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Thoughts from My Cat

Updated on September 20, 2015

Do you have to let your offspring drag me all over the house and continuously try to hold me like a baby? I have some dignity, you know?

I assume anytime anyone heads to the pantry, it is to get cat treats for me.

What is wrong with attacking everyone when they go up and down the stairs? I think it would be pretty funny if someone fell.

Do you really have to dress me up for Halloween?

I want to go outside. Why won’t you let me go outside? You are so mean!

Why can’t I get in the dryer after a batch of towels has been dried? They are so warm and fluffy.

How many different nicknames do you have for me? Mr. Fluffy Pants? Doma? Doma Llama? (I am not even a llama.) My Strong Handsome Kitty? My name is Domino. Just Domino.

Why can’t I get in the dishwasher and lick all of the food off the dirty dishes?

Why do you keep putting these colored nail covers on my manly claws? I only made that sofa look better. And speaking of the nail covers, why have they been coming in glittered colors lately?

I wake up at 4am everyday. Therefore I will meow as loud as I can in every bedroom of the house so someone will get up with me.

Sometimes I meow loudly when I have to go to the restroom. I just want a little company.

You don’t need all of these useless things atop the kitchen cabinets. I can easily knock them all down for you.

When you call me, I purposely will ignore you.

I am not a pillow for your offspring.

I don’t care at all when you fuss at me. I will simply stare at you like you are stupid.

The straws are my favorite toys. Why does your small child have to stuff them down into the air conditioner vents?

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