Jenny Jones (Jeny Jones)

I can't change the world by myself, but at least I can be a good example for it. Humour and Happiness are my forte; no, I'm not some new aged hippie who believes I can solve the world's problems by ritualistically running naked toward the sun as it rises in the morning, chirping with the birds as I do so, but a positive attitude toward pretty much...everything...gets me through my life (cue eyeball roll and lip purse in 3...2..)...

Seriously, ask any of my friends and they will proclaim that if the Zombie Apocalypse were to happen tomorrow, I would be the first to welcome our new undead friends, and probably lay out a nice spread for them. Another acquaintance would tell you that if I were to spontaneously explode, confetti would fly everywhere. Hey! As long as the Zombies are happy.

You gotta understand something, I'm a child of the 70's, and back then, doctors had no idea what ADHD was; they all thought I was just an incorrigible, perpetually happy and hyper brat-child with the attention span of a piece of toast. They had seen better heads on beer, and with...squirrel!

I'm the product of a mixed marriage--my mother is a woman, and my father isn't. Even more so, my mother is from New York, and my father is a gentleman from Virginia...which makes me a Southern Yankee...who lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Albuquerque. New Mexico. Yes, it's a real city, in a real state; grab a map, locate the vast wasteland between Arizona and Texas--that's New Mexico. So, feel free to stop telling me that I speak English so well! You don't need a passport, and you can even drink the water, we encourage it. Also, we put methamphetamine on the map, and that is nothing to sniff at (Breaking Bad is an amazing show, but we're known for our green chile, right? Right?!?).

I've been writing stories since I was kneehigh to a grasshopper--poetry to stories that make 'Fifty Shades of Grey' look like a Dr. Seuss bedtime story, and makes Harry Potter look like the bumbling Wizard of Oz. Why haven't I published? Well, it appears that Random House, Bantam Books, or any other big name book publishers see dollar signs before they see talent, and my attempts at Pulitzer winning, best selling material wouldn't bring home the bacon, even if it was on sale. Now, I can pay them to publish my stuff, but if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't be eating Ramen noodles with ketchup, trying to pass it off as spaghetti; sometimes I'm extrodinarily lucky and I can afford Spam! Yum! Meatballs!

Writing is my passion, and I always told myself (and others) that I would love to be a writer, to just sit in front of a computer, develope characters, bring them to life, and play GOD! But, life called (as well as the bill collectors from American Express), and I never had the time to just sit and...write.

Then I got fired from my job. There's no excuse, now, just one less damn to give.

So that's me, in a goofy nutshell. There's a lot more to tell of my forty-one year sojourn through life, so quickly (deep breath):I am a military brat who grew up in New Mexico then moved to Colorado and then joined the Navy who got an honorable discharge who then went to college and then realised I didn't have the attention span to graduate with anything more than a Bachelors so I got work in the airlines and stayed there for sixteen years before getting fired and now I am on HubPages hoping to bring laughter and joy to the world (exhale).

And, that is me.

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