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Archimedes our CRAZY Muscovy Duck

Updated on January 7, 2017

God surely laughed - we own a Muscovy duck!

Oh, the irony of it all!

Where I live in Florida, Muscovy ducks are generally considered a nuisance. They serenely waltz across our thoroughfares, lost and content in their own ducky thoughts. There is never any concern that a car is coming, or - how fast. Quite the socialites - for all of their "ugliness", they are found in groups - and just like the very elite - are never concerned very much about anyone else or anything else, but their own Muscovian agendas.

Poorly trained in bathroom hygiene and generous to a fault, they gleefully leave large deposits wherever they go. Someone, somewhere along the line, surely told them that all Florida driveways and sidewalks are Muscovy banks. Especially fond of church parking lots, day care center walkways, shopping centers, front door steps, right next to your car - no pedestrian walkway is sacred. Since their deposits are rarely found in the grass, one can only gather that they think they are making a valuable contribution to the "greening of the concrete".

When I first met my husband, his idea was that the only good Muscovy duck was one in a roasting pan, and he routinely ran them off his property. Oh, he didn't want to eat one, he just wanted them off his land. They really rankled him, because they left messes everywhere, came uninvited to the yard and ran "roughshod" over the entire lawn. He had a decided "must-drive-Muscovy-ducks-away" mindset, and on the rampage he would go. I never noticed that they caused any harm, and loved to see them with their little ones, but I just kept my peace and observed.

It was a regular thing...they would show up, he would see them, and shortly thereafter, they would be waddling off as fast as Muscovy ducks can waddle - towards someone else's domain. As much as I hated to see them run off, I just "shut up". Not my place to say anything, and I figured God would handle it. Little did I know...

Archimedes in her Muscovian prime!
Archimedes in her Muscovian prime!

Roast Duckling, Anyone?

I never roasted a duckling in my life!

One summer afternoon, about 2 years ago - before my husband WAS my husband - he called me at my jewelry store.

He asked me if I knew how to fix roast duckling. I told him that I really didn't, but by the time I got home, I would. As soon as he hung up the phone - PRESTO CHANGO! - I had stopped what I was doing online, and was pulling up roast duckling recipes like a mad woman. I so loved him and wanted to please him, and I still do, that I figured I'd have some terrific recipes pulled up, printed out, and propped up on the kitchen counter when I got home, before you could say "Jack Sprat"!

Rushing out of the store that night, as soon as I could feasibly get away, I came in the door, put down my things, and told my husband I was ready. He had a HUGE butcher knife in his hand, and called me out into the garage. The knife was put in my hand, and he showed me where the roast duckling was to be prepared.

In a box, on the garage floor, were two little darling baby Muscovy ducks. I thought he was serious...really, I did. I thought at first, that he was going to eat them! He took one look at my face, and burst out laughing; picked one up and put it into my arms, and he picked up and held the other one. Boy, was I relieved! He said he was outside, and these two little sweeties were just lost - he's pretty sure he heard their mother being eaten by one of the alligators that live in the lake. They were just making little baby Muscovy duck noises, and scared as they could be.

He told me he had quite a job running them down, and none of the other Muscovies had been around. He HAD to catch them - we have raccoons, and foxes, and cats, and alligators. He COULDN'T just let them die!

So, we named them. I named mine, which was brown and yellow, Archimedes - his, which was all yellow, was Einstein. We didn't have a clue if they were male or female, but the names suited them so! His was the clever one - always investigating, finding bugs, following us around the lanai, nibbling on my husband's orchids, sampling the orchid mix. Mine, I named Archimedes as a joke, because "he" appeared to be so clueless - about everything, completely unlike the Greek scientist for which I named "him".

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, Einstein had passed away - we never knew why. We just found him peacefully lying on his side in the cage, expired. THAT was not a happy day. However, MY duck, Archimedes...lives on.

Archimedes trying to appear sophisticated - "reading" my placemat!
Archimedes trying to appear sophisticated - "reading" my placemat!

Archimedes is in Love!

With my husband, that is...

Well, lo and behold!

