by now.


Husky1970 5 years ago

An amusing and entertaining hub. Don't forget about another option, boat. Ferries can be an excellent mode of transportation, particularly if there is water between you and your destination. And they do allow snow globes. Every Thursday and Friday night in the summer months, I get to watch 200-300 people from New York City arrive on Martha's Vineyard after a 5 hour ferry ride. They always seem very happy and satisfied. Maybe because they were able to avoid the time consumming process of getting to and through security at JFK. And it is way too far to walk for a weekend stay. And the 5 + hour drive in heavy Friday night traffic to Woods Hole in Falmouth, only to then take a short ferry ride anyway, is a very poor option. Letting the bus driver do it for them is a slight bit better but nearly as time consumming. And when the bus is stationary in stop and go traffic, it doesn't make one feel that much better because he is not behind the wheel.

So, these 200-300 people are happy and relaxed because they followed the proper planning suggested by the RealHousewife. They stepped onto a ferry in NYC with a good book, a laptop, or whatever, sat back, had a drink or two, and then stepped off the ferry in Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts 5 hours later. And with their snow globe soundly secure in their luggage. And, oh yeah, maybe they brought their bike as well for their transportation needs once they arrived on the island.

Sorry for the long rambling post, but your hub made me think of how I would get from New Jersey or NYC to my favorite island for a weekend in the summer. Because I, too, am a planner. Voted up and funny and thoroughly enjoyed your hub.

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Well, the 3-ring binders came about to give an elderly friend something to occupy her on trips she otherwise wouldn't take because she had absolutely NO sense of direction. So I'd take her along whenever I went out of town. The first trip was a nightmare for both of us because she was continually asking where we were and what the next town was, etc. The next time, I presented her with the first Trip Book, which answered every question she could possibly ask, and she was happy as a clam. Until then, I'd been stuffing the lists for family trips into a large manila envelope, which would become a Trip Journal of sorts after we returned home. The (thin) 3-ring binders made it easier to keep everything organized, also the pockets in each cover were handy for 2-for-1 coupons for restaurants and tourist attractions as well as for the brochures we inevitably snapped up at each stop. ;D

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

RealHousewife, since you live practically on the Mississippi, I'm surprised Husky1970 had to remind you of water as another transportation option! I and a daughter used to dream of floating down the Big Muddy from St Louis to New Orleans or "up" to Minneapolis on the Delta Queen or one of her sisters. The Delta Queen, btw, is now in London on the Thames. Can't tell you what a shock it was to see a paddle wheeler (5,000?) miles from her home waters! ;D

Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

Great advice....I did not know about the snow globes as well...you learn something new everyday. My wife and I also talk about riding a train on our next vacation....and every time we check the prices and the logistics of taking the train....and every time we say..."No way do we have the time or the money to travel by train"....but I still hold out hope that one day we will travel by train. Good luck finding the ride...lol....awesome hub filled with great information.

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Snow globes? What the heck are snow globes? Come to think of it, what the heck is snow?

If you try to bring one to Texas, I believe it will melt. This is probably why you can't take them on planes. When they get over Texas, they all melt and cause engine outages which is not good if you are in a plane.

What kind of plans do you have for your next life? Is there a hub coming? Can't wait. I know it will be very very interesting.

Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

This is a very entertaining hub. Only you could make such a subject as planning a trip so entertaining. Brilliant. Thank you.

BTW the reasoning behind the ban on snow globes is because it is feared that terrorists could replace the water in the globe with nitroglycerin.

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Susan - I bet it was a scary trip by bus to LA and I would love for you to write a hub about it! I bet it was very educational! I would not want Laurel to go that alone! Yeah - I love car Church! Especially because I love an audience that can't escape! LOL A train would be fun to take that trip but get a sleeping car - that would be awesome!

Peter - if I didn't have kids - I would maybe be less thorough - but you never want to just grab the kids and go! They have to have distractions and activities all along the way or they might drive me nuts! Lol. But hey - if its not broken don't fix it - just keep traveling!

