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My Cat Just Died - What Do I Do?

Updated on May 17, 2013

Perdy - our feline model

Our cat Perdy loved the garden in our yard. My sister in law Kim took this picture one year. Beautiful- wasn't she?
Our cat Perdy loved the garden in our yard. My sister in law Kim took this picture one year. Beautiful- wasn't she? | Source

My cat Perdy broke her neck

If your cat just died and you are reading this, I can relate. I am writing this because I just lost our beloved cat yesterday - May 18, 2010. Her name was Perdy aka known as "Confucious". (One of many pet names we had for this funny endearing kitty of ours)

This hub is devoted to Perdy and all the beloved fur babies that we have loved and lost. It is in honor of that love that I write this - to pay homage to my dear little black and white friend who gave me years of unconditional love and lots of giggles. We will miss you Perdy.

Perdy was a one of a kind cat. The only way I can process my grief over losing her is thorough writing, which is why I'm here. Hopefully Perdy's story can lift your spirits and give you some comfort to know you are not alone. Yesterday my son discovered Perdy's lifeless body in front of our garage. I must have wailed and cried for over 2 hours... the grief was so intense. At first I thought this had to be a cruel joke - that my son was only kidding - but when I ran out in front Perdy lay lifeless on the pavement. We will never know how Perdy died - all I know is that I came home and parked in the driveway like I always do. The next thing I knew Perdy was dead within the next half hour. Her neck was broken and the only thing I can think of is either a loose dog broke her neck, she was posted in the wheel well of the tire when I moved the car - or she fell off the roof in front of the garage. We will never know.

Honestly, none of that matters to me anymore. However she died she's gone and I'm sad and my family is sad. Even people that were just visitors here are sad because Perdy was one of the favorites around here. Her ditzy personality never failed to charm and I will miss seeing her run to greet me when I come home from work.

Here is Perdy's story and why Perdy was so special to me and to so many people. It is a story of a cat that was born into adversity....

Elvis. Perdy and Zorro

The 3 Hooligans - they were so cute and just so much fun as kittens
The 3 Hooligans - they were so cute and just so much fun as kittens | Source

Perdy's story

Perdy's mother Shasta was one of the most beautiful cats I've ever had - and she also turned out to be one of the meanest (more on that later) Shasta had 3 kittens in the back of our shop on Oct. 9, 2006 (this happened to be my deceased fathers birthday too) When Perdy was born we hand delivered all the babies because Shasta was a small cat. Shasta had 3 kittens from that litter which we named Zorro, Perdy and Elvis. Perdy was the second one born. We named her Perdy because she looked like one of the Dalmatian puppies on the movie 101 Dalmatians. In all fairness I have to say I had not intended on Shasta having these 3 kittens - but she went into heat at a very early age. Before we thought about getting her fixed she got pregnant and voila - here came the 3 kittens (Read more about Sex and the KItty here)

Now the problem with having just 3 kittens and 3 kids was that everyone wanted to claim a kitten (to stay and live with us of course) I wasn't hot about the idea but really how do you give 3 kittens away? I mean there were just 3 of them - right? So of course you know what happened - we ended up keeping all 3 of them. So now we had a total of 5 cats including the kittens (we also had a Siamese cat named Layla)

Sigh.....

The 3 kittens

Perdy the cat with her brothers Elvis and Zorro. Perdy is the one in the middle. They were born at our business.
Perdy the cat with her brothers Elvis and Zorro. Perdy is the one in the middle. They were born at our business. | Source

Perdy in my pocket

Perdy needed to be protected because she had a mean mom
Perdy needed to be protected because she had a mean mom | Source

Cat in the Bag

Perdy was very curious about everything - typical cat!
Perdy was very curious about everything - typical cat! | Source

So we now had 3 kittens

I've never had more than 1 kitten at a time, so having 3 was quite an experience. As they grew up each one developed their own distinct personality. Because they were so different, it was fun to watch the different things each kitten would do. Unfortunately for Perdy she must have been born with some type of brain damage, because within the first few weeks of her birth her mother proceeded to abandon her multiple times. We would find poor Perdy ditched behind materials in our shop - wailing for her mother. One time, her mother even proceeded to bang Perdy's head against our office windows in an all attempt to kill her (I told you her mother was mean)

