How to Care for Pet Rocks
Pet rocks make the perfect pets for those of us who want a pet but don't want to the trouble and expense of caring for one.
The wonderful thing about pet rocks is that they are inexpensive to buy, and cost absolutely nothing to keep and take care of.
There are no outlays for food, as they do not eat, nor drink, nor ever get ill and so there are no vets fees to worry about.
There are some important aspects worth taking note of, if considering ownership of a pet rock or two, and these are outlined below.
Learning how to take care of pet rocks, or even a solitary pet rock, is very important if you are to raise a happy stone that will be quite content in your company.
Buy a pet rock
Respect your pet rock
This is the first and foremost rule when it comes to pet rocks.
You must respect your elders, and rocks are so old it is hard to imagine what life on Earth was like when they were born.
Depending on where you are in the world, and the type of rock you have chosen, your rock could be anywhere between 100,000 and 4.5 billion years old.
Tough as old boots, it is unlikely to break if you drop it, but your pet rock is as old as the hills, and for this reason alone, you can be assured that your rock, having already survived earthquakes, floods, droughts, dinosaurs etc., should not be disrespected by you throwing it at someone.
It will also be very displeased if you use it to break someone's greenhouse glass, or use it for any anti-social purpose.
Pet rocks are not any different to the pebbles and stones you may find in the garden pathway, or at the seaside, or in a river, but you must not tell them this.
Pet rocks have inflated egos which are easily fractured.
Modern day society has cynically elevated them to the level of a consumerist society where they have become nothing more than marketing products, and that is disrespectful too.
The only time you should buy a pet rock is if you are buying an unusual gift for someone else.
For yourself, choose a pet rock from those around you.
Pet rocks have a homing instinct
This is very important to know.
If you take your pet rock out of the house, it will pine until it is returned. Rocks likes familiar places.
You can prove this to yourself, if you want to find out.
- Open your bedroom window, or any other window in your home.
- Leave the house with the rock in your pocket.
- Attempt to return said rock through the window opening.
- Take aim and throw it.
You will find that even if you miss, the rock will still return to your home, even through the glass. This shows how strong their homing instinct is.
Pet rock Poll
Have you got, or ever had, a pet rock
Pet rock bedding
Rocks like their comfort, just as much as you and I.
Think about it, in the wild they are cushioned by dirt, earth, other rocks or water.
Do not simply place your rocks in a shoe box, with a lid. Even with air-holes for added comfort, rocks like to be able to see the world around them.
Instead, place your stone in an elevated situation where their views are maximised. Near a window is ideal to let them see out.
It is a good idea to place each pet rock on a bed of soft putty or plasticine for added comfort. They will prefer this to cotton wool, which can obstruct their vision.
Pet rocks like to be near people, so if you leave the room, take your rock with you.
Pet Rock Food
Contrary to popular belief, pet rocks do not require nourishment.
This is ideal, as I have never seen rock food for sale in any shop or online.
Nor does it require water, except to bathe in.
Pet rock bathing
Rocks love a good wash, and a splash and tumble in the water.
Not only does it keep them clean and remove dust and other debris, bathing makes them feel good, just as it does for you or I.
There is nothing nicer than relaxing in a warm swimming pool, or feeling the cool, salty seawater on our skin.
In order to keep your pet rock safe:
- Remember, rocks cannot swim so do not take them into the sea.
- Rocks can block drainage outlets, so do not take them into a swimming pool, with or without you.
Instead, treat your stone to a bath in a basin in the sink, at least once a week.
It will not drown, even although it sinks to the bottom. The important thing is to make sure that you do not lose it down the sink when you pour the water away.
Also, do not bathe your rock with the dishes, as it is likely to damage porcelain and glassware.
Care of your Pet Rock
If you look after your pet rock, you will find that it will reward you with years of fun.
Pet rocks cannot die unless run over by a 10 ton truck, or crushed in a rock crusher. Yes there are such machines, but fortunately not too many around.
Rocks are quite frightened of rock crushers.
Rocks if crushed return to sand, which in time will build into rocks again, but that will be many hundreds of thousands of years from now.
If your rock gets crushed, it really is bye-bye for you as it will not be fixed in your lifetime.
Pet rock security - find your stone among others
Security is really important for your pet rock, especially if it looks the same as any other stone.
Just imagine losing it, after you have bonded with it. It would be devastating, because no-one would recognise your rock to return it to you.
It is strongly recommended that you mark your rock so that you will know it again.
The easiest way to do this is with an invisible marker pen.
With one of these pens, you can write your zip or postal code on the rock itself. It will not wash off.
Then you can easily detect your rock among others, simply by shining an ultraviolet light on it.
If other people find your rock, they will be able to return it to you.
Pet rocks love security and the knowledge that someone cares enough to add their zip code so that they may be returned safely.
Your personal security with a pet rock
It is really important to know that the only comparison it is possible to make between a pet Rottweiler and a pet rock, is that both words start with the letter 'R'.
If you or your home needs security, buy a Rottweiler or similar. A guard dog of some kind. Maybe even a guard cat, if there is such a thing.
Do not expect your pet rock to be of any use whatsoever if threats are made towards you.
That said, it is important for you to remember that an intruder could use your rock against you, assuming it is quite big.
While it is true that you could use your rock against someone else, it should not be your weapon of choice. [see above: Respect your pet rock]
Better still, take you pet rock to bed with you at night. Place it on the night-stand beside you, where it is within your reach but outwith the reach of unexpected intruders.
Rocks are not designed as guard-pets. They do not have the necessary aggression to frighten someone off.
Location of where pet rocks can be found
the north pole is at the top of the world, but is just shown here as an example. Edit: note that the world is not flat.
the south pole is on the exact opposite side of the world from the north pole. We live in the area in between, and rocks are to be found everywhere.
Do pet rocks get lonely?
Without a doubt pet rocks can and do get lonely If left alone for long periods.
They love nothing better than a trip out, with you. You can place it in your pocket or bag, but remember to take it out now and then to let it see the world around us.
They say an only child is a lonely child, and rocks are no different.
By far the best companion for your pet rock is another rock, for when you are not there, of course.
Then you can have a collection of pet rocks to take care of, to hold, love and cherish.