Hi Husky1970 - ahhhhhh ya got me! I actually did not forget about boat but that one worked itself into its own hub:) lol. Traveling by ferry would be fun - my grandfather used to live in Arkansas when I was little - the only way to cross the river to his house was over the ferry. It was awesome as a kid. I have never been to Martha's Vineyard but I would love to go! I have noticed it is a popular location in novels and books too. I think you should plan a trip there again before summer is up for sure!

Jama - yeah I actually took some links out so I could make boat trips a little different:) I love traveling by boat. I even worked on a show boat - really fun job, I had to laugh when you said one of the binders was for an elderly friend who keeps asking, "how much longer?" basically! Haha! But I am really stealing that idea - it's perfect! I could even paste little photos of stops or points of interest along the way. I bet it makes a great journal for keepsakes. The coupons are another terrific addition to include. I just can't thank you enough for that one. I know the kids would enjoy making a scrapbook out of it:)

Cogerson - whatever you do - don't take a snow globe on a plane! You can just put them in your checked baggage and hope they don't explode. You should go on a train with the family - it is awesome. Since tracks go where there are no other vehicles - it is an interesting way to see the sights. It can be really expensive but we went to Chicago - which is a 5 1/2 hour train ride from St. Louis and it was only $24.00 for the kids for a round trip ticket! $36.00 for an adult! That's crazy cheap! Check out cities that have lots to do closer to home. I bet you'll be surprised how many places you can go for next to nothing.

Austin - that's funny - I was in Texas once and it snowed a tiny. It and everyone was going to the store and buying all the milk and bread! I was amazed! I guessed it doesn't snow much there? I was curious about that. Maybe you're onto something - if the snow globe explodes? Catastrophy!

My next life is going to be on another planet! I'm not entirely sure how I'll get there - but I'm hoping someone will invent those flying saucers like in The Jetsons! Wouldn't that be awesome?

Thank you so much everyone - for the great and fun comments!

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

SW - ahhhhhh thank you! I just didn't understand why it was so taboo! Since you mention it - I guess I do look a little shady like a could be terrorist! And is nitroglycerin readily available? Where would a normal person get that? Could I crush up my grandpa's heart pills?lol

Seriously, thanks for adding that - I don't think I'm the only one who is curious that. It must be a newer thing - and how sad that has to be looked out for. I would have never guessed that. Thank you so much for your fun comments:)

writer20-joyce 5 years ago

Like you when I was busy working and running around I planned everything writing in a note pad what I need to take or do.. everything from clothes to the bathroom stuff. It always made it easier to pack.

Now that I'm retired I don't don't that as much.

The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

RHW - I don't know why but somehow I had you pegged as a planner, right down to the last detail. You can get anal with it I bet.

I looked for a chart comparing the cost of walking to LA from here and musta missed it.

The Frog

marellen 5 years ago

LOL...you are so funny and I just loved your hub. so informative. Why can't you talk a snow globe on a plane? Because they can’t measure how much liquid it contains, and therefore it might contain more than three oz of potential explosive, um, water.

I wouldn't mind traveling Amtrack though. Let someone else do the driving and I can just relax. Its not cheap though but when you consider how much gas is...it just might be.

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi writer - yes it does make things run so much more smoothly. I have notebooks everywhere - one for the car, purse, counter:) drives everyone crazy! But I am the one that can be counted on to have packed a little of everything. I love sample size stuff too - I can take more junk that really isn't necessary! Haha!

Frog - I always say you are the smartest frog I know. I actually thought about making a chart and plotting the hotel stops and costs along with food to walk to LA - but I thought that might make a whole hub on it's own! I am anal about planning and I have been as long as I can remember. My mom still has the plan I wrote when I was about 17. It had all my goals and at age 30 I said, "just go ahead and kill me because I'll be old!" haha! She showed it to me when I turned 30:)

Marellen - I do think Itmis because it can contain nitroglycerin and terroroists could make a bomb out of it. Sad too because it isn't the first time I have heard of someone making a toy into a bomb. Amtrak is pretty nice really! I was surprised at Joe comfortable it is for a huge train. Smooth ride too - there were a few jolts but rare. Gas is high plus wear, tear and miles on a vehicle makemit pretty expensive if it's far from home to drive. Like you pointed out too - it's great to relax and read or play games or sleep until you get to your destination, it was only 36 dollars for a round trip ticket for an adult from St. Louis to Chicago! You should check into it!