So poor Perdy became the outcast of the bunch, and until she was old enough to fend for herself we took care of her and got her a bottle to eat from. We even took her with us on outings so her psycho mother wouldn't try to kill her again. Despite being an outcast, her brothers Zorro and Elvis loved her. The 3 kittens would run through the house (we had brought them home by this time) and you could hear the thump thump of them running through the house throughout the day, chasing each other and generally causing widespread havoc. Because Perdy suffered from some type of disorder she was always the ditzy one in the family (we called her our ditzy blond even though she was black and white) .We also called her Confucius because she was just generally... well...confused. She never sat still for too long, ran into things and didn't seem to be aware of her actions half the time. Although we were concerned for Perdys safety outside because of her ditziness, she loved going outside and never strayed far from our yard. One of her favorite spots was on our front porch or laying in the neighbors yard, where one of her best friends lived - a little girl named Heather. Heather would play with Perdy and her kitty brothers in her yard, teasing them with catnip, cat toys and rubbing Perdys's belly, which she loved.

Although confused, Perdy grew up to be one of the most loving cats of all time. She was never mean (thank God she wasn't like her mother) and she was always available to sit on your lap, your laptop, whatever was available that she could post her tiny little body on (she was also the runt of the litter) So in short, Perdy was just an all around love bug, and she proceeded to become everybody's favorite cat because of her loving nature ( and of course we were always partial because of Perdy's rocky start in life)

We all love an underdog, right? Or in this case I should say "the under-cat" because that was exactly what poor Perdy was in the beginning of her life.

One of Perdy's favorite spots

Perdy loved laying in this plant every year when the soft leaves came back in the Spring. She loved soft things. Photo by Kim Diaz
Perdy loved laying in this plant every year when the soft leaves came back in the Spring. She loved soft things. Photo by Kim Diaz | Source

One of Perdy's sexy poses

One of Perdy's favorite poses. She was such a goof ball.
One of Perdy's favorite poses. She was such a goof ball. | Source

Perdy and her Auntie Kim

Perdy and her Aunt Kim. Perdy loved modeling for her in various cat poses.
Perdy and her Aunt Kim. Perdy loved modeling for her in various cat poses. | Source

Some of my favorite memories of Perdy

Besides being a cat, Perdy was also the feline model for our household. My sister in law and I are both photographers and Perdy was one of our favorite subjects. Perdy's beautiful black and white coat made her exceptionally photogenic. My sister in law would have a blast on nice days capturing Perdy napping in the plant pots or in front of the sunflowers. Perdy was such a sexy cat too, always lounging in her come hither poses. Inspired by Perdy I even wrote a hub about Sexy cats 2 years ago (it also happens to be one of my most visited hubs - apparently there are lots of people who like sexy cats too..,lol)

Perdy was also an absolute couch potato too - and loved to lounge upside down in various odd positions on the lawn, in pots, boxes and anywhere she could wiggle her little body into or onto. Another thing that I loved about Perdy is that she could hold her own with our 5 dog household. Although little, Perdy was mighty and the dogs knew better than to mess with her. The funny thing is though is that some of them were 10 times bigger than her - but she was never intimidated by them. Instead, she earned their respect and love by just being her loving self. It wasn't unusual to see Perdy nose to nose with one of the dogs. Even my sons pitbull puppy would give her a little nose to nose in an attempt to earn her love. It also wasn't unusual to find Perdy on her back playing with the dogs, sometimes even reversing roles and chasing them.

Now that was a sight, a 40 pound dog running from her!!

Ahhh Perdy...the more I write the sadder I get. I will miss your antics so much. This is the sad thing about love - we love hard and we grieve hard. In our family our animals are like our children, and Perdy was one of the best...

Perdy's last picture

This is one of the last photos of took of my cat before she got killed. Unfortunately, her penchance for louging in wheel wells may have got her killed.
This is one of the last photos of took of my cat before she got killed. Unfortunately, her penchance for louging in wheel wells may have got her killed. | Source
Perdy again in her plant
Perdy again in her plant | Source

Perdy's last days

We buried Perdy last night under the Crepe Myrtle tree in our backyard {Perdy would have liked that, being close to her family and being outside in the grass) I'm crying now as I write this because it's just so extremely sad to know that we I'll never be graced with Perdy's physical presence again. The only solace I have is knowing that Perdy died quickly and did not suffer. I also have wonderful memories of a cat that captured my heart and showed me how to live through adversity. And I have beautiful visual memories of a cat that loved the camera....

A friend of mine at church had good intentions last night when she offered to give me one of her cats. I gratefully declined and said " You don't understand - I can't do that". She nodded her head and said "She was one of a kind, wasn't she?" to which I replied yes.

