Dogs: What They Are Really Thinking
Note to HubPages editors: Just want you to know that I have not given-up on one day writing a socio-important piece that is viewed by classic neo-journalists and authors in 2015 as "one of his best," in the words that I gave them. Just wrote this for your benefit. Thank you. Kenneth
Today's offering is all about dogs. Not the secret lives of wannabe politicians. Not how fabled Jimi Hendrix wrote his songs. And certainly not why most female sales clerks in those stores on Fifth Avenue, New York are so good at shunning people such as myself--even with handfuls of cash in plain sight.
Just kidding. But these sophisticated salesgirls, yeah, I said girls, so sue me. They do shun people who have "that" middle class look about them. Not the Harvard grad look. I used to apologize for this "look" in my life. Not anymore.
This hub is entitled . . .
Dogs: What They Are Really Thinking
and with this one piece, I hope to put the argument to rest that dogs do not have thoughts similar to human beings. They do. I have seen this phenomenal event in-person.
But wouldn't you really like to know their "actual" thought processes when they are angry, happy, and in deep thought?
You are in luck today. So without anymore jibber-jabber, here is a historical hub about what dogs think about. I do hope you enjoy it and start viewing dogs differently after you read this.
What Dogs Are Thinking When They Are Happy:
- Oh, boy! My owner brought me a pack of Snickers instead of those stinking bones. I will "act" happier than usual and lick both his hands.
- Eureka! I found out from my pal, "Dumpy," that if I look as if I am grinning, I will get to sleep inside the house, not on that smelly floor mat my owner threw in the carport for me.
- Alright! Both my owner and his wife are leaving for the weekend. Can you say P-A-R-T-Y? Now to get one the gang to bring a six-pack of Alpo.
- Thank you, dear postman, for having fat legs.
- Can I howl? You just wait until you have a trying day and right about midnight listen to my howls that will curdle your blood.
What Dogs Are Thinking When They Are Angry:
- Stay back or I will go all hiking my leg on you.
- Hey, cat! Do you value your place in this family? If you do, you better srart being like "sleeping like a log."
- Darn dry food. Who do I have to bark at to get some moist canned food?
- Why on earth do you want me to go for walk with you? Are you afraid of bullies?
- Go outside to "answer nature's call?" You kidding me? On this carpet is fine with me!
What Dogs Are Thinking About When They Are in Deep-Thought:
- If I can escape tonight, I will have 10, maybe 14 good years left of my life. And no more stupid leash.
- My owners call this dump a dog house? Rats have mor self-respect than to be seen in here.
- Maybe if me and the family cat can work out a deal, "I" can get into the house and listen to rap music with the cat.
- Hey, those guys on the garbage truck are okay guys. I might hitch a ride with them into town Saturday night.
- Oh, gosh! There he is. My stupid owner wanting me to run like a fool and bring back that rotten stick.
What Dogs Are Thinking When They Are Playful:
- I was thinking, sweetie. Your female owner takes you for a walk every Sunday, so I was wondering if I might get to walk with you?
- Hey, we do not harm that old guy down the street when we growl at him. We are just paying him back for running us out of his yard a month ago.
- Well, what do you know. I see a kid's birthday party outside across the way. Maybe I could go to into "attack mode" and get out with some cake and some juicy burgers.
- Being a family dog is fine, but sometimes when I see a pretty female dog, how I'd love to be John Travolta.
- I know the perfect way to drive my owner nuts. I will lay here and stare at him and not move a muscle.
I say in closing, "How well do you know your dog?"