The surviving orphaned Muscovy duck - MINE - falls in love with my husband! No, really - she did! She merely tolerates me; him - she adores! She's movin' in on my territory, the fickle flighty fowl, and even decided to come in for dinner one night, and flew right up to MY CHAIR. There she is, in the photo, just as proud as she can be, looking over the menu - I TOLD you she wasn't too bright - that's a PLACEMAT, but you can't tell HER that!

We got into the habit of bringing her into the house once in a while. She follows my husband like a sheep - no, not like a puppy dog - like a sheep. Right at his heels she is, waddling as fast as she can move, and into the kitchen they go. She looks up at the refrigerator, as if to say - "Well, let's go. Whaddya got in there for me, today?" He'll give her a little piece of hot dog - YUCK! - I don't eat the nasty things, or a piece of string cheese, or some fresh greens. As the "hired help", in Archimedes' opinion, I am allowed to feed her, so, she'll take food from me, too - BUT - I am distinctly told, in Muscovian, to "keep my distance". She views me as the maid - a servant, who cleans her cage, and brings her fresh food and water and greens - but, nothing more. That's gratitude for you - someone probably told her I gave her a man's name!

Archimedes checking out the kitchen floor.
Archimedes checking out the kitchen floor.

One Lovesick Duck!

Typical female...yak, yak, yak...

I am also a female, but not a very typical one.

This female, Archimedes, is so in love with my dear husband, that I am - literally - THE ENEMY. Oh, it is painfully obvious.

Before I take off for work in the morning, I go outside to drink my coffee - right next to her cage. I always speak to her, every morning. "Well, good morning, Archimedes, how are you?" What's her response? A reluctant, begrudging tail wag, and a bill up in the air. Sometimes, she is even so "uppity" that she turns on her heels, away from me. When HE opens the door, and says "Good morning, Archimedes, how's my little girl?" - she goes bananas. I am NOT KIDDING! It literally sounds like she is screaming at the top of her lungs, and her voice box is about to break. The tail wags like a whisk broom on adrenaline, her feathers fluff out, and she spends about 5 full minutes talking gibberish non-stop, and THIS is how it goes...

"Oh, my gosh, Dad, you won't believe what happened last night - there were 1.600 Canadian wild geese coming at me from the north, the south, the east, the west - it was terrible! I fought them all off, and defended the house, while you and the 'maid' - what's her name - were asleep, and a snake got into my cage, and I killed it, and I don't know WHO drug that orchid into my cage, and I saw an eclipse of the moon, and a falling star, and Saturn came to visit, and someone tried to break in the back door, but I bit him in the leg, and there was a fruit rat in the corn and I ripped him to shreds, and I want to go shopping later --- come up for air --- "and when can I come in the house again, and don't you think my feathers are pretty, and if you get rid of the 'maid', I'll clean the house, and cook your meals, and mend your clothes, and why do we need her, anyway, and can I sleep in your bed, and ride in the car...I'll behave - OK?"

That's just a small sample of how psycho she sounds, and it's a wonder she isn't hoarse!

To demonstrate her utter disdain for me, she has perfected the art of spitting her water at the backs of my legs and precisely on the top of my right foot, right on the instep. Of course, it runs right down into my shoe or slipper - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I told my husband that she actually missed a few days ago - simply, because I moved. Right there on the lanai pebble rock, where my foot usually is, was a perfect watermark, freshly delivered by a jealous female duck! She NEVER spits at him - not ever, not even once... just... at me.

Water your Duck! - Archimedes needed it, so she could SPIT at me!

Muscovy ducks need fresh water available to them at all times. Automatic watering device are a great option, to keep your pet Muscovy duck well supplied with a fresh source of water.

We own this, and love it!

PetSafe Healthy Pet Water Station, Dog and Cat Water System with Stainless Steel Bowl, Medium, 128 oz.
PetSafe Healthy Pet Water Station, Dog and Cat Water System with Stainless Steel Bowl, Medium, 128 oz.

This particular automatic water station is great. We have owned one for years, and have one in our store for my granddaughter's small dog. Originally, we purchased it for Archimedes.

It has endured the test of time, and still works just as efficiently as it did the day that we got it.