Perdy was special.

RIP Perdy.

(I hope that you enjoyed my story about my wonderful and beautiful friend Perdy. if you came here because you have lost your cat, I am so sorry because I know how hard it is.Loss is never ever easy)

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  • Dorsi profile image
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    Dorsi Diaz 2 months ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Thank you Sierra, she was a very sweet kitty and we miss her very much. Sounds like you have a very sweet fur-baby too :)

  • Cat lover9292 profile image

    Sierra 3 months ago from NC, USA

    Perdy sounds like a very sweet kitty. I'm so sorry. I have a 19 year old cat that's weak and frail, and I'm worried that I'll lose her soon.

  • Dorsi profile image
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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Pamela) Excellent advice and yes, there are so many animals that need our love...

  • profile image

    Pamela 5 years ago

    Always remember that there are so many of Gods angles waiting for love and although our heart breaks soapy await the chance for someone to love them fill that void with love ...God bless

  • Dorsi profile image
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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Pam) Thank you for coming by and reading. I am so sorry about your kitty.

  • profile image

    Pam 5 years ago

    Reading all of these stories is so hear felt I lost my kitten several months ago I adored her. We are blessed to have these little creatures God put on this earth for us their love is unconditional and bring Smiles to our faces. There is another kitty oyt there waiting for someone to love

  • Dorsi profile image
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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Thank you snakeslane, Perdy sure is missed. Glad you enjoyed her story and photos.

  • snakeslane profile image

    snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

    Hello Dorsi, Perdy's story is touching. What a charming little cat. Your photos are awesome. Clearly she brought a lot of joy to you and your family, so precious (sitting in the flower pots :) thank you for sharing this sweet tribute to Perdy. Regards, snakeslane

  • Dorsi profile image
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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @BluHaze) I am so so sorry. I shed tears reading your story about Lucy. There are no words for our losses except to say I am sorry and understand. RIP sweet Lucy. Time will help...I know it's hard right now but the pain will lessen with time...

  • BluHaze profile image

    BluHaze 5 years ago

    Thank you for letting us share a little bit of Perdys life, Dorsi. She sounded like an amazing companion.

    I wanted to tell you a little bit about my Lucy.

    My sister and I originally purchased her as a christmas gift for my mother. Right away though I knew how special she was, when she was cuddling up in my lap on the car ride home.

    Originally my mother was thrilled when she opened the box and found her new kitty there waiting for her, but unfortunately it turned out that she was a bit more feral than my mother would have liked. She was a very active kitty, who loved to run, and loved to play rough.

    As a result my mother didn't spend a whole lot of time with her since every time she did she got herself into trouble. I ended up filling in some of the gaps by feeding, taking care of, and loving her beyond reason.

    It wasn't long before she became quite attached to me, following me all over the house. I remember when she was just a little kitten she would lay on the desk while I was at the computer, taking a nap and using my hand as a little pillow near the keyboard.

    She was a very vocal cat, meowing softly at every opportunity. I always knew when she was waking up from a long nap, because I would hear a plop as she jumped down from the refrigerator, and would meow as she came looking for me.

    I would often catch her mimicking the things that I did, I remember the first of which was when I heard her making a "kehkehkeh" noise which I believed to be mimicking my coughing. One day I was randomly peeking through the front window, using my hand to pull the blinds down a bit. Then I looked down at the box she loved to sleep on, and saw her using her paw to gently part the blinds so she could peak out too.

    She was the most sweet, loving, and adorable cat that I've ever known. Nearly every day when I woke up she'd be there to say good morning and sit with me for a few minutes, and when I came home I would hear her on the other side of the door meowing, waiting for me.

    Yesterday was my birthday, and after opening gifts I went out for a bit to run some errands. After coming home I was putting away the groceries while Lucy was in my mothers room playing with the feather duster. Suddenly I see her whizzing down the hall out of the corner of my eye, but didn't think anything of it since she was always very active.

    After a few minutes when I went into the living room I found her laying down in the middle of the living floor, not moving. At first I thought she was just being lazy, so I went to scoop her up in my arms. That was when I realized how soft and limp she was.

    In a panic I told my mother that we had to take her to the animal hospital. As she drove I held her in my arms and watched the spark fade from her eyes. After we got there I begged for help, but all the vet could do is tell me that she had already passed.

    I'll never forget seeing her laying there on the cold table. That once youthful, vibrant, beautiful cat, so still and unmoving.

