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What Your Cat Wishes It Could Tell You: A Cat Confessional

Updated on March 19, 2014
Your cat would like to speak with you.
Your cat would like to speak with you. | Source

Cat owners have discovered that their pets are actually pretty amazing creatures. They are intelligent, playful and loving. They are also very expressive, working hard to let us know exactly what they mean.

The only two things holding a cat back are its lack of thumbs and the inability to talk. But if your cat could talk, it would have a few things to tell you.

Here's a look at some of the annoying things your cat does and why, from its perspective, it's all your fault.

If your cat could talk, what would it say?

I Need You To Know That You Snore

I love snuggling up with you at night. You are so warm and soft and cuddly. But you snore terribly. Sometimes it gets to be too much and I poke you or walk across you to get you to stop. I feel like I need to check on you and make sure you are okay.

Really, you should get that checked out.

Your cat knows that you snore.
Your cat knows that you snore. | Source

My Litterbox Needs Cleaning

I really, really hate a dirty litter box. I would prefer if you could clean it out regularly. Would you want to be forced to walk around and go on top of previous bathroom deposits?

If you don't clean it out every day I will be forced to find other places to go to the bathroom.

Right beside the litter box, in your shoes or on that freshly folded pile of laundry are some of my favorite places.

It helps to remind you about what needs to be done.

I really hate a dirty litter box.
I really hate a dirty litter box. | Source

I Drink Out Of Your Cup....All The Time

You know that time you caught me drinking out of your cup and made a big fuss by throwing your drink out and getting a clean cup?

Yeah, well I do it all the time. You just happened to see me that time.

I really prefer a drink with lots of ice cubes as it makes a much more enjoyable drinking experience.

I like to drink what you're drinking.
I like to drink what you're drinking. | Source

I Get On the Counter As Soon As You Leave

Yes, I know the rules: No cats on the kitchen counter.

But what do you think I do the minute you leave the house? There's just so much to explore up there and I really like to walk around and rub on things to make sure everyone know that this part of the house is mind too.

As soon as I hear your key in the door I get down. What you don't know, won't hurt you.

I get on the counter as soon as you leave.
I get on the counter as soon as you leave. | Source

I've Sharpened My Claws In Places You Haven't Even Found Yet

I really hope I'm not around when you decide to move that nice headboard around. And really you don't need to look at the carpet behind the couch, do you?

I know I have that nice scratching post you got me but sometimes it's just too far to go and there's all these nice surfaces all over the house, just waiting for me.

Will you ever find all the places I've sharpened my claws?
Will you ever find all the places I've sharpened my claws? | Source

I Hid a Dead Critter Under Your Bed

Or in your closet. Or in the planter. I like to keep them in case I want to use it later for something but usually I just leave it there and forget about it.

Gee, I hope it was truly dead....

I might have hid some creatures under your bed.
I might have hid some creatures under your bed. | Source

I Eat Bugs

They are fun, tasty and crunchy. When I'm bored and I see a critter scurry across the floor I feel something deep inside me that makes me want to pounce and eat.

Of course I usually puke it up later, on your bed, but for the moment, it was tasty.

Cats like to eat bugs.
Cats like to eat bugs. | Source

I Puked On Your Shoes

Yeah, the ones that you put in the back of the closet thinking I wouldn't find them. Well I did when I was chasing that bug.

Then I ate the bug.

Then I puked.

But I'm not worried. You won't find it until you're ready to go out on your date Friday night.

Does your cat puke on your shoes?
Does your cat puke on your shoes? | Source

I'm a Jerk, But I Know You Love Me Anyway

Yes, I know that sometimes I'm a jerk. I knock things down on purpose and spill my food and play in the toilet water. I wake you up at 6 AM because I'm bored and have giant hairballs come up in front of your guests.

But when I jump up on your lap and bump my forehead against yours, I know you'll melt. I know you're mine!

Cats can be jerks but you love them anyway.
Cats can be jerks but you love them anyway. | Source

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    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      I love this! I have 3 cats, 2 of which do no-no's when I'm not looking. Or so, I think right? One of my cats does the head bump thing. It's so endearing. Another looks me in the eyes and has such an expressive face. I can almost hear her thoughts. Cats are awesome people; much better than husbands. :-)

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 4 years ago from Orange, Texas

      You nailed a cat on the head, alright! I have four, and they all have some or all of these attitudes. Gotta love a cat. This was very enjoyable.

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