Marvelous Miss Piggy
Welcome to Marvelous Miss Piggy
This light-hearted lens is devoted to one of my favorite delightful dames who is always on her game, none other than a marvelous (or if you prefer marvellous) muppet named Miss Piggy!
She is perhaps best described as a sassy if not spunky sylph of substance if not a well-endowed winsome wench with a wicked sense of humor.
For those who appreciate comical come-backs, outrageous one-liners, and ripsnorting retorts, Miss Piggy's dulcet tones and memorable mirth will be music to your ears!
From the mouth of Miss Piggy:
"Pigs may fly, but they are very unlikely birds."
Miss Piggy wouldn't be caught dead using a flying carpet to go anywhere. - But she has to admit that being a "space cadet" has it's perks!
Image Credit: www.inkwellarthouse.com
What do you mean you've never heard of Miss Piggy? - Good God what planet do you come from anyway?
For the benefit of unenlightened folk from another planet, she is the seductive soul of feminine charm. But like all feisty farmyard females, she also has an uncanny knack for flying into a violent rage whenever she thinks she has been insulted or thwarted.
Kermit the Frog (the love of Miss Piggy's life) learned through experience, and the better part of valor that his role in life would be to stoically endure her karate chops and her passion for sending him flying through the air, if he knew what was good for him.
Not to put too fine a point on it but when she wasn't whomping him for good reason as she would say, Miss Piggy would often smother him in unwanted) kisses. Frankly, what more could a paramour or prince without a golden slipper ask for?
Miss Piggy's Favorite Expression:
Moi! Moi! and Moi!
Miss Piggy - A Princess With Personality - Damn Fine Diva and Goddess of Gadding About!
Q: How do hogs make it to the top?
A: I am a pig, and as a pig, I have always stood out.
Q: Who inspires you?
A: Listen honey, there is no one on the planet to compare with moi.
Q: What do you plan on doing when you retire?
A: I plan to write more books whenever I can find the appropriate writing attire and color-coordinated pen.
Q: So Miss Piggy, perhaps you could share your secret to mastering the lastest electronic gizmo that captures your fancy.
A: Technology, moi must admit, is not moi's cup of java.
Image Credit: www.welovecards.co.uk
Miss Piggy on Money, Men & Marriage
A: Many people think money is something to be set aside for a rainy day. But honestly, how much money do you really need for a dozen or so hours of inclement weather?
Q: What is your secret to success with the opposite sex?
A: Moi has always possessed a charm that is lethal to men.
Q: In the world of pitch and woo, how do you select the most appropriate suitor?
A: Well, as far as blind dates are concerned, moi does not discriminate.
Q: Do you have a favorite thing you love to do with your sweety-pie?
When you are in love with someone you want to be near him all the time, except when you are out buying things and charging them to him.
Q: Can you define the language of love?
A: Moi speaks body language fluently, although with a slight French accent.
Q: What should a girl accept as a token of affection on her first date?
A: There is only one gift you should accept on your first date - diamonds.
Q: If you could have anything in the world that you desire, what would it be?
This, you see, is my ultimate ambition - to live a simple life with the frog I love.
Miss Piggy On Life, Lost Love and Everything Else In Between
A: The early bird gets the worm - which is what he deserves.
Q: Miss Piggy do you think a thing of beauty is a joy forever?
A: Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
Q: In your experience with men, does absence make the heart grow fonder?
A: Only time can heal a broken heart just as only time can heal his arms and legs.
Q: What's your best travel advice to those who are taking a vacation for the first time in their lives?
A: Whenever possible, avoid airlines which have anyone's first name in their titles, like Bob's International Airline of Air Fred.
Q: Do you think travelling to the end of the world is a better thing than to arrive in a god-foresaken place at the beginning of the universe?
B: Frankly, you have to be going to a pretty awful place if getting there is half the fun.
Image Credit: www.photobucket.com - image by Schornforce
Miss Piggy on Fame and Fortune - Not to Mention Food and Fitness
A: Why yes, I am waiting for a really strong and meaningful female pig role.
Q: Would you ever consider a walk on part?
A: I don't do walk ons...I am a pig, and as a pig, I have always stood out.
Q: Have you ever had a look-alike stunt-person do the dangerous scenes?
A: All my scenes are my own. A double? Impossible! I am unique.
A: How would you compare yourself to the beauty of the Mona Lisa?
B: Well, there is the satisfaction of providing your public with a vision of true beautology, true sytlisity, - how can I put it? - true glamorositude.
Q: Are you in the running for any awards this year?
What are awards? Mere baubles, mere bagatelles, mere Brussel sprouts. I give no thought.
Q: Do you ever see yourself on the red carpet carrying a bit of bling and being praised for any outstanding cinematic achievement?
A: The Oscar - is that what they call it? - means nothing to me. After all, one does not labor to shape one's craft just for some tacky statuette that looks like a hood ornament from an old DeSoto.
Q: So Miss Piggy, what sort of advice can you give us about food and fitness?
A: Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy On Hair, Health, and History
A: Never wash your hair with anything you'd hesitate to eat or drink.
Q: Your hair has so much body, what do you do to it?
A: Moi's hair has natural curls. So does my tail.
Q: What's the best advice you have to stay slim and svelt?
A: Never eat more than you can lift.
Q: Do you have a fondness for food?
A: After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.
Q: Are you a friend of fitness?
B: Well, too much exercise can damage your health.
Q: Miss Piggy, how important is history in the great scheme of things?
A: When I go to the dentist, I don't ask him to tell me what he knows about the Edict of Aunts or why Charlemagne Boneparte lost the Battle of Honeydew to the Melons.
NOTHING BUT THE FACTS IF YOU PLEASE
Miss Piggy first appeared in a 1975 pilot TV show as a blonde, beady-eyed boar if not a misbegotten merry-challenged muppet (or pig puppet) in a sketch called, "Return to Beneath the Planet of the Pigs."
When asked by an interviewer once what sign she was born under, she replied: "I wasn't born under a sign, I was born over a sign. Becker's butcher shop. I moved as soon as I could."
By 1976, when Jim Henson's The Muppet Show began, Miss Piggy was not what one would call dainty and demeure, but she was most adept at batting her large lashes (beneath which lay her bodacious blue eyes), wearing a long flouncy white gown, and jumping for joy on Kermit, the love of her life.
Apparently her official 179 biography revealed that "she grew up in a small town in Iowa; her father died when she was young, and her mother wasn't that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many single women do. She has a lot of vulnerability which she has to hide, because of her need to be a superstar."
You Can Never Have Enough of Miss Piggy - Collectors of curious characters will love Miss P.
Of course I'm beautiful, I'm one very posh piggy!
Shall we dance...just make sure you don't have two left feet!
What do you mean that love can't blossom between a pig and a frog?
Like salt and pepper, Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog belong together!
Okay kids, where did you hide the mistletoe?
Miss Piggy Sends You Posh & Pugnacious Greetings! - Buzz off honey, that's my frog and that's my mistletoe!
BEWARE: WICKED WENCHES AT WORK
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