 
Are you listening to me, Dad?
Are you listening to me, Dad?

Archimedes Speaks, and Speaks, and Speaks

Are you listening?

"Oh, Daaaaaaad..."

This is her classic pose, right after she has gone through her "Psycho, Psycho Duck" routine, where she enlightens my husband about everything that has happened overnight - real or imagined. She cocks her head at what appears to be an unnatural angle, and ask him, in the ancient Muscovian tongue - "Are you listening?" Mind you, she never asks me - she could care less. She doesn't wish to speak with me, anyway. The pose is held, until he responds, and then she usually has some other juicy morsel to add to her previous maniacal repertoire.

One day, when she decided she could fly, she took off at a great pace, and flew solidly into the pool screen. Down like a rock she dropped, stumbling over clay orchid pots, scattering orchids and destroying a few. She stumbled to her feet, looked mortified and embarrassed - oh, yes, she did! - and looked around for my husband. He heard the din, and came out on the lanai and went straight over to her, to see if she was all right. That little manipulator sidled right up next to him, and launched into an accusation against me that really should have turned her tongue black. You could almost understand her - REALLY!

"Dad, oh, Dad! I'm so glad you're here! You're not going to believe what SHE" - that's me - "did this time. She grabbed me by the throat, drug me out of my cage, swung me around her head six times - yes, it was six - I counted, and flung me with all of her might, at the screen. My whole life flashed before my eyes, I was terrified, I thought I was going to break my neck, I knew she'd be the death of me some day, it was only a matter of time, you need to get rid of her, you just don't know what she's like!"

All the while Archimedes was telling her tale of woe, she accentuated her tall tale with multiple stabbings of her head in my direction. Periodically, she'd stop, cock her head, and ask him if he was listening. Once he responded, she'd launch right back into her tirade. We were both laughing so much, we almost cried.

This goes on, on a regular basis. I "pull her tail feathers" - I never did - "spit in her food" - give me a break - "kick her in the shins" - not once - and "call her names".

Well, that part's true...I call her "Archimedes", and "darling", and "girl". Technically, those are names. The worst part of this is, that she is - was - MY duck, the turncoat! My husband has another woman in his life, and I can't do anything about it. I have been wrongfully accused, by "the other woman", and what's really so bad about it --- she's a duck! What am I going to do?

On Amazon - and I could have written it!

Sometimes, the book doesn't show up, but it comes back. If it's not up here, the name of the book is: Enslaved by Ducks, by Bob Tarte. I seriously could have written a book by that name, about our little "out-of-her-mind" Muscovy duck.

Enslaved by Ducks
Enslaved by Ducks

This author frankly just beat me to it - and the title! I could not have said it better, myself. Between the Alien Orchids, and the duck - I feel like a prisoner in my own home! This poor man, who wrote the book, said that he knew it was just a matter of time, before the animals took over his word processor, too! A kindred soul, obviously...

 
See how spoiled she is? She squawked and screamed until my husband put her favorite channel on our television set!
See how spoiled she is? She squawked and screamed until my husband put her favorite channel on our television set!

So, we own a Muscovy Duck...

And God got back at my husband!

It's been almost 2 years now.

She is as much a part of our family, as if she was one of the children. Except, I'd have blistered her hide, for her behavior and lies, if she was really my child. Archimedes loves to come in and perch on the edge of the couch, as close to my husband as she can possibly get, and run her beak through his hair. She picks up several strands, and rearranges them to her liking. If she is swimming in the pool, and we forget she is out, she'll come up to the sliding glass doors, and tap on them with her beak, until we pay attention.

In the photo, she is trying to convince him to let her stay for dinner. The flash didn't go off, so forgive the photo, it's the only one I could get of her debate. You see who "rules the roost", don't you? Look at what is on the TV!

That peculiar duck follows him around the pool, right at his heels, and would follow him anywhere. He just loves her - he who was a Muscovy Duck Detester - not that terribly long ago. She has changed his entire outlook on Muscovy ducks, and even mine. We found that you will not have any roaches or Palmetto bugs around if you have Muscovy ducks on your property. Their very name came from the fact that they love mosquito larvae, and spiders, and ants, and all sorts of bugs. They do NOT quack, they are NOT aggressive, and they become very attached to particular people. They are good with their mates, protective of their families, and good providers.

