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Best Pet Rock Breed

Updated on December 8, 2016
Even dogs are searching for the best breed of pet rock!
Even dogs are searching for the best breed of pet rock! | Source

What are the best breeds of pet rocks? This issue comes up a lot! Every time I see some kid trying to play in the sand I yell out “Get a rock!” (I worry that some of my neighbors do not understand.) Rocks are great because they don´t eat, much, and you won´t have long and unsatisfying arguments on the best diet for a pet rock. (Arguing about the best dog food diet is sort of like arguing about politics or religion. At least I know I am right.)

You also won´t have to worry about some over-educated greenie going on about composting your rock´s waste products. Most of the other benefits are obvious (low exercise requirements, no expensive day care or boarding required, no vaccinations or other ridiculously overpriced health care expenses) and best of all is that they are also easy to train and will keep you out of obedience classes!

Not all rocks are the same, however. Some rocks are easy to care for; some rocks will cause problems in your house from the day you bring them home. (Do you have any idea what it costs to build a wall safe to guard your pet rock?) Certain rocks will turn to dust before you know it; other rocks will still be around when your grandchildren are your age. Selecting a rock is an important duty and you should do plenty of research on the internet and not fall in love with the first rock you see.

So what are the best breeds of pet rock?

Selecting a giant breed may end up being a mistake.
Selecting a giant breed may end up being a mistake. | Source
If you really insist on getting a chalk pet rock they sell them with paper wrappings to decrease shedding--great for allergies!
If you really insist on getting a chalk pet rock they sell them with paper wrappings to decrease shedding--great for allergies! | Source

1. Chalk: Yes, this really is a rock. No, I do not recommend getting one. They tend to disintegrate if played with too much and if they get wet—well, don´t even go there. It is really sad.

2. Crystal : This rock has gained a lot of popularity with the new age types and owners become so attached that you can see them dangling around the neck or sitting on a desk in the office. It is kind of like having a diamond pet rock but a lot cheaper. The extremely frugal pet rock lover can even dig one up.

This pet rock is a great choice for those who are not able to handle the expenses of a diamond.
This pet rock is a great choice for those who are not able to handle the expenses of a diamond. | Source

3. Flint: This rock has a great history. It is so tough and breaks off so cleanly that it has been used since paleolithic times as a knife. Of course this has caused a lot of problems. This rock has a poor reputation because of its background and many communities have enacted legislation to ban the ownership of flint pet rocks. (It could be worse. Imagine you were an obsidian pet rock and branded with the BBR syndrome?)

4. Onyx: (Well, Mexican Onyx actually, but who cares?) These rocks are actually soft when they are dug out of the ground but are carved by humans in all sorts of great shapes. They are available in tourist traps all over the world and can be purchased in the shapes of turtles, rabbits, elephants, or eggs. This is a great breed of rock to own if you need to tell people you have a pet. “Yeah, I have a rabbit “; failing to mention it is a rock. When the person starts to talk about rabbit diseases or feeding requirements, just look bored and pretend to be thinking of something else. It works every time.

The flint is a great breed since it can fulfill so many tasks!
The flint is a great breed since it can fulfill so many tasks! | Source

5. Granite: This rock is common all over the world and makes a great companion. In fact according to the ARC (American Rock Club) this is the most commonly registered breed of rock in the US. There are several web sites out there that recommend that you modify your rock by attaching false hair or painting on artificial body parts. This practice is not sanctioned and can cause serious damage, both emotional and physical. PETeR (People for the Ethical Treatment of Rocks) has actually published an important paper on their position on this issue. Granite rocks look best when left natural.

6. Diamond: This is my personal favorite and really it is hard to imagine a better rock than a diamond. They are expensive but are tough and can beat all of the other rocks on the playground. If you do not want to admit that you are a pet rock person, you can have your diamond cut up and then have it mounted into a piece of jewelry.

Shopping for pet rocks is a pleasant pastime.
Shopping for pet rocks is a pleasant pastime. | Source

Do I recommend you find a perfect breed of rock? Of course, but I urge you to think outside the box! Pet rocks are available everywhere; although the six breeds listed here are great, there are others out there that need to find a home. The U.S., Mexico, and Brazil have some of the best rock collections and a special breed can be found for everyone. If you are having trouble deciding on the best pet rock visit a rock show and look at all of the varieties available.

Do not obtain your new rock from a back yard geologist or rock mill! Conditions there are hard to imagine. There are plenty of great rock rescue organizations; all it takes is a little effort on your part. You can also support your local rock shelter and adopt a beautiful rock that will make a great pet.

So go ahead. Find that great breed of rock today!