Thanks everyone for the great and fun comments!

Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA


YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE NUT! Just saying . . . we can always count on you for giggles and outright laughs!

Once, I took a bus ride from Ohio to Atlantic City. I forget, think it was something like 13 hours or so one way. My legs and feet have never been the same! It was horrible. Every time the bus stopped for a break, every passenger walked off like they had "doo doo" in their pants. Next time I went to Atlantic City I flew and was there in 45 minutes. But that wasn't fun either because the flight was SO short, I had terrible ear and sinus problems for a month after the trip. I would love to try a long train ride some time. And if you ever buy a big enough vehicle, I'm sure some of your HP friends would gladly attend Car Church. And I honestly don't know all the U.S. capital cities. It's time I learn, don't cha think?


Chatkath profile image

Chatkath 5 years ago from California

Good timing RHW, time for trip! Very entertaining - and a good laugh is always nice too! Adorable hub! Rated up and funny and useful :-)

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I absolutely loved this article... with the exception of Amtrack... I have traveled by just about everyway possible.

Plane - well, I was in the military, so we almost always flew... with the exception of when we were in Colorado Springs. Colorado Springs was located only 20 hours from my parent's house and 15 hours from Eli's house. Then, if we had the time we occasionally drove.

Bus - This was the only way to travel in high school. Not getting back and forth to high school (well, not preferred anyway) because as soon as I got my liscense I drove. But, I was in the band and choir so between the two, I rode the bus to Colorado, to Florida and New York... and yeah and Michigan, but that doesn't really count cause it was so close!

Automobile - I like traveling by automobile. There is nothing better than a good old fashioned road trip. I think it is the only time my husband and I have serious talks... you know... about stuff like the end of the world, if magic exists, do you think Aliens really landed on our planet and take on costumes to trick us like Men in Black... the important stuff. We took a road trip in April from California to Wisconsin. It was a long drive with 3 kids, but it saved us from renting a car when we got there. With a family of 5, there is no one that can come pick us up from the airport. Not only did it save us the cost of the 5 airplane tickets, but a rental car is ridicoulously expensive.

Walking - well, since we only have one vehicle and my husband is at work today. I walked to the store. Uphill both ways in 100 degree heat. I should have took a break and got a damn ice cream cone.

But, more importantly, this hub was awesome! YOu really show your spy side and your wit just shines. So, if I am ever in the neighborhood, I will stop by and pick you up. Unfortunately, the car only seats 5 so you will have to fight the kids for who gets to ride in the trunk. I will even bring some genuine snowglobes for you as well! ;)

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Sharyn - thank you SO much! I will consider that a high compliment! lol I took a bus to Ohio - my friend moved there to live with her cool older sister! She called after she had gotten her drivers license revoked and needed me to drive her car back to St. Louis after the party was over:) So I took a Greyhound to Ohio - we went to some crazy bar - called the Silver Spur! haha! Then I drove her car all the way home the next day. OMG! Thanks Sharyn I had forgotten all about that - good times! I don't have the capitals memorized anymore either! But it's okay - the girls don't know I always get to hold all the cards with the answers!

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Chatkath! Thank you so much! I really just want to have some fun:) lol I am so glad you enjoyed it! I hope all your trips are excellent!

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

BBG - LMAO - I knew you were the traveling kind:) I have used all modes - depending upon the circumstances but even as a young girl - I traveled alone and it was always a great adventure! I took my first trip alone when I was 12 - ! I took a Greyhound bus from Arkansas to Missouri. It took like 8 hours and I had to change busses in Springfield. I am astounded my parents allowed that but I was very resourceful and I did a great job looking back. I had a layover for a few hours in Springfield - I took myself shopping! haha!