So, see? I didn't have to open my mouth. God taught my husband a valuable lesson, about the ducks he was running out of our yard. Nothing I could have said would have been as effective as what came providentially. He sent him a very special, loving, adoring, beautiful female Muscovy duck, and she is his darlin' girl.

From our copy of Corporal Haggis
From our copy of Corporal Haggis

A Muscovy World War II Corporal

Did you know that there was a Muscovy Duck Corporal, that served his country well, during the second World War? Well, there was! Occasionally, on Amazon, you can purchase : Corporal Haggis: The Wartime Diary of a Muscovy Duck, September 1943-May 1945.

This remarkable duck gave its life, in service to his country. His comrades mourned his death, as earnestly as if he had been a real, live genuine soldier. Quite a story, this is - with a sad, heart-wrenching ending.

Well, "by gum", there's more than ONE way to "pluck a duck"!

Amazon does not seem to have the photo for this book, at present, even though we uploaded images for Lefty's Place, and Corporal Haggis, and they are both there, so here is ours!

No photo from Amazon, but here's the book!

Corporal Haggis: The Wartime Diary of a Muscovy Duck, September 1943-May 1945
Corporal Haggis: The Wartime Diary of a Muscovy Duck, September 1943-May 1945

I spoke about this book above, and since the photo is missing on Amazon, look at the photo right above this - THAT'S what the book looks like.

 
One of Archimedes' relatives, in our roasting pan. I had to prove to her, that her "dearly beloved dad" really did eat duck!
One of Archimedes' relatives, in our roasting pan. I had to prove to her, that her "dearly beloved dad" really did eat duck!

Finally...I got her attention!

You know what they say - "Every dog has his day". Well, today - was mine!

That spiteful, sneaky duck has been snapping at me, and threatening me, and spitting water at me, and relieving herself on me, for a long, long time. On this red-letter day in "Muscovy Land", I brought her vile vindictiveness to a screeching halt.

My husband has wanted to have roast duck, for the last nine festive holidays. Well, each time, one thing or another came up, and it just - didn't - happen. So,...today - he finally got his wish! He thawed out the duck yesterday, stuffed it with half of an apple, three stalks of celery, a third of a large onion, and seasoned it with salt and pepper. Into the oven it went, for 2½ hours at 375°F, and voilá - succulent roast duck!

"Well, now," I thought to myself - "here is my golden opportunity. Time for a little "ducky" ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT...

I told Archimedes. She didn't believe me. I showed her the photo. Now, she does.

Well, what do you know? One photo, one tiny little photo, waved in the direction of our jealous, spiteful fowl, and a sweeter Muscovy duck, you wouldn't want to meet. She has seen the light! Archimedes didn't know that my husband really does love duck - roast duck!

She never dreamed that he would stoop to eating one of her relatives. I proved her wrong.

She was horrified. I felt justified. This duck had needed a good "comeuppance".

She swallowed hard, hung her head, and offered what I suppose would pass for an "I'm sorry, would you please forgive me?" squeak. Well, of course, I did - but - I know her kind. Just as soon as my husband shows her the slightest attention, I'll be "mud" in her eyes. She has a short memory, and she'll be up to her old tricks again, but - that's okay. I'm going to have the photo framed and hang it in her cage, as a gentle reminder that I, too, know how to roast duck - Muscovy duck!

So, we just co-exist - the duck and I.

She knows the score; we see eye-to-eye.

If she doesn't behave, in lieu of her bed...

She'll rest in a roaster - as dinner, instead!

Another Adopted Muscovy Duck

Hawaii Five-O Muscovy Pet - Intro is long, but keep with it!

So,...what does a Muscovy Duck eat? - Well, this is what Archimedes eats!

Muscovy Duck Paraphernalia on Amazon

Storey's Guide to Raising Ducks: Breeds, Care, Health
Storey's Guide to Raising Ducks: Breeds, Care, Health

This is a good overview on raising ducks, any ducks. It gives you helpful specific information on different breeds of ducks, not just Muscovies.

