Green Fog: What's Up With My Farting Dog?
My God, Was That The DOG?
So, I was struggling with a bout of writer's block, agonizing over my next subject, when suddenly it hit me out of not-so-thin air. Sometimes, ideas come from strange places.
Today, the inspiration (an emanation) came to me on the barely detectable breeze. From beneath my desk, it wafted up from the black ball of fur near my feet, curled my toes and then my nose, and the room took on a greenish hue. And immediately I knew:
Seriously, though, my beloved pooch ~~ the cutie-tootie you see here named Sassafras Tea (or Sassy for short) ~~ STINKS. I mean, not all the time, but, whew! It's been happening quite often lately.
And for a dog that's shared my bed for all of her thirteen years ~~ who likes to sleep with her tooshie towards my head ~~ well, this trend of producing prolific and potent amounts of what I call "green fog" is starting to become an issue.
So when I heard that funny little *pfffft* under the desk and then the product of the *pffft* reached my nose, I got up real quick and said, "Come on, Sass, let's go outside!" and rushed her to the door. She was all ready to play, but when I told her to go potty, she was like, what? She just stood there, looking at me, wagging.
Well, I left her out there to think about it for a bit while I did a little research on pooch flatulence, and I learned a thing or two. So allow me to share my new found intelligence with you ... along with dog fart reading material and products of course ... to hopefully help you rid your own home of such canine keester creations.
Canine Flatulence Explained
More than you probably ever wanted to know about dog farts....
I read that dogs fart more often when they age, when their intestines start losing their muscular tone. Hmpf. I beg to differ; my dog is still very toned! Although, I've never actually seen her intestines, so perhaps there's some truth to that after all.
And there are certain foods known to give dogs gas, like milk and other lactose products, raw vegetables, meat that's not fresh, and yesterday's leftovers, though different breeds can react ... well, differently. My Sassy is a mixed, mixed breed, meaning I'm quite sure she's the product of two very muttly mutts.
(By the way, that's not her heiny right there. Hers is still black and much smaller too.)
Sometimes dogs get flatulent just by eating too quickly, which causes them to swallow too much air. One way to avoid this is by using a wide feeding bowl and crushing the food so the dog ingests smaller amounts at a time. That sounds reasonable enough. I can do that.
There are also products that can can be added to dog food to reduce canine farting, but these should be used only after consulting your veterinarian. Activated charcoal is one of those products, which absorbs the gasses that cause flatulence. These tablets are sold over the counter in most pet stores, but the down side is that activated charcoal can also rob the dog's body of the nutrients it gets from the food, so it should be used sparingly~~no more than two or three days at a time. But I think I'll opt for not using that at all, actually.
Other Stinky Dog Solutions
That is, solutions for stinky dogs
Here are some other suggestions I came across in my research on how to eliminate, or at least reduce, dog farts:
- Try giving the dog more exercise. This might move things along, at least, while your dog is still outside. (And even if it doesn't reduce the farting, it'll be good for the dog, not to mention the owner.)
- Try adding a few tablespoons of plain yogurt to the dog food. (My dog's an occasional eater, meaning she doesn't gobble all her food at once, so yogurt in her dish would get yucky. That won't work.)
- Try eliminating soy from the dog's diet. (Soy? My dog doesn't eat tofu!)
- Try a better dog food, such as , that isn't made up of fillers. (Well, she is worth the money.) Ultra Adult Dog Food
- And if the better food doesn't do the trick, you can try , a digestive enzyme that helps older dogs digest food. Prozyme Pet Formula
Meet Walter, The Farting Dog
This is the first in a series of books that star Walter and his many flatulent adventures. They say these books are for children, but I see no reason why adults aren't allowed to giggle, too. After all, they're usually the ones who read the books aloud, along with all the requisite sound effects.
From Amazon: Walter, an apologetic-looking dog adopted from the pound, passes gas morning, noon, and night, no matter what he eats, whether it's a 25-pound bag of low-fart dog biscuits, cat food, or fried chicken. On the bright side, "If Uncle Irv let one slip, he just went and stood near Walter." ..
You Can Even Own A Farting Walter
Choose the 8-inch or 18-inch plush pooch. The smaller the dog, the smaller the toots. Just squeeze and you'll see.
And the bonus is: no green fog! Hence, no nose-curling.
Air Fresheners For The Flatulent Dog Owner - That is, the owner of the flatulent dog
That is, the owner of a flatulent dog.
Because no matter what you do, dogs are gonna fart. You can open doors and windows, but in the cold weather especially, sometimes you need a little cover-up. Here are some ideas...
A THONG For Farting Dogs?
I kid you not. Check out The Dogone on StrangeNewProducts.com. It's an activated charcoal cloth that traps odors from the passing wind.
My Gassy Sassy
© 2009 Deb Kingsbury