You totally should take the kids for a train trip sometime - I know you wuold LOVE it and the kids think it is really exciting! There is a snack car - and they don't have to wear seatbelts. My kids also loved being able to walk around and from car to car.

Bus - is my least favorite but it's cheap and will get ya there! There are more freaks - I am not gonna pretend but at least there is plenty of interesting things to see. I would advise anyone going by bus to take a small can of air freshener or perfumed body spray because you can't exactly leave the room - ever. haha!

Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

When kids are part of the equation -- planning is a must. I even had an itinerary for DisneyWorld with the best restrooms and snack counters designated. Glad to see Austin is one of your destinations -- and reasonable too. Give me a little notice, and I'll meet you there!

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sally! Oh you are right! I think that is a terrific idea - knowing where the restrooms are is a lot more important that it seems - snack counters too. I was glad I put extra snacks in our bags for our train trip recently - one of my kids didn't like anything in the snack car and five hours is a long time if a child is hungry.

I will let you know - that would be so awesome and fun! I love Texas - and I am planning to meet another hubber there too! How fun is that? I am so jealous of all you Texans - my heart breaks because it won't rain enough there. I never wanted to leave - but my family is here. I have convinced Dave we should move there after retirement though:) I am planning to be there in April and I can't wait!

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

My dad worked for the Santa Fe RR for most of his life, so we had passes to go anywhere it went. Went to California twice on those passes. Would've had to pay for sleeper compartments, tho, so we slept in our seats. Not bad really. Will never forget eating in the dining car with white tablecloths and napkins and the waiters in starched white jackets. Very Orient Express!

Feel free to "steal" the 3-ring binder Trip Book! I came across one in a box the other day and looking through it brought back fond memories of whatever trip it was for! MapQuest made it so easy to print out a list of every single town on the way as well as detailed maps of a particular area. Probably a good thing Google Earth didn't exist then, or I would've included street views too!

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Wait - no seatbelts on the train. I will definately not take them then... I need something to restrain them on a long trip otherwise I am bound to go nuts! LOL ;)

BTW - the bus wasn't too bad. But then again, I wasn't surrounded my strangers either. Oh yeah, and I was much more limber than I am currently. I could handle it. Now I get sore from sitting in a 3 hour plane ride... Do you think my rear has lost its cushioning? Oh wait - simple solution... I have a booty pop now. Amazing! No more butt pain from long trips! :)

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Jama - that is pretty cool. I bet your dad loved that job! I would have asked to go somewhere every weekend:) I also would not have minded sleeping in the seat just to go. When I was younger - I could sleep any time any where.

I already told the girls (who are 10 & 11) about the binder idea and they are pretty psyched! They each love scrapbooking too - so they want to make it really fancy:)

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

BBG - yeah - your kids are a little young still but there were kids Max's age on the train. It was kind of weird - the dad talked to the kid like he was an adult. He kept talking to the kid and saying, "Jesus Christ son!" Dave and I were like, what?????????? Then the mom and dad were making out loudly behind us - smootching and the dad was like, "aaaahhhhhhhh give me a kiss baby!" So you know I couldn't resist! I grabbed Dave's cheeks and exclaimed - obnoxiously loud,"ahhhhh give mamma a kiss daddy!" LOL He was laughing and like, "shhhh!"

Dang - I coulda taken the booty pop on the train! Plus - maybe it would have added a little cusion for sitting on the benches and stylish to booty! haha!

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

RH, maybe you'll do a hub about how your daughters' Trip Book turns out?

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Trip books! Whoa, you could start a new trend! Scrapbooking for road tripe! Too cool.

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

What have I started?????????????????? lol!

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Not "road tripe" Cheese and Rice. I meant to say road TRIPS!

Jama, you have created a monster! hahahaha

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

I dunno... Road TRIPE has a certain cachet... ;D

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Real - there is always a reason to have the booty pop with you! Butt cushioning and fashion are just the beginning. In a pinch, as long as you aren't currently wearing them, you can stash them in your purse as you walk down a dark alley and use it on anybody that looks suspicious. Those butt enhancers will whack them out with ease.

