Welcome to: Horses versus Mules
The majestic horse runs like the wind
Horse and Mule fans, "it's on"
The ageless, and many times useless, debate, "Which Came First, the Chicken or The Egg?" has been argued by numerous people, smart and simple and never arriving at an answer that will satisfy everyone.
So has this argument, "Which Is Smarter, a Horse or a Mule?" And it is equally-pointless when debated by people of high-intellect or like me, just know enough to keep our heads out of the fire.
Horse? Mule? Personally, I couldn't care less which is smarter. I love both animals, but I lean toward the mule for they are seemingly more humble than a thoroughbred who wins races with the ease of walking from his stable to the track. And "some" winning horses act so superior to their "country cousins," the mules.
I am not trying to start a heated-argument. If you tell me that a horse is smarter and able to perform more tasks than a mule, fine. You won't read any disagreement from me. Or if you state that a mule has more sense than a horse, so be it. Again, no disagreement from me. I like a peaceful atmosphere too much to waste valuable breath on a subject that has no fulfilling end.
But just as an item of personal interest, I have complied a list of "10 Things That a Horse Cannot Do," and for fair-play, and equal time, a list of "10 Things That a Mule Cannot Do," so we can still take sides and not have any knock-down, drag-out brawls.
For our fans of the mule, here are my
"10 Things That a Horse Cannot Do,"
- Take night classes in order to become a notary public.
- Salsa dancing.
- Drive a motor vehicle.
- Mail a letter at the post office.
- Sing a lullaby to a baby.
- Do impressions of Jay Leno, Steve Martin and David Letterman.
- Fly first-class aboard American Airlines.
- Fly "coach" aboard American Airlines.
- Babysit your little nieces and nephews.
- Be a guest on a morning talk radio station.
"10 Things That a Mule Cannot Do"
- Eat with silverware.
- Play Santa at your yearly Christmas get-together.
- Write a story for HubPages.
- Make a graduation address at West Point.
- Meet with President Obama on personal business.
- Go shopping with your girlfriend.
- Throw out the first pitch at the 2012 World Series.
- Sing the National Anthem at the 2012 Super Bowl in Indianapolis.
- Appear as a guest on the Rachel Ray Show.
- Do a hilarious stand-up comedy routine at the Improv in New York City.
Now, here are "5 Things That a Horse Can Do"
- Run like the wind.
- Eat like a horse.
- Neigh as a way of laughing at you.
- Kick your butt for using spurs in his side.
- Pull a wagon if his friend, the mule, has called in sick.
And finally, "5 Things That a Mule Can Do"
- Act stubborn.
- Pull a plow or wagon.
- Never have the pressure of winning (any) Kentucky Derby.
- Always loved by area children.
- Sleep soundly for doing a good day's work.
"5 Places You Will Never See a Horse"
- The mall.
- In the men's room.
- Filling station.
- At the bar looking for girls.
- In a dusty field pulling a plow.
"5 Places You Will Never See a Mule"
- A disco.
- Used car lot.
- Doctor's waiting room.
- In Jay Leno's studio audience.
- On a track running his guts out to win for his greedy owner.
I think that I have made my point without a lot of "horsing around."
Until next time, "Giddy-up."