    I don't often show my emotions, but when the vet told me she had passed I burst into tears. I cried at the hospital, I cried in the car, and I cried at home for hours.

    She was my best friend, my little buddy, and I can't imagine life without her.

    I miss her so much and feel so empty, I haven't even eaten in days.

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @sterling) I'm so sorry about Butters. He sounded like a wonderful friend to you. RIP Butters.

    @Oliver) I'm sorry.

    @Aya) What a shock that must have been finding him like that. I'm so sorry. We have a stray too that we are feeding now. She won't let anyone by her but she's starting to trust me a little bit now.

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    Aya 5 years ago

    I'm sorry for your lost. I had a cat who I loved very much. This may sound silly to some people, but he was like my best friend. One day my dad found him laying in the bushes of our back yard. When he told me, I didn't believe him until I saw him. We don't know exactly what happened, but we saw a hawk flying around our back yard, so we guessed it must have killed him. I have another cat I'm caring for, a stray. She's a sweet girl, but it's not the same. I still miss him very much.

  • profile image

    Oliver 5 years ago

    My Kitty Died To :(

  • profile image

    Sterlinnggg 5 years ago

    My Kitty Died Two Weeks Ago and I Feel Really Sad She Had A Awesome Personality...She Would Do Poses Like Purdy Haha...Her Name Was Butters Like From South Park...She Was My Best Friend..But She Was In Heat And So She Got Out The Door And Dogs Got Her Im Trying To Find A Cat That I Can Love..But Its Just Not Easy..When I Look at Her Spots She Use To Lay At I Start Crying..Will I Ever Love Another Kitty? Butters Was Only One Years Old :'(

  • Dorsi profile image
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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @sayantika) I am sorry for your double loss. I lost Perdy about a year after her brother Elvis disappeared. It was very hard. Take care my friend.

    RIP Chingu.

  • profile image

    sayantika 5 years ago

    Again I lost a cat. After losing Pingu in November last year, this time I lost his sister, Chingu. I dont know why I am losing them one after other.

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Jeff) I know Jeff. There really is an emptiness when they are not there anymore.

  • profile image

    Jeff 5 years ago

    Still miss my buddy...I spend every day with him for 2 years..he just likes to jump up on my right shoulder and cuddle up around my neck area...he only does that to me and now I am empty...hope you rest well BUSUK!!

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Jeff) I'm glad you shared.

    @Nadhira) RIP Eow beloved kitty.

    @Jeff) That's OK. I know how hard it is.

  • profile image

    Jeff 5 years ago

    Sorry I meant seanorjohn and Dorsi not Mpa and Doris...I'm still trying to gather myself. Thanks again

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    Nadhira 5 years ago

    Thanks a lot for the kind thoughts..Really miss her right now..How I wish I could hug my Eow..Definitely she's enjoying her life in heaven now..Hope to see u again my beloved Eow :)

  • profile image

    Jeff 5 years ago

    Thank-You! so much for your kind words Mpa and Dorsi...I just want to share my dearest BUSUK life here. Be well BUSUK and please wait for me I will definitely be with you soon. FOREVER MISSED!

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Nadhira) I am SO sorry. How devastating that must have been. RIP

    blessed kitty.

    @Jeff) RIP Busuk. It does get better in time, especially that sick feeling in your heart. It will ease.

    @seanorjohn) Thank you sj. Very much!

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @mpa) Oh my I mpa didn't realize how bad the wild cat and dog situation is in Europe - that there are so many abandoned in the streets. I know it happens in the US too, but the dog and cat catchers always seem to be out rounding up the strays (and yes most of them get killed) So tragic knowing that they were not loved.

    Unfortunately the way HP is set up there is no way to add pics by readers. Have you thought about blogging about this and putting your pics up? You can blog for free on Blogger or Blogspot.

  • seanorjohn profile image

    seanorjohn 5 years ago

    Mpa I hope Dorsi can help you. I am really not sure what to say.

    nadhiri I still shed tears for my beloved Oscar. Try to remember the good times.

    Jeff our best friends can be remembered by talking to family and I think looking at photos helps.

    Dorsi you are helping so many people. God bless you for your compasion and helpfulness.

    Hope you don't mind me butting in. Voted up and ?

  • profile image

    Jeff 5 years ago

    I just lost my best friend today BUSUK! I love and miss you

    so much...can't wait to see you again when my time is up. I can't wait to hug you again! I miss my cat so bad

  • profile image

    Nadhira 5 years ago

    We just lost our cat 2 days ago..She fell from our apartment,5th floor