 

Epicurean Delights for a Muscovy Duck

Unlike most Muscovy Ducks, Archimedes indulges in gourmet fare, such as...

  • hot dogs
  • prosciutto
  • extra sharp vermont cheddar cheese
  • baby orchids - well, she is not SUPPOSED to!
  • oyster shell
  • gravel
  • one solitary slug
  • eggs
  • wheat germ
  • clover
  • Moringa seedlings - she doesn't like those, thank God!
  • palmetto bugs
  • roaches
  • layena crumbles
  • scratch
  • game bird maintenance
  • AND - my SLIPPERS, and my FEET! Well, she nips them - a LOT!

Most of those things are good for her, some are not!

Fluker's Gourmet Canned Food for Reptiles, Fish, Birds and Small Animals
Fluker's Gourmet Canned Food for Reptiles, Fish, Birds and Small Animals

Muscovy ducks love insects, and our darling Archimedes is no exception. If we let her, she would devour the entire can at one time!

These canned grasshoppers are a great treat for Muscovy ducks, but don't let them have the whole can!

 

Archimedes Recommends...

Once in a while, Archimedes asks us to tell you some things. IF she asks politely, we'll oblige her. She thinks you need to see this article, about another person we know, who is detested by her pet.

From our copy of Lefty's Place
From our copy of Lefty's Place

Another Terrific Muscovy Duck Book

Lefty's Place, is another wonderful book we have, about a Muscovy Duck. There just aren't that many around, so if you are a Muscovy Duck lover, snatch one up while you can!

Lefty's Place
Lefty's Place

As mentioned earlier, Amazon did not have the proper photo of the book, so we put ours in here, above.

 

Photo Credits

All images photographed by me - E. Tack

I'll read these to her...

...the comments, I mean. She gets bored, so this will be something else she can talk about to my husband, and talk...she will!

© 2010 Emily Tack

Tell Archimedes what you think! - She can read, too, you know!

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    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 2 years ago from USA

      Cynthia, I am so glad you liked Archimedes' story. The story was true, at least, what I wrote about her antics was! I am fairly certain that my interpretation of what she was saying to my husband was truthful, too, as I came to understand Muscovyese over a period of years.

      No wonder her story made you laugh so hard, since you have a goat that "hates" you, too!

      Like you, I prefer duck eggs to chicken eggs. They are so rich and delicious! Those ducks you have will stick around, if you feed them. They can be "bought" easily with duck food or whole corn.

      Please don't let the ducks that are coming to your home smell roasting duck - they will never forgive you.

      Again, I am so glad you enjoyed it. We miss her.

    • Cynthia Hoover profile image

      Cynthia Hoover 2 years ago from Newton, West Virginia

      I am so sorry that Archimedes passed away. What a delightful funny little duck she must have been. I two have a pet that hates me ( I think he does at times) a goat. He loves me when I have produce to feed him though. If given the chance he will ram me with his horns when I am not watching!

      I have wanted ducks for a while now, I prefer baking with duck eggs. My fiance' told me "I don't think they will stick around". Our property is bordered by a river, so he assumes they will likely go for a swim and never return.

      I do make roast duck from time to time, and it is delicious, I have never used an apple though (will be trying with the next one).

      This was an incredible read! I laughed so hard my sides hurt!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 2 years ago from USA

      No, peachpurple, we did not kill her. She rather peacefully passed away on Mother's Day, a couple of years ago. We DO miss her, and shall NEVER forget her incredible personality! She so loved my husband...

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      So, you didn't kill tour ducky, did you? She sounds like a cute pet to me

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 2 years ago from USA

      Thank you, Gemini Fox! I hope your mother forgave Cleo. I have thick skin, and big shoulders - emotionally, that is. I was glad that it was my husband she preferred, if she had to make a choice.

      Oh, yes - we fed her canned grasshoppers, and live crickets, too. Thankfully, she did not want to be fed spiders and snakes. That would have been the straw that broke THIS camel's back!

