Life With Devil Cat
He is One Cute Cat!
But looks can be decieving... I am the proud (?) owner of an absolutely rotten cat. Don't get me wrong, I love him and would never think of getting rid of him but he may be the devil himself. Read on for stories of destruction and trauma!
How and Why We Got a Devil Cat
Kittens are Always Fun
My husband and I had two cats, the older one since the very first day we moved in together. Her name was Nala and she was a bit bratty but a wonderful creature. Sadly a little over two years ago at the age of 13 we had to have her put down due to a rare form of cat cancer. We were both deeply traumatized and swore never to get anymore animals as the loss was too much to bear. What we didn't count on was the reaction of our remaining cat Pepper. He was so lonely it was unbearable; he followed us around the house incessantly crying and would even throw himself at the bathroom door if we managed to get it closed. The answer was obvious, Pepper needed a friend.
Luckily (?) the local mechanic had a batch of kittens and after waiting until my husband was gone for a few days, my mother-in-law and I ran over to pick one out. There were three adorable kittens in residence, two orange and one white. When I put my hand in the box to pet them the little orange ones shied away from me and the white one stood up and faced my hand and gave the tiniest little hiss.
Obviously I was in love!
Our household also contains a ridgeback cross, a mastiff and a pair of cockatiels, so I foolishly figured that the more attitude the new kitten came with, the better he would fare and be able to stand his own ground.
I had no idea what we were getting into.
My Favorite Cat Stuff - I ADORE these books, they are hilarious!
Introducing the New Cat
What to Expect?
When we first brought him hope (in the hopes of integrating him into the household before my husband came back and objected!) the first thing that happened was that the mastiff cornered him in the kitchen and promptly licked him until he was soggy.
Now I had a scared, damp and pissed off kitten.
Needless to say he hid for the next 12 hours.
Once I finally found him, I brought him into the bedroom to meet Pepper. I was a little concerned introducing them as Pepper has shown himself to be quite territorial in the past but my fears were for once, unfounded. Pepper immediately starting purring and grooming the kitten.
Voila! Integration was complete.
What is a Good Name for a Cat?
Hmmm...What Goes With Pepper?
I tried really hard to come up with a name for the little monster but eventually I conceded defeat and admitted that nothing goes better with Pepper than Salt. So he officially had a name, although he answers to many different things most of which I can't put here if I want to keep my "G" rating!
All was peaceful for a few weeks...both cats spent their days annoying the dogs and birds interspersed with grooming cuddling and playing.
And yes, that is the birdcage he's sitting on.
How Can a Cat Make Such a Mess?
And how we changed our habits to suit our little terror
Then apparently Salt decided to focus on mass destruction.
Step one was toilet paper. He would happily wait until our backs were turned and attack it with a ferocity seldom seen against inanimate objects. Roll after roll was spooled off the spindle, chewed and then spread throughout the upstairs of the house.
After toilet paper became blasÃ© Salt turned his focus to the garbage can. By this point I was wondering if I was imaging things. Cats don't do this sort of stuff, dogs do. Our mastiff was very easy to house train but spent a lot of time breaking the house. I thought I had seen it all. I finally resorted to treating him like a puppy and turned the can upside down over him to give him a fright.
This worked for about a minute and a half.
We finally resorted to keeping the bathroom door shut.
The next thing was tissues. He would stuff his little paws into the box and pull every last sheet out. Once they were freed he would set about shredding them. Okay, no more tissues in the house. We now blow our noses exclusively with toilet paper.
Salt's next big adventure was stealing. Everything. And unfortunately not just from us, houseguests were also fair game. You don't know funny until your cat brings you a pair of your guest's lacy panties.
At this point we were terrified to put anything down, as it would vanish. He stole everything from lipstick to nail clippers to car keys. (Seriously, I was late that day with the world's lamest sounding excuse) There was no end to the thievery and despite tearing apart the entire house I couldn't figure out where in the heck he was stashing everything. I even pulled out the deep freeze and washer and dryer. The only things I found were dust bunnies.
One day I came home to find nothing remaining on the corkboard in my home office. No paper and none of the approximately thirty pushpins.
I still haven't found them.
Peace. Sort Of.
all together now, a sigh of relief
Eventually (a year later) Salt slowed down his destructive side slightly and the entire household breathed a collective sigh of relief. About once a week something would be shredded but the frequency was low enough that we hardly even noticed.
Then he discovered that money is fun to eat. My husband often empties his pockets on his nightstand but he quickly learned that was a habit that must be changed. By now Salt was getting to be fairly expensive. There is apparently no end to what this cat is going to teach us.
Did I mention that he's supposed to be a short hair? I innocently thought it was just kitten fluff, but no, his hair is long and his tail is abnormally large. If he concentrates he's crossed eyed as well. The popular theory amongst those that have met him is that Salt is half fox. I know this is improbable if not impossible but it still makes an eerie amount of sense.
In any event, about a month ago he devoted his entire night to removing all the insoles from everyone's shoes. And again I was late for work with yet another lame excuse.
Giving Up On Bad Behaviour
also known as resignation
As the picture shows, he is lying on one of the dog's beds with one of the dog's bones
So far his destructive side has also ruined two power cords from our telephone, one from our portable harddrive plus one from someone else's portable harddrive. Apparently he is immune to electrocution. (If I'm wrong he has very few of his nine lives left.)
He has chewed shoe and bootlaces from five pairs of footwear and hidden quite a few objects that I would really like to find.
Salt has ruined about a hundred bucks in actual money, and countless costs in paper products including tissues and the paper out of the printer tray.
So I got my wish, a cat with attitude.
The moral of the story? Be careful what you wish for!
Coming soon, Salt's next adventure. The Great Outdoors!
Here's a link to the easy way to make $37 dollars over and over again Purple Drool
Also check out my articles on Ezine