ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Pets and Animals»
  • Dogs & Dog Breeds

Miss Maddie, Boxador, Queen of the Mixed Breeds: How Do I Live Without Her?

Updated on January 4, 2015

Many of you have read my original hub on my Boxador, Maddie. She was a special angel given to our family from God. Unfortunately, God has allowed her to be taken from us, for whatever reason, and I am really struggling to deal with the pain and loss of losing her. Unbeknownst to us when we bought her, Boxers are very susceptible to cancer and a couple of months ago we thought she had a spider bite on her jaw. She was put on antibiotics but they didn't seem to help so we had a biopsy and cytology done on her and discovered that she had a rapidly growing form of cancer on her jaw and in her tissue and lymph nodes. She was eating and drinking normally and didn't seem to be in any pain until December when her jaw began to look really nasty, weep and bleed. She began having trouble eating and that was a bad sign for her because she never once in her life ever stopped eating, no matter how bad she felt. She started to lose weight and wasn't running around the yard like she normally did. We refused to let her suffer so we had to have her put down by her original Vet on December 21, 2014. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life and I don't seem to be able to get over it. I am struggling through every day and haven't gone a single day since then without crying, no matter how hard I try not to, I see her everywhere and in everything. I am hoping that sharing this hub with you, it will help in my grieving and help me to be able to move on by taking little steps, without my baby girl. And maybe, this will help others who have lost a huge part of their life, knowing they are not alone in the grief, pain and loss of their precious canine angel.

Miss Maddie Jibbs
Miss Maddie Jibbs | Source
Maddie and Jordy before Prom
Maddie and Jordy before Prom | Source
Maddie opening Christmas presents
Maddie opening Christmas presents | Source
Maddie being patient and annoyed
Maddie being patient and annoyed | Source

Miss Maddie, Boxador – Queen of the Mixed Breeds: How Do I Live Without Her?

How do you say goodbye to your constant companion for over 10 years, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? How do you go on without her? How do you forget the happy greetings at the door with a shoe, a weight, a toy, in her mouth and an uncontrollable wagging tail? How do you forget her wanting to be with you wherever you went, following you into every room and patiently waiting for you to scratch her ears, kiss her face, pet and love her? How do you forget watching her run around your yard, chasing frogs and turtles in the pond and swimming after the geese and ducks? How do you forget her patiently waiting until it was time to feed the chickens and ducks so that she could playfully chase them around the yard, ears flopping, tail wagging and eyes bright with orneriness? How do you forget how she cuddled up against you under your blanket just to be close to you when you were sleeping or to get warm and warm you? How do you forget playing fetch-hide-and-seek with her and chasing you all over the house searching and finding you in your hiding spot? How do you forget when she sensed you hurting and laid her head on you to show you it was all right? How do you forget sitting on the floor after an exhausting day and she just waiting for you so that she could get up and sit down next to you, leaning against you to comfort you? How do you forget the daily walks on nice days and running around the yard after sticks and soccer balls? How do you forget sharing everything you ate with her, saving her part of your meals when you went out? How do you forget your talks with her throughout the day when everyone else had gone to work or school? How do you forget all the vacations you went on with her, refusing to go on any without her and only finding places that would take dogs? How do you forget looking into those big brown angel eyes knowing you were unconditionally loved? How do you forget how much she loved Christmas and would peak into all the bags looking for her stocking stuffers and presents and then how much she loved opening her gifts on Christmas morning? How do you forget how she would stand between you and who you might be arguing with to tell the other person to back off and to pay attention to her instead? How do you forget the comfort she gave you after a horrible day by her just being there? How do you forget taking the time to sit with her in the sun on a cool day, one of her favorite things to do? How do you forget how she barked to notify you of a neighbor crying for help? How do you forget her crazy barking at the UPS, oil man or FedEx guy? How do you forget how much she hated snakes and wasn’t afraid to tear them apart? How do you forget how much she loved licking your bowls after baking cakes or whipping cream and how she hated peas so much she would gobble up everything else on the plate and leave the peas? How do you forget how excited she she became when Daddy came home from work and the boys came home from school? How do you forget how much her jibs flapped in the wind and how much she loved to put her head out of the window while driving in the car? How do you forget how she knew when we were getting close to Grammy’s house by how excited she became at the same place every trip there? How do you forget how she sensed the feelings of others when they were sad and laid her head on them to show them comfort? How do you forget her hating to have her picture taken or happily rolling around on her back on the floor or chasing squirrels out of the bird feeder or off the porch? How do you forget how she would grab her bone and chew on it just to be around us when we returned home from an outing or how she would put her head in all the grocery bags looking for new doggie cookies, toys or bones when I got home from the store because she knew I couldn’t go to the store without visiting the doggie aisle for new cookies? How do you forget all the family holidays with her and long rides in the car across the country 37 times? How do you forget how she followed you downstairs every time you did laundry because her food bin was kept there and she knew you would give her a few kibble every time? How do you forget how she cocked her head while watching you refill her daily food bucket every time a scoop was put in patiently waiting for a few kibble to fall on the floor? How do you forget her standing over you and looking down at your face when you laid on the floor and her face was all wrinkly and funny? How do you forget the days, hours, minutes and seconds spent just being together, knowing she was there - the companionship, friendship, loyalty and love?

Never mind forgetting.

How do you live with the loneliness? How do you live with the silence? How do you live without her? How do you go on when your joy is gone? How do you live with a broken heart, an empty house, a vacant couch, a quiet yard, no ears to rub, no jibs to kiss, no precious Missy Jibbs to hug? How do you go on when your angel is gone? God Help Me, how do I live without her?

Maddie Moo
Maddie Moo | Source

If there is anyone who knows how to help me deal with my aching heart, besides getting another dog, I would love to hear from you. I just cannot get another dog. There will never be another Maddie and I could not bring myself to love another dog, just to have it taken away again. I could not stand the pain.

Miss Maddie with her Uncle Max on vacation in the OBX
Miss Maddie with her Uncle Max on vacation in the OBX | Source
Maddie Moo at Christmas
Maddie Moo at Christmas | Source
Maddie just being her cute self
Maddie just being her cute self | Source


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • sallieannluvslife profile image

      sallieannluvslife 3 years ago from Eastern Shore

      Thank you so much for your comments, Jodah. I really appreciate you sharing with me.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Sallieann,

      It is so sad when a cherished pet dies, no less heart breaking than if a person close to you dies. I grew up in a family that always had pets so unfortunately I have seen many dogs and cats come and go. It is always sad and can be traumatic to lose a friend you have shared your ife with for many years. You can never forget. The common response is "Get another dog," but as you say no other will take her place. However this is not bad advice as it gives you another pet to care for something to occupy yourself. It will never take Maddie's place but you will soon form a new attachment.

      We have four dogs, a staffy x kelpie, two toy poodles, and a pomeranian. All of them are around nine years old now, so it won't be long before we have to grieve like you are oer the loss of a trusted friend. I do not look forward to it and hope we don't have to have any put down. In the past most have just quietly gone away to die, or been tragically killed.

      I can't help you sorry, but I hope it helped you to write this hub and express your sadness. Voted up. Take care.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)