This is one of those rocks that looks like a turtle. Unfortunately it is larger than a house so it is not a good candidate for a pet.
This is one of those rocks that looks like a turtle. Unfortunately it is larger than a house so it is not a good candidate for a pet. | Source

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    • DrMark1961 profile image
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      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Sounds like the perfect pet. You must have purchased a granite.

    • hisandhers profile image

      hisandhers 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

      I was worried when I brought my rock home that it wouldn't get along with the other pets in the house but so far things are working out just fine. He's polite, doesn't steal food, and best of all, doesn't crowd the bed at night. In fact, he doesn't even come in the bed at all! What a perfect pet. :)

    • Bob Bamberg profile image

      Bob Bamberg 5 years ago from Southeastern Massachusetts

      Ah, yes...PETA; People Eating Tasty Animals. They had a rally on Boston Common a few years ago and one of their costumed mascots was a guy or gal in a red lobster costume. Of course, only BOILED lobsters are red. To quote Homer: D'OH

    • DrMark1961 profile image
      Author

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Maybe I could agree with some of those laws, MABI not. Rockslides can be a terrible thing and are usually related to foolish banning. Remember, it is the owner, not the breed! (I can barely keep my lunch down as I type another of those PETA slogans!)

    • Bob Bamberg profile image

      Bob Bamberg 5 years ago from Southeastern Massachusetts

      So far no cruelty laws for the rock in MA, and we do require them to be spayed or neutered while they're still pebbles. Legislation is being considered that would require vaccination against rockslide.

      Apparently it would only apply to large collections of rocks, such as rock gardens and rock walls.

      A stumbling block is the dilemma of what to do about the rock walls that were built by the colonists and that still dot the landscape.

      One faction says they haven't slid in nearly 300 years so we don't have to worry about them, but MABI, the Massachusetts Association of Building Inspectors (we call 'em maybe) says they're not up to code and need to be vaccinated with mortar. The legislature is a stone's throw away from voting on it.

    • DrMark1961 profile image
      Author

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Be careful if you pick up a stray rock out in the yard! You will not be sure about vaccination status and all that other stuff!!!

      Thanks for sharing. Have a great day out in the yard with your dogs!!!

    • wetnosedogs profile image

      wetnosedogs 5 years ago from Alabama

      What an amazing, fun hub! I am on vacation today and planned on raking leaves, trimming plants and now I have added looking for my own pet rock in the yard! I need to claim it before the dogs do.

      Sharing this.

    • DrMark1961 profile image
      Author

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      I got a good laugh out of that one. I am sure Bob can tell us about the laws pending in Massachusetts. Surely they are considering some sort of pet rock animal abuse laws! (Of course it wont be long before California follows--be careful.)

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 5 years ago from California

      Thanks I needed something light. I found the prettiest red rock with a vain of crystal running through it in my backyard the other day. My husband was curious about it, but let me keep it.

      One really nice things about pet rocks is you won't be arrested for abuse if you decide to throw it back in the garden. :)

    • DrMark1961 profile image
      Author

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Thats great. Sounds like a diamond (the lushes!).

      Have you ever been out west? Are you familiar with the rocks that move out in Death Valley? When you mentioned your pet rock running off I thought of them, but, as you mentioned, they are easy to catch.

    • Bob Bamberg profile image

      Bob Bamberg 5 years ago from Southeastern Massachusetts

      There was an article (a condensed version) about that very dilemma in The Geologist's Digest, The Sept. 2012 Humor Issue, that speculated that the rock fell over after too many "Chivas Regals on the rocks."

    • DrMark1961 profile image
      Author

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Thanks Bob! I worry about that BSL since I have adopted a new obsidian rock. He is really well trained but like most rocks lacks somewhat in the speed department!!! Of course he will outlive me too, but that issue deserves another hub. (Or another rainy day when I can´t get out of the house and walk my dog.)

      I enjoyed the photos you sent me. It got me to thinking: if a rock is out and the woods and falls over, does that mean it is in motion? Does that indicate intelligence????? Geologists everywhere want to know.

    • Bob Bamberg profile image

      Bob Bamberg 5 years ago from Southeastern Massachusetts

      My pet rock got out yesterday, but was pretty easy to catch. Most breeds are not known for their speed. Or their intelligence. A popular saying around here is: "He's as dumb as a box of rocks."

      Longevity is their thing. A quality pet rock breeder will require proof that you've made provisions in your will for your pet rock because it will outlive you.

      It won't be long before Breed Specific Legislation rears its ugly head and communities will ban the pet rock because of the damage it can do. There are no dangerous pet rocks, only careless, irresponsible owners.

      You're a great pet rock advocate, DrMark1961 and we salute you! Voted up, funny and interesting.

    • DrMark1961 profile image
      Author

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Thanks weestro! Did you see my awesome links capsule?Be sure to check out the hub about why dogs are better than cats!

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Great hub Dr Mark, good stuff! Voted up and awesome!