    • Gemini Fox profile image

      Gemini Fox 2 years ago

      LOVE the way you write!

      Isn't it strange the way a pet will choose a favorite human, though? My mother found a stray semi-feral kitten and adopted her. When I moved out to OK to help my mother, her kitten, Cleo, just took an immediate liking to me - and for some reason turned on my mother. You seemed to have taken your duck-rejection rather well; my mother was not too happy!

      Please, please tell me it ain't so . . . 'canned' grasshoppers?!?! Oh.My.Word. Eeeewwwwwwww!!!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      Thank you, DrMark 1961 - hope it made you chuckle. I know how geese can be, as we have some that visit us often. In our case, the geese are Canadian Wild Geese, and they give EVERYONE a run for their money. If they stayed in Canada, that would be fine, but they prefer to come to Florida!

    • DrMark1961 profile image

      Dr Mark 3 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      Great duck tale! I used to have ducks, but they bullied my geese so badly that I had to get rid of them. Now I just have to deal with the geese--which are every bit as bad as Archimedes.

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      Thank you, Susan! Good to see you here, and I am so glad that Archimedes' story put a smile on your face. She was a "corker"!

    • SusanDeppner profile image

      Susan Deppner 3 years ago from Arkansas USA

      What a wonderful duck tale! I haven't spent much time around ducks but I totally believe the monologues you described. Reminds me of Daisy, our dog, who likes me just fine but adores "dad." Thanks for making me smile this morning!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @aishu19: I'm fairly sure I interpreted her conversation correctly. Glad you liked it!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @KathyMcGraw2: Oh, I made the "Duck TV" thing. She thought that was what she was watching, anyway!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @Tyla MacAllister: Well, if you do get one, get a male. Maybe it will love you. Archimedes disdained me!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @SusannaDuffy: No, she can't, but her food was "dirt-cheap". We bought it in 50-lb bags! Thank you for the blessing!

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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @WildFacesGallery: Thank you, darlin'!

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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @HorseAndPony LM: Thank you for stopping by, and I am so glad you liked it. She was a character!

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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @huvalbd: Well, now, I haven't written about our guinea pigs, yet. We only have one female, and four males. The female has my husband wrapped around her little finger...

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @Tyla MacAllister: THANK YOU! I am so far behind in replies - my apologies!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @anonymous: I did NOT know that the herons eat baby ducks. I will keep an eye open from now on...

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @anonymous: I am SO glad that you liked it!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @Snakesmum: Archimedes did have a husband. We named him Murdock. She passed away a couple of years ago, but Murdock still comes to see us!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @anonymous: Love it!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i have a muscovy too she dominates my affection, gets on great with my nine cats you told a beautiful love story

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 3 years ago from USA

      @anonymous: Wow! Nine cats and a Muscovy duck...

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      What a delightful tale! Archimedes' story reminds me a lot of our Muscovies, Hamlet & Ophelia (both male it turns out). Hamlet follows my partner David everywhere. Ophelia is my baby. In addition to some of the foods you mentioned, they also love tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Hamlet likes bananas. We live in Maine, so they have their own bedroom in the house and use the bathtub (I put on my rain gear for that).

    • Snakesmum profile image

      Jean DAndrea 6 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Wonder if you should get a husband for Archimedes? Perhaps he will become YOUR friend? :-) Great story.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Just got 12 khaki campbell ducklings yesterday. YAY - Ducky love.

      Anyway, I googled "ducks eat moringa" since I was wondering whether moringa would make good duck fodder. That lead me here. I gather Archimedes says "Ducks don't like moringa" - true? Oh well, so much for that plan. . . .

      My dear husband was trying to sleep on my lap while I was reading this but my stomach started shaking too violently from my laughter and I woke him up. Funny stuff!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      hahhaha too funny . we live on a lake and have named several of our Muscovy ducks. We have Spot aka stud muffin, he comes when called. The girls are Silver who will only eat on top of our party room down by the dock, mama duck who will only eat in dog pen with bread in a water bowl. bawled eagle, baby silver, bethy duck , dotty, pretty girl, Charlene, Isaiah 1 and Isaiah 2. they come when called. bawled eagle just had 18 babies. I was thrilled. but I know their numbers will dwindle as they will be floating appetizers to the gators. Did you know the great white Herons also eat the baby ducks? Just disgusting! Well Archimedes I wish you could meet my girls as they are pretty chatty too.

