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Ten Reasons Why Dogs are Better than People or Things

Updated on March 29, 2010

Dogs are Best

Dogs are far superior to humans and many objects. This article is a short summary of some of the many reasons why this is true.

1. Dogs make better pillows than actual pillows

One dog is equal, in width, to one and a half traditional pillows. That is the exact amount of support your head and neck need for a peaceful night’s sleep. Add in some soft, comforting shagginess and rhythmic breathing/heartbeat, and my God! You have the perfect pillow.

The only downside is that sometimes your “pillow” will get up and walk away, or ask to be let outside so it can relieve itself. A traditional pillow can be substituted in a pinch, but is not recommended for long-term use.

2. Dogs love you no matter what, even if you are a serial killer

Although I don’t encourage you to kill more than one person, you can rest assured that, if you do, your dog would still love you.

3. Dogs let you touch them

Unlike moose, hippos, and velociraptors, dogs love to be rubbed and snuggled with. Dogs enjoy affection, and make you feel all warm and gooey inside

4. Dogs never lie

If you look like crap, your dog will tell you. At the very least, he won’t say “oh, you look wonderful,” even though you are wearing a leopard-print muumuu and a green feather boa to your only daughter’s wedding.

5. Dogs don’t ask you to buy them stuff

Dogs don’t ask for much more than food and a warm place to sleep. Dogs will never ask you for an IPhone, a Nintendo Wii, or a college education. 

6. Dogs will lick your face for free

This should not be overlooked. Dogs are probably nature’s second most giving creatures, after horses. Why horses do not complain about people sitting on them all the time, asking to be carried all over the place, I will never know. Unlike horses, dogs will not let you ride them, but they will lick your face and love you unconditionally. If a horse and a dog had a baby, it would be the best pet ever.

7. Dogs will never ask to borrow your stuff and then not return it

Dogs don’t even want your stuff, except maybe to chew on or tear into little, tiny pieces.

 

 

8. A dog will never say “I hate this show. Can we watch something else?”

Unlike some people I’ve met, dogs love to watch whatever you’re watching. You like “Dancing with the Stars?” What a coincidence, your dog loves that show, too! Dogs will never ask you to watch the Home and Garden Channel or “Judge Joe Brown.”

9. Dogs don’t tell long, boring stories about nothing at all

Dogs hardly ever tell stories. Most dog stories go like this: “Bark, bark!” No wasted words. Now you have more time to spend doing valuable activities, such as dumpster diving and/or collecting stool samples.

10. Dogs look really funny in people's clothing

Everyone knows this already, but it’s worth repeating: Dogs + people’s clothing = instant entertainment.

Conclusion

Even though dogs are much better than you, anyone you know, or anything you have (besides other dogs), there is no need to be jealous. Although you will never be as great as a dog, you can still spend time with them and try to learn their ways. Dogs are humble, but they are willing to teach if you pay attention.

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    • AdamGee profile imageAUTHOR

      AdamGee 

      8 years ago

      Thanks, MyValentine :) Dogs = awesome.

    • MyValentine profile image

      MyValentine 

      8 years ago

      Great points and cute videos! I love my dog :)

    • AdamGee profile imageAUTHOR

      AdamGee 

      8 years ago

      Thanks for commenting, MPG! Sassie sounds like a great dog :)

    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Marie Giunta 

      8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      I adore dogs and Sassie (my gorgeous dog) keeps me company all the time. Love reading about dogs, thanks Adam.

    • AdamGee profile imageAUTHOR

      AdamGee 

      8 years ago

      I think I'd have to agree with your brother :) Thanks, Nell!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      8 years ago from England

      Ahhhhhh!! I always knew they were better than humans! My brother won't have it any other way! If he was asked, do you want to live with dogs or humans, dogs would win all the time! cheers for a great hub. Nell

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