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The Funniest Dog Quotes

Updated on March 13, 2014

Of course they're funny, they're about dogs!

Dogs are family. Wet-nose kisses puts smiles on faces. Wagging tails brighten days. Big, puppy-dog eyes keep loneliness away. And, perhaps most important of all, poop scoop duty keeps you humans humble. So, of course, it's easy to find lots of quotes revolving around the hilarity of human-dog family relationships. Here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl." --Penny Ward Moser

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate." --Sigmund Freud

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard." --Dave Barry

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg

Dog toys that will make your pooch smile!

These fun and unique dog toys are sure to keep your dog entertained and happy.

  • Bubbletastic bacon-scented dog bubble machine. The Bubbletastic dog bubble machine is the ultimate dog toy for dogs who LOVE bubbles! This interactive dog toy blows tons of bacon-scented bubbles for your dog. The best bubble toy for dogs. Includes 8 ounces of bacon-scented bubbles for your dog.

  • Pet Qwerks Animal Sounds X-Tire Ball A durable chew toy that makes over 20 different animal sounds to keep your dog interested and playing longer. Dogs love this fun, interactive dog toy because they get to play with birds, dogs, cows, lions and a zooful of other animals too!

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -- Unknown

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." -- Unknown

To Get You Laughing...A Video Compilation of Funny Dogs!

Have Your Own Dog Quote? We'd love to hear it!

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