    • Tyla MacAllister profile image

      Tyla MacAllister 6 years ago

      As you know I've visited before but I had to return and give this wonderful lens a Squid Angel blessing.

    • profile image

      huvalbd 6 years ago

      Delightful lens! I'm glad Pandora the alpha guinea pig bosses me around more gently.

    • HorseAndPony LM profile image

      HorseAndPony LM 6 years ago

      This was too funny. What a great lens. I love reading about Archimedes. She sounds like a wonderful girl. Thanks for sharing!!!

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      Mona 7 years ago from Iowa

      This is such a sweet and funny story. We kept geese a long time until the coyotes starting thinning them. At that point we rehomed the remaining birds to a safer coyote-free farm. I miss them greatly, but not the poop. Mind you are yard grass was so thick and luxurious it was like carpet. We also raised a couple of orphans (named them Hunt and Peck) We never bonded quite like you (or perhaps more accurately your husband) and Archimedes though. :) Seriously great lens.

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      Susanna Duffy 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      But can she pay the bills? It costs me a small fortune to feed the ducks in my creek - I'm sure they can manage on their own but I always get extra bread so that I have some "over". Blessed by an angel today(/one-hundred-lens-blessings)

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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @Cute to Boot: Oh, yeah! She hates me. I barely escape with all of my toes intact, whenever I clean out her cage...that would be, every day. Ungrateful foul fowl, and what's worse, she was MY duck!

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      Cute to Boot 7 years ago

      How funny, it seems we are kindred spirits! What a life it is to be unloved by your pet :) Great read!

    • Tyla MacAllister profile image

      Tyla MacAllister 7 years ago

      I know how you feel. All of our female pets prefer my husband even though I'm the one who usually takes care of them. Like Archimedes,they treat me like the "help."

      We have a wild flock of muscovies who live in the lake and come to steal dog food,I mean "visit" a few times a week. The big males seem to have realized that I'm a sucker and will give them whatever they want if they wag their tails at me. The girls are shy but they definitely seem to respond more to my hubby.

      I've never kept a Muscovy as a pet before but I think it would be awesome. I hope I get the chance to raise some ducklings one day.

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      Kathy McGraw 7 years ago from California

      I laughed and laughed at this....it is one of the best reads I've had in a long time. The way you told this story is priceless :) "Duck TV" how in the world did you do that, or was it really on?

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      aishu19 7 years ago

      That is a wonderful story. Its funny how not only the duck absolutely loves your husbands..but its nice to see your version on what the duck could be telling him...

    • Bus Stop Toy Shop profile image

      Bus Stop Toy Shop 7 years ago

      Lovely story, and very funny too! I have a wife who's obsesssed with ducks...

    • JenOfChicago LM profile image

      JenOfChicago LM 7 years ago

      Hilarious lens! Blessed by a squidangel.

    • indigoj profile image

      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      ~*~* Angel Blessings *~*~ to this little duck!

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      Joan4 7 years ago

      Delightful! What a super fun read! Love to Archimedes!

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      luvmyludwig lm 7 years ago

      this was such a fun lens...I love the tirade bits...just great!

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      This is the very best duck love story I've ever read! Well, honestly it is the only duck love story I've ever read...still it is fantastic!

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      Jennifer P Tanabe 7 years ago from Red Hook, NY

      Fun story great lens! Thanks for sharing. Archimedes, you're famous!

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      GrowWear 7 years ago

      Such a great story. Archimedes is one lovable duck!

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      kimmanleyort 7 years ago

      What a great story! We so underestimate the animal world. I am so glad I found this lens through Squidoo Lens Reviews.

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      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      Please let Archimedes know that she is going to be featured on the Squidoo Lens Reviews blog on Monday (12 April)! If she likes, she can waddle on over and collect a review badge. :)

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @SusannaDuffy: Oh, I am so glad, susannaduffy, that it made you laugh! Why did you have to clean up the bricks and concrete - if you just lieave it alone, it solidifies beautifully...I hear it is all the latest, in "sidewalk décor".

