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Training a Dog Does not Mean Beating It

Updated on June 4, 2013

A "Rescue" Dog

A "rescue" dog is nervous: ears back and excessively thin.
A "rescue" dog is nervous: ears back and excessively thin. | Source

Selecting a Dog for My Children

I love dogs and wanted a nice one for my growing children aged 2 and 6-years old at the time I refer. However, I was inexperienced with caring for a dog, since I had never had one growing up. Still, I wanted my children to have the joy of a dog and wanted a four-legged canine companion myself.

My ex had a lot of experience with poodles, since his parents reared and then paired the animals to make additional money. We decided against a pure-bred poodle, however, because they can become jittery and high-strung if inbred too much. So, my husband at the time and I selected a poodle-cocker spaniel (cockapoo) mix for my children from a nearby shelter.

We called the dog, "Lucky" as he had been named, so he would not get confused with a new name. We knew he had experienced stress when separated from a family with a large number of dogs. Lucky's prior family had felt overwhelmed by caring for such a huge canine family and had given him up for his and their benefit.

The kind people at the Denver Humane Society told us what they knew about Lucky's previous history.

My Previous Experience with Animals

Throughout my growing up years, I always wished for a dog. Mom nixed this because of severe allergies to animals, particularly cats. My mother was not trying to be mean, however while growing up, cats were in Grandma's house constantly, causing Mom’s severe feline allergies to flare up.

As the oldest of six kids and two working parents, Mom was in charge of her other siblings, perhaps an unenviable situation. She did gain a lot of experience with children, but also a huge responsibility!

In my desire for a pet, at one time, I suggested getting a pet snake to Mom, but she found that idea totally unacceptable!

My father’s concept of dogs was that they are outside animals. In several of my other hubs, I wrote about him growing up on a farm. Dogs, like the livestock on the farm, stayed outside, except for extenuating circumstances.

In Albuquerque, where I grew up, he believed the back yard in our small home was too little area for a dog. The dogs there on the farm were large and slept outside, mostly, or under outside stairs or make-shift shelters. These dogs were rarely permitted inside and certainly kitchen/washroom only.

So, what I am saying is that my previous experience with dogs was nil! But I had always wanted a canine companion!

Getting Used to Lucky

I found Lucky an outdoor dog house of the appropriate size, so he could stay out there while my ex and I were at work (unless it was too cold). Lucky was permitted in the house, but never allowed on the carpeting, since he had a problem urinating. My ex and I still had a baby gate to prevent him from leaving the linoleum and hardwood kitchen and laundry room into the carpeted area.

When he first came home, he cried in the non-carpeted area. I used my favorite banana seat chair to rock him until he calmed down. It was May and soon warming up. My ex padded the outdoor doghouse so he could stay warm on chilly nights, complete with an old towel for a "door". When we left the house, he stayed outside during the summer, but had plenty of shade on the porch or his house. Water was essential at all times.

Lucky generously allowed birds and squirrels eat his food. Summer was warm and Lucky became more comfortable in his new home.

As winter approached and it became too cool, he stayed in the un-carpeted area of the house with a dog bed. During the winter, we let him out to do his duty regularly and he used his dog bed outdoors. As Lucky was prone to nervous urination, we never permitted him to leave the linoleum and hardwood area that made up the kitchen, dining room and laundry room of our home.

Seasons with Lucky

As winter encroached, Lucky stayed in the linoleum and hardwood area with the help of the child-gate and regular trips in the backyard to relieve himself.

But come summer, Lucky the "outside" dog became bored in the dog house and found great enjoyment tearing up the grass in the backyard. This annoyed my ex-husband to no end! The backyard was my ex-husband's domain; I struggled to keep up with all the laundry, etc.

Anyway, ex-husband decided to discipline Lucky by smacking him in the nose. Lucky would whimper, but I as inexperienced in raising a dog did not do enough. I shouted at ex to leave Lucky alone, send him to his dog house. (I was always punished by being sent to my room as a child.)

Howsoever, a neighbor witnessed this or these incidences and called out Animal Control or perhaps the ASPCA. They banged on the door as I did laundry and demanded to know who the man was in the backyard beating on Lucky's nose.

I took them through the house to the backyard, where ex and Lucky were still there. I exited so I could take care of the children, etc. I obtainined some dog-training books and videos.

Ex was extremely mad at being reported for animal cruelty and wanted to know which neighbor called him in. "Which [horrible] neighbor turned him in" (presumably for causes unjust) went on for months on end.

Afterward, Lucky was treated humanely, as ex did not want a legal charge against him. I did learn a lesson. My sense of responsibility toward Lucky was correct. All animals and humans deserve to be treated humanely.

I was later turned out by ex without clothing, cookware, pre-marital property, etc, and found out where his heart was. More in later hubs on this. My pain and disbelief in the justice system continues. Ironically, ex began going to church after our 17 year marriage ended. This man's values seem exceedingly flawed!

Certainly, both people and animals need protection, which we all pay for in taxes. For people, justice lingers a long time through an inefficient court system. Copious dollars are paid to greedy lawyers. For dogs, you had better be cute and well behaved to be adopted from the animal shelters. For people, you had better be prepared to stand up in court and state your case clearly with well-documented dates and events.


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    • Laura in Denver profile image

      Laura Deibel 6 years ago from Aurora

      Dogs are reflections of their masters. Sure, they try to get away with naughty behaviour. Mostly they like to be friends, some frisker than others.

      I agree. A man treating a dog badly will also treat family badly.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

      Hi, we have had dogs all our lives, even when I was small we always had one or the other running about. if the dog was naughty it always tended to know and hang its tail down. giving it a good telling off was enough, and then a cuddle about ten minutes later to know it was still loved, they soon learn that way, I am sorry to hear that your ex treated you badly too, I always say if a man treats an animal badly, then he's not worth having, nell

    • Laura in Denver profile image

      Laura Deibel 6 years ago from Aurora

      Dogs follow by example. Cosistency is very important. Thanks!

    • profile image

      SanXuary 6 years ago

      It does not require beating at all only a leash and a few rules. Once you leash train a dog you have its attention and you can teach it anything. I once trained a year old untrained Husky in an hour. In one hour it attempted everything and when I was done it even knew how to sit on command. That tells you how smart some dogs are and how fast they can learn.

    • Laura in Denver profile image

      Laura Deibel 6 years ago from Aurora

      I confess inexperience, but always complained to ex when he rubbed Lucky's nose in the dirt and smacked Lucky.

    • Abadab998 profile image

      Abadab998 6 years ago

      i agree, a dog shouldnt be smacked just because they dont understand, they should simply be put in their bed and not be allowed out, they will learn, you just need patience.

    • Laura in Denver profile image

      Laura Deibel 6 years ago from Aurora

      hospitalera, I agree. Dogs need compasionate teaching. Good behavior should get lots of petting. Bad behaviour, withhold a treat?

      Selection of the right dog for the situation is also critical. Thank you!

    • Laura in Denver profile image

      Laura Deibel 6 years ago from Aurora

      To RedElf, ex got quite a shock from the disapproving neighbors and subsequent talk with ASPCA.

    • hospitalera profile image

      hospitalera 6 years ago

      I also agree that "ex" is significant here, but I fail to see where any dog training has taken place also. A dog needs to learn what to do and when to do it, and when not. If you ever get a dog again I strongly suggest that you attend some good, positive re-enforcement based, dog training classes. In the end, it is more important to learn for the human how to train a dog then for the dog being trained during classes by the teachers.

    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 6 years ago from Canada

      Interesting the dog-beater is an "ex" - hopefully he has learned to stop beating dog's noses, among other things. Good lesson.


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