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Dreaming of Owning a Gorilla Named Tony
I love, with a passion
gorilla's. I am totally-honest. I love how they walk, look, act and think. Not that I am into evolution, but gorilla's favor us, the members of a world-wide society. And that is not taking a stance for Charles Darwin in any way.
With that being said, I sometimes catch myself sitting alone in my living room, or in the car waiting for my wife to do our grocery shopping, just dreaming of owing a gorilla named Tony. Plain and simple. A no-frills dream, because gorilla's are a no-frills animal. I like that.
Gorilla's need no parades, glitter or air horns announcing their arrival or departure. Gorilla's stand on their own two, or four feet. I love their strength and courage to fit into or not fit into situations that we so-called civilized "people" put in their way.
I can name at least five
reasons why "we" should love and appreciate gorilla's.
- Gorilla's are fluffy and fun to groom
- Gorilla's are highly-intelligent and one day, they can play chess with us
- Gorilla's are deep-thinkers
- Gorilla's take care of their own, so it would be best to leave gorilla's be unless you are accepted by them
- Gorilla's do not harm people unless they are harmed by people
It's tough for me
to sit here and write this story without crying out loud as if I were an infant. Seeing this "still," of the most-famous gorilla, King Kong, tears me up emotionally as he was captured in his own territory, shipped to America (like a slave) and used for mankind's greed and amusement.
I ask you, without being funny, how would you or I, like this treatment? Let me answer that for myself. I would hate it with a fiery-passion. And yet, when Kong reacted with fear and anger, the circus owners called in the Air Force to shoot him from the top of the Empire State Building. Nowhere in the film did it show him harming the blond bombshell of an actress, Faye Raye. But yet, humans always call for blood when fear possesses them.
I suppose that when I viewed King Kong, the film, for the first time, a deep love for gorilla's came into my life and I wouldn't change that for love or money.
Please allow me to be blunt. I am for you, all gorilla's of our world. I am for you and "in your corner," even if the entire world should turn into money-worshipping idiots. I am for all gorilla's no matter if they live in the Amazon or in a dark section of Columbus, Mijssissippi. All gorilla's belong to a circle of animalkind with respect for property and life--maybe as an example for us of society to pattern after.
These are the things I would like to do to show the world that I am a fan of gorilla's . . .
- Organize peaceful demonstrations against zoo's and movie companies that would use and abuse gorilla's for man's greed or entertainment.
- Go on talk shows national and local to tell how I came to love gorilla's and be ready for social scorn and mockery.
- Write pro-gorilla editorials and publish them in major newspapers on and offline.
- Hire professional singer, Harry Nillsson, who recorded, "The Puppy Song," to write and sing "The Gorilla Song," and have it played on most radio statons. NOTE: if you haven't heard "The Puppy Song," listen to it on YouTube and in the place of "puppy" and "friend," in the lyrics, you can insert "gorilla," and you will understand how and why I love gorilla's.
- Take my buddy, Tony, the gorilla, with me wherever I go as I practice what I preach by taking him everywhere with me and staying out of places that say, "no gorilla's allowed."
Besides being intelligent
gorilla's are very astute and able to make sense of the senseless things that boggle the minds of us humans. I think by now you are beginning to see why I want to own a gorilla named Tony.
Why the name, Tony? Well, to be blunt, why not the name Tony? There are scads of people, famous and non-famous, who are named Tony.
- Tony Bennet, singer "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
- Tony Curtis, actor
- Tony, the Tiger, iconic spokes-tiger for Kellogg's Frosted Flakes
- Tony "Smoke" Stewart, Sprint Cup driver
- Tony Cantrell, a high school buddy of mine
just to name a few.
I wouldn't do anything to change Tony. Except feed him when he was a baby, but I would let him grow as a gorilla and valuable member of my life. I think Tony would love that.
Oh, I can just see the two of us now--sitting in my living room munching microwave popcorn, grapes, and cantaloupe as we watch "Blue Bloods," or Tony's personal favorite, "Animal Planet." Two living things in total-paradise, at peace with each other and the things we see, touch and feel.
Sometimes I think that Tony would love for me to take us to the city park that is only a few minutes from my house. I am sure that he would want to play on the equipment that is there for human kids to play on and have fun. After all, swinging and jumping are part of Tony's DNA. And whom am I to rob him of those priceless DNA building blocks.
Tony would quickly make friends with the humble children and if there be any miseducated kids who love to make fun of gorilla's, one growl from Tony and they are history--running to their mom's telling about how a gorilla growled at them.
Well, this is not the smart alec kids's day for the mom has had it with their lies and quickly punishes them for this transgression as Tony and I just laugh to ourselves and continue to let life take us to new places of discovery and adventure.
Yes, I would be such a happy 60-something year old man to have a best friend named, Tony, the gorilla.
This is the sickest thing
I will ever see. King Kong, the early movie poster making a fool and laughing stock out of a giant gorilla. Hey, this giant gorilla didn't ask to be born as a giant. He was perfectly-happy just being huge and enjoying his life in the jungle.
I give you my word. If I am ever to own a gorilla named Tony, you will never see him (or me) on any skyscraper rooftop fighting off jets as they fire air-to-air missiles at us. No sir. Tony is to be a well-rounded, balanced, fun-loving ahd super-intelligent gorilla if I have my way.
And in the years to come, Tony may be aught to
- Sing and play the piano just as good as Harry Connick, Jr.
- Drive an automobile and even get a driver's license thanks to my senator friend, Roger Bedford, State Senator, District 17, of Alabama. Look this up. Bedford is real.
- Sit out in the yard and wave at people walking by on their evening exercise ritual.
- Tell funny jokes in grunts and growls. Tony to talk like humans might take a few more years to accomplish.
- Babysit for young mom's in my hometown who are forced to get a job to help their young husband's who have no money-sense and have gotten them deep into debt by purchasing bass boats, expensive stereo systems and boots they do not need.
- Play with my great grandkids as my grandkids watch in amazement. My youngest granddaughter, Annabeth might say, "pawpaw, you never let us play with (a) Tony, the gorilla."
- Cook just like a human.
I say all of this to say this: Gorilla's are smart enough and have such a mental retention that I think they can be taught to do most anything except talking.
Yes, Tony and I have had a great day. We played, learned, went to the city park, sat and waved at passersby, and Tony even cooked us a gourmet meal: Coconut pizza with real coconut for Tony.
Yes, this was the longest day of our lives.