Chester the Cat

Many people own cats. In the United States, around 1 in 3 households are home to at least one feline. While reading through this page, you will learn why, in fact, Chester is the best cat around. So, please, join me in praising him.

Weighing in at 17 pounds, Chester is currently just over 3 years old. We adopted him when he was around 6 months old. He's a handsome, chubby, dilute orange, domestic shorthair, with incredibly lovable eyes. The term "scaredy cat" most definitely was coined from one of Chester's ancestors. Seriously, if it were scientifically possible to pinpoint the moment "scaredy cat" was first used, travel back in time, and collect a DNA sample from the cat in mind, when it was compared to Chester some genius scientist would determine he/she was Chester's great-great-great-great grandparent (just pretend there were enough "greats" in there). At the very least there would be some similarities between the two of them.

My handsome boy has all of traits that come to mind when one thinks of a house cat: fur, a tail, a kitty-tongue, paws, 13 thoracic vertebrae (I'm assuming), ears, oh-so-lovable eyes, whiskers, and the normal number of toes. What I'm trying to get to here is that biologically, anatomically he is unremarkable. Very very handsome, but not peculiar in any way, aside from maybe an extra pound or two. We're working on that though.

1. Chester makes silly sounds. Is this a weird reason to love a cat? Chester doesn't just meow. Or purr. He does do those important things, but he also does silly little things that when I attempt to convert to text usually look somewhat like: "Mrrrrrrromple." He greats me with English words like: "Mrom!", "Hrello!", "Frood!". For some reason he likes to add Rs to everything.
2. Timid. He's timid... Like a cat. His trust is something that must be earned, so that no one takes it for granted. When Chester first joined us he lived behind the toilet until he knew we weren't going to cook him (although he'd be quite the feast!). When I first unlock the door when I get home, Chester isn't there waiting. He's hiding, making sure that whoever it is isn't there to murder him. Once he discovers who it is, THEN I get kitty kisses and kitty greetings. Those kisses and greetings aren't for anyone, that's how you know you're special.
3. You know that evil bunny kick that cat's do when you rub their tummy? They grab you with their front paws and kick and kick and kick with their back legs? Yeah, you know it. Chester DOESN'T do that. Ever. He's actually never done it. Not that he's not smart enough to... He just doesn't want to. When you rub Chester's tummy his only retaliation is kisses. Constant kisses. "Oh thank you for rubbing my tummy, I want to kiss you!"
4. He knows his name. And if nothing terrifying has happened in the last 3-4 hours, he'll come when you call him.
5. He just loves us so much. Whenever we're sitting on the couch, he has to be close to us. It's the cutest thing. I was recently crocheting a baby blanket, and Charlie, Chester's son, was over there the whole time trying to get into the yarn and being a cute little kitten. Chester, however, just wanted to snuggle. He was almost more of a hindrance! "Your hands are moving... Are they moving to pet me? They must be! Should I get in your lap so you can pet me?? YES YES YES! I'M DOING IT." It was adorable. He'd either just barrel in there, or he would do that sneak attack where they slowly inch towards you, like maybe you won't notice they're getting closer if the do it real slowly.
6. He drives himself around the carpet. I always have a hard time explaining this, and it seems like people who have kitties who do this also are the only people who understand how completely adorable it is! Chester loves having his tummy rubbed, so he is always kind of laying on his side/back so there is an opportunity for tummy rubs. This was cute in itself, but then he started to kind of drive himself around to follow us so we could rub his tummy. "Why didn't you pet me??" He pulls himself along the carpet after us. It's so so cute.
7. He's not very smart. I'm convinced this is a positive.

Seriously. I should have led with this reason.

Chester loves his blanket! Or at least he puts up with it. I wish I could read cat minds...

This is how Chester takes naps.

Any questions for Chester, or compliments, declarations of adoration, etc...?