I was responding to a comment in my Armageddon hub the other day and it bought to mind an incident that happened a few years after the Armageddon dream. This was written in one of my journals and I thought I would share it with you.
One cool autumn morning, one of my older sisters woke me from my peaceful slumber. She asked if I could baby-sit or so I thought, in my semi emergence from sleep. It didn’t dawn on me that she did not have a baby! I also forgot that I was meant to be working that day. Half asleep and still rising from the depths of my dream state, I agreed. Then proceeded to fall back to sleep. Only to be woken a few minutes later by weak little cries for mercy resounding in my ear.
I was up in an instant ready to tend to a little baby. Or so I thought. Staring at me was my older sister with concern in her eyes and a forced smile. She was cuddling a cute little kitty that could hardly have been a few days old. I found out that he was actually around three weeks old.
From what she told me, the kitty’s mother had abandoned her litter. It seems she had not been feeding them. For how long the mother cat wasn't feeding them, she did not know. Two other kittens from the litter had died, two were fighting fit and then there was the one she was holding ever so gently in her palms. My sister had made several attempts prior to coming to my house to place the kitty on the mother cat to feed. But the mother cat was not having any part of feeding and started growling and biting and clawing.
Musing over what seemed to be an unnatural act for a mother cat we wondered whether the maternal instincts leave after a certain amount of litters bought into our world. Mother cat had already had 7 litters. So perhaps that was why? We left our musing to concentrate on sweet kitty.
Together we desperately tried to gently hand feed the kitty. The poor little kitty had no energy to hold up his wee head. He had no energy to lap or suck anything we offered. We went to the vets and found they had a little kitten’s bottle, which we used to try and feed kitty. We tried many times, to no avail. Eventually nature had its way and the beautiful little kitty died, lying on my older Sisters chest.
For a while he struggled in uncomfortable pain trying to survive. Then he appeared to surrender and lay peacefully on my sisters’ chest. As we watched his breathing slow down he sighed one last very large sigh and was gone. I had only known the beautiful little kitty for a few hours yet in that short time he became a part of me. I along with my sister felt the loss. We wept for our loss.
We felt the loss of the physical presence yet we were not aware of the transformation process occurring as we wept.
Since then, many experiences have shed more light and carved away some of the layers that cloak our awareness in illusion. Tuning into the transformation process has become a lot easier with time and practice.
Although loss of various kinds is still felt, when they occur, the power of loss loses its grip. It is now more of a nudge to be present.
Being present in the now is the most valuable lesson I have learned from loss both great and small both physically and emotionally. Being present awakens us to many processes we would otherwise be unaware of. Being present requires the inner and outer to “be” here and now.