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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @Stazjia: Thank you, Stazjia - but, I assure you - she's only adorable when my husband is around. When I show up, she "huffs" at me, and stabs at me, and spits at me...other than that, she's fairly well behaved!

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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @indigoj: Victor thought it was funny!

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      Susanna Duffy 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I had 3 Muscovies once (I see another Australian did too!) and I just loved what they did for my garden. I didn't like what they did to my patio and front path though, carrying out the buckets of laundry water merely to wash down bricks and concrete was an unnecessary waste of water. All the same, they were happy creatures to have around and made me laugh, just as your lens made me laugh.

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      Carol Fisher 7 years ago from Warminster, Wiltshire, UK

      Your Muscovy duck sounds adorable and I just love your stories about her. Brilliant lens.

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      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      @Shades-of-truth: LOL... it's OK, you can tell Victor I was just joking, really I was. ;) I don't think there should be any grilling or roasting going on here. Not ducks, not Victor, not anybody. And especially not Archimedes. :)

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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @norma-holt: To all of you - thank you! Archimedes thinks she's on a roll, now - you should see her strut! It is going to break her heart, if anyone thinks she isn't pretty, too - cause my husband tells her she is. I reserve comments re: that.

      Skiesgreen - Archimedes says "You're right! They don't taste good - everyone knows that." Hmmm, I wonder whose hide she's protecting...

      Word Custard - I...told...Victor...what you said! Whooo-whee! The rest of you - duck kisses for all - on the house.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 7 years ago

      Very well written and engaging story. I once owned 3 muscovies, as well as other ducks. They loved the gold fish in the ponds despite having their own huge pond. I once chased one around the garden to get a large fish from its beak. But they are lovely and, by the way, I don't think they are so good to eat but great egg layers. Top marks and lensrolled to Pet Health

      Norma

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      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      This is wonderful. She sounds such a character, thanks for sharing such an engaging story. By the way, I definitely heard somewhere that Victor (see below) tastes better when grilled. ;)

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Ducks are Particularly more friendly when they are raised by hand. And Muscovy Ducks are also one of the best Roasting Ducks you can get. Some say they are better then the Peking ducks, because they have more meat on them. You might like Archimedes better with a little Potatoes and gravy on the side. Maybe now is a good time to try some of those Recipes.

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      RinchenChodron 7 years ago

      Very cleaverly written. Great photos. Aren't you jealous? Five stars.

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @Shades-of-truth: Make that "her in action" - typing too fast!

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @askfault: Totally not natural - females are quiet - I is one.

    • Shades-of-truth profile image
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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @garyrh1: Ah! Weird it is, but she is ours! Loved your thing about Charlton Heston, and commented on it.

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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @oztoo lm: Love that comment! Thank you so much! She keeps us in hysterics, and....she just spit at me, again, this morning!

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      Emily Tack 7 years ago from USA

      @LisaMarieGabriel: Thanks! Wish you could see here in action!

    • LisaMarieGabriel profile image

      Lisa Marie Gabriel 7 years ago from United Kingdom

      Wonderful and entertaining lens. I loved it! I can just visualize that jealous duck! Welcome to Squidoo! :) 5*

    • oztoo lm profile image

      oztoo lm 7 years ago

      Archimedes, jealousy is not at all becoming. I'd be careful if I were you, that long suffering maid of yours might just up and throw you in the pot.

      Great story and 5*s

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      garyrh1 7 years ago

      I always think it is weird when people tell me they have pet ducks or chickens, because I grew up on a small farm where we had them for uhm... other purposes. But it does seem to be in growing popularity within the United States to own them as pets. I still think it is weird though.

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      askfault 7 years ago

      Seems to be quite an entertaining pet.

      Also, if she wears out her welcome you could remind her to learn some new tricks or show her the oven.

      I'd bet she learns some new tricks.

      Odd the being a female duck that she'd speak all the time.

      Is that natural I wonder?