ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Pets and Animals»
  • Animal Care & Safety

Make a "Green" Dog Poop Scoop With Old Junk Mail

Updated on July 17, 2011

Well... this is awkward...

I hate to say it, but I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how to get rid of dog poop in a "green," eco-friendly sort of way that does not involve excessive plastic bags. There aren't many affordable alternatives, sadly. The few that there are don't especially appeal to me.

  • Biodegradable bags are one option. However, and this is huge to me, plastic may break down but never disappears. It simply turns into tiny pieces that float around in the water supply, act like estrogen, and can't easily be removed. Then the fish ingest it, they become feminized, and they can't reproduce. So even if it breaks down in your compost or your toilet, the bag is not exactly harmless; it's just not visible to you anymore. If you send it to the landfill, don't kid yourself. It will remain there for hundreds, if not, thousands of years. Landfills are anaerobic, and even banana peels don't decay.
  • Poop scoopers are another alternative. Let's face it: these are the best alternative. They are, however, cumbersome, stinky, and not practical on walks. I remember a cloud of flies attentively following ours.
  • Corn-based bags are a good choice, but they take a lot of energy and resources to make, and they are expensive. Plus, they get gooey if it takes too long to get them into a trash can.

So what's left? Enter my highly-patented, very super-ergonomic and aerodynamic, mean, green, dog-poop-scooping junk mail machine! Oh... and it's cheap.

Junk Mail. I get lots of it.

First step: Divide it in 5.

First, take your large piece of junk mail (a magazine or half a cereal box work well, too) and divide it into five as shown. The parts should be relatively equal, and should go up and down the short way. I drew the lines in with a pen below so you can see what I mean if my words don't really make sense.

Fold it.

Next, fold it so it makes a sort of claw with a backward-facing lip. As I realize this makes no sense, I have included a side-view image below.

For a good time, run with this claw after people .

Line it.

Next, get some sort of liner for your claw. The most eco-friendly would be toilet paper because you can then flush everything when you get in. If you're in a park, a single sheet of newspaper or typing paper or junk mail or a fast food napkin would work adequately, too. I used a fast food napkin.

Open the "claw" and put the liner in it. Again, see image.

Fast food napkins put to good use!

Oh No! A Tragic Cherry-Related Accident!

To avoid grossness factor of poop images, I will be using these delicious-looking dark red cherries instead. Isn't that pleasant?

Oh, look! Someone dropped cherries in the middle of my table. Good thing I have... THE CLAW!

Cherry-Related Accident!

Flip the CLAW!

Flip your claw over the... ummm.... cherries. Make sure it is open and you are holding on to the liner. Close the claw over the delicious produce.

CLAW the cherries!

Now everything's all cleaned up.

Flip the claw over. All the fun stuff should be inside it, away from your hand and in the liner. Fold the edges of the liner over to keep everything away from your hands. You can then use the claw lips as a handle to make a little holder until you can dispose of the poop (it looks just like a little paper poop-holding purse!).

All done.

Disposal.

There are several ways to dispose of this now. It's up to you to figure out which is best for your situation.

  • If you lined with toilet paper, you can flush the poop and paper and recycle your claw.
  • If you are somewhere that it is ok to do this, don't use a liner, throw the poop off the trail into the deep grass or bushes, and fold the claw up to recycle later. Obviously, if the poop was runny, this is not the greatest idea and it will be gross.
  • If you have to dump the poop in a trash can, use as little of a liner as possible. One piece of newspaper or a paper towel is adequate. Fold up the claw and recycle it later.
  • Throw the liner and the poop in the compost heap and recycle the claw. Please note that some home compost heaps do not do well with dog poop because the compost is not warm enough to degrade it.

Reasons why this is awesome:

  • You don't have to get that squishy-poop-in-your-hand feeling you would get from a bag.
  • If you plan this correctly, there is no waste.
  • People will be confused by your cute paper purse and they will not realize you are carrying poop. You can even say, "Hey, hold this for a second!" and they won't be any the wiser.
  • You could do this with mail that ticks you off. Think of it as revenge.
  • No one else will have thought of it yet, and if you pretend it was your idea, everyone will think you are super cool. Really.
  • It's kinda like origami, except for dog poop.

Thank you for visiting.

I hope this Hub was helpful. I have not found too many other cheap alternatives online (maybe because no one else wants to write epics about dog poop), so I hope this will be of help. Please let me know if you have other viable solutions.

(Disclaimer: I will not accept any comments hawking various commercial dog-poop clean-up items. Please only send your home-made ideas.)

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • MoRita profile image
      Author

      MoRita 6 years ago from IL

      Thanks for the comments. :0) Hyph, sorry about ruining the cherries for you!

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      This is a great idea. I also love to see items recycled. Although I may have lost my love for cherries now, it was worth the loss to learn from your very interesting Hub. Regards, Hyph.

    • profile image

      Memories1932 6 years ago

      Excellent and informative hub. I will definitely have to give this a try. It would be great for the environment if everyone who has a dog used this method instead of using plastic bags. Take care.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)