And thanks for the smoochy smooch story about the people on the train... you just made me puke a little... lol

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Jama - Tripe has a certain sachet, that's for sure.

Barbergirl - I know! I almost had a lumpy belch too!

drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

This was hysterical - also brilliant, Kelly, One of your very best. So snow globes are terrorist ammunition? Who knew? I'm still laughing at 'crossing over to the other side,' seeing a 'suspicious baby' and dozens of other clever bon mots. You ARE the woman!

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

RH, I credited you and this hub as the inspiration for a hub on how to make a trip book: http://hubpages.com/travel/Trip-Books-and-How-To-M...

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

RH, I used to do this planning stuff and always figured in my time at 50 dollars an hour. Now days I don't do commercial travel and wish the duffel bag with a thumb out during the Vietnam era as well as earlier wars, would resurface as I traveled many miles on a thumb and good story line. I've been every where I want and too many animals to leave for more than 10 days. I'd sure think, I'd like a round trip train route with a berth to just ride some where and get back on and come back.

Interesting read, I do have flight plans to eternity though, see you there, dust

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Jama - I thin it's a great idea too! You have gotten everyone "on board" with the idea! Lol.

Austin - you just crack me up! I had to tell the smootchy story! I suffered - now I'm sharing all that love! Haha!

BBG - well if I made you puke a little - that's power! Lmao! I'll take that as a giant compliment! Haha!

Drbj - hi! And thank you so much! I worked on this one for a week - and I wanted to finish it - I was tired and slap happy so I guess I should write more when I'm too tired to think too much! Haha!

50 - yeah I think that way about coupon clipping. Some people think they save so much money doing that in extreme - I figure how many hours they spend doing it is counterproductive and a loss of time and money:). Dusty - I bet you do have it all worked out - eternally!

The animals - yes I understand that too. I have to have my sister stay at my house the entire time I'm gone - I don't think she would do it for 10 days either! Haha! I often wish I really had a nice magic carpet!

invitationwrite profile image

invitationwrite 5 years ago

Very entertaining - and a good laugh is always nice too! Adorable hub!

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Thanks for the back link, RH! Hey, maybe we should join forces and become travel agents! Ha ha. Just kidding. Been there, done that. My days of performing travel miracles for anyone but myself or family members (or really, really good friends) are over. ;D

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

invitationwrite - thank you so much! Getting a laugh out of my hub is the ultimate compliment!

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Jama - funny you say that - I really did want to be a travel agent! The truth is we probably have both worked plenty of our lives away so now it's time to just plan our own trips:) My parents take 8 vacations every year - they are in Italy right now - that is how I want to live when I really retire:)

epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..well you are such a wonderful, lovely, witty and charming tour guide that I must post this landmark hub which showcases your unique and engaging writing ability, to my Facebook page with a direct link back here - my goodness me - more people gotta see and read this - hubbravo to you from lake erie time 10:39am

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Epi! You just made my day - and Ive been having some tough ones lately - bless your heart!!!

epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..well there is always 'tomorrow' - and you go great with java too!

lake erie time 11:55am

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Epi - you are so right! This is one of the times when I want time to pass quickly so distance will soften the memory!

HrtsMakeFamilies profile image

HrtsMakeFamilies 5 years ago from Independence, Kentucky

Snow Globe Bandit.. I didn't know those were illegal to bring on a plane. I am an avid snow globe buyer for other people so I will have to think of that next time.

When I was 18, I took a Greyhound from Cincinnati to Washington DC, it was a blast back then but today I'd probably have been murdered.

Great hub. I need to get more organized for traveling.

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Hrts - I love snow globes:) I would pack them very carefully in my checked luggage. I had conditioner expolde due to heat before so....hope snow globes are less volitile! lol

Thanks so much for the read and comments!!

Healthy Fat Guy profile image

Healthy Fat Guy 4 years ago from Cincinnati, OH

"A RealHousewife gone rogue."

I think that says it all. You're totally rogue, love it!

Thanks for the laugh :)


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