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25 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Children

Updated on April 6, 2011

You heard me right. Cats are better than children.  After years of dealing with both cats and children, I have come to the conclusion that cats are the more superior of the two. You don't believe me? I have proof!

My cats on the prowl.
My cats on the prowl.
My cat Motmot resting quietly.
My cat Motmot resting quietly.
My cat Layla goofing around.
My cat Layla goofing around.
My cat Jiggy relaxing in the sun.
My cat Jiggy relaxing in the sun.
  1. Cats don't sleep in their own pee and poo. My cats won't even step in their litter box if I forget to clean it.
  2. Cats don't keep harping you with stupid questions. They won't keep asking you "why?" at the most inconvenient times.
  3. Cats can keep themselves clean. You don't need to give them a bath every single day.
  4. Cats don't need round-the-clock attention. They are the low-maintenance members of the family.
  5. Cats don't whine. Thankfully! Whining is just so annoying.
  6. Cats don't talk incessantly. Children just never know when you need them to shut up.
  7. Cats don't cry at the top of their lungs to manipulate you. You won't need to have a soundproof booth installed in your home in order to keep your sanity.
  8. Cats don't complain. They are the masters of cool.
  9. Cats don't need to go to school. No tuition fees, no PTA meetings, no phone calls from the school principal telling you your cat got into trouble again.
  10. Cats sleep all day so you can have peace and quiet. Ahh... relaxation when you're home from work sounds like heaven.
  11. Cats don't require milk formulas. Your grocery bill won't give you a headache.
  12. Cats rid the house of pesky insects and mice. Now if only they could get rid of pesky children.
  13. Cats are quite capable of being on their own for the day. You don't need to hire a babysitter to watch them when you're out.
  14. Cat food doesn't need cooking or lengthy preparation times, so you can order Chinese food for yourself and pour out some kibbles for them.
  15. Cats rarely get sick. You won't have a head-spinning medical bill and so many absences from work each year tending to sick children.
  16. Cats play quietly. You don't have to remind them every single minute to keep the noise down.
  17. Cats don't sweat. Have you ever been in the same room as children who've been out playing in the sun? Ugh!
  18. Cats are born cute. Most newborn babies look like they could star in a horror flick.
  19. Cats won't ask you for money. Ding ding ding!
  20. Cats won't ask you if they can go see a concert of that rock band you're sure are worshipers of the devil.
  21. Cats won't smoke, drink or do drugs under peer pressure. Well, catnip doesn't count.
  22. Cats normally come when they are called.
  23. Cats are easier to train than most children.
  24. Cats can be spayed or neutered so you never have to worry about them getting pregnant or impregnating someone.
  25. If cats do get pregnant, you can sell their kids!


Now which do you think is better?

See results

Disclaimer

This article was written for the purpose of entertaining its readers. The opinions of the author expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Hubpages community and may not be used against the author in a court of law. :P

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    • profile image

      Sarah 2 years ago

      There are vet bills, premium food (cause my cats hate the cheap stuff), toys and boarding feed when you go away. Still costs me about $1000 a year!!!

      I chose cats over kids and men. Official crazy cat lady.

    • oldiesmusic profile image

      oldiesmusic 3 years ago from United States

      Certified cat lady here! You don't have to buy your cats new clothes or put them through college lol.

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Thanks. We were on typhoon signal #2 alert for two days and had to stay home, but thankfully the typhoon changed its course and didn't hit our city as forecasted. We're all fine. :)

    • frogyfish profile image

      frogyfish 4 years ago from Central United States of America

      Ah, this was cute...so tongue-in-cheek true too. Fun hub!

      I just heard on news about typhoon in south Philippines...hope you and your cats and family are not badly affected.

    • profile image

      Judith McGibney 5 years ago

      Love this article. Cats way better than kids. Kids are horrible annoying things best avoided at all costs.

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Thanks for the heads up, bgamall. I'll definitely have to check that ocd hub of yours. I'm always up for a few laughs. :)

    • bgamall profile image

      Gary Anderson 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Dogs are children, so you have a point.:) Did you notice my funny ocd hub? Since you have a little ocd I hope you stop by. I know that you were interested in my mice eating spark plug wires. :)

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Oh, I like that one epigramman! Hehe. :)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      actually there are 26 reasons: a cat knows that the 8 lives they have left will not be better than the life that you have given them in this one.

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Thanks, hglick. :) My cats are ready to bust into show business! :D

    • hglick profile image

      hglick 8 years ago from Ronkonkoma, NY

      Susan,

      Those are some wonderful cat poses !!

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      No problem, Feline Prophet. And yes, cat do rock! :D

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 8 years ago

      Sorry for the earlier blank comment Susan - sometimes HP won't let me post my pearls of wisdom! :P

      What I said was...cats rock indeed! :)

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Hahaha! :D Thanks, Frieda. If I were drinking Earl Grey right now, I'd be snorting it all over my keyboard too after reading your comment! Hehe. :D

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 8 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      Hahahahahaha! roflmao! Love this hub! I'm going to agree with all of the above. I love the video, I've got that on one of mine. Teresa, you've got to stop letting us know about your Earl Grey drinking habits. I become obsessed and have to make myself a cup every darn time! (She's probably not going to read this, is she lol). Great job, right down to the commentary. I think I'll go pet my cats and tell them how much I appreciate them. Then I'm going to hug my kids and tell them, "It's okay, Mama still loves you."

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Thanks, Aunty. Layla does look a bit like a queen with her "eyeliner". Hehe. :D

    • Aunty profile image

      Aunty 8 years ago from Scotland

      Very funny hub Susan and I love your photos! The one of Layla is soooo cute!

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Haha! Don't send me the bill for your keyboard, Teresa!  It wasn't my fault! Ahahahahaha! :D

      That's too bad, cindyvine, especially if you like cats. :O

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      am allergic to cats!

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      Beautiful cats. . . funny hub. But the video clip had me snorting Earl Grey Tea over the keyboard. . . thanks!

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Hehe... No matter how I look at it, tich, having children would only interfere with the many things that I want to do in life. :P  Besides, I already have three kids and they're cute just like their dada! :D

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      I had to laugh. You finally wrote this hub. I know...I know....you don't want to have kids LOL The cats are so cute. I love looking at them. Just LOOKING...(Chuckles)

    • usmanali81 profile image

      usmanali81 8 years ago

      Children need training, if they get trained then their will be no diffculty at all.

    • Susan Ng profile image
      Author

      Susan Ng Yu 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Haha! Thanks, Paraglider. :) Toddlers are very challenging at times, huh? They can push us to the brink of insanity. Hehe. :P

    • Paraglider profile image

      Dave McClure 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

      Hi Susan - That's a nice list. I've often had thoughts along these lines, especially during the toddler years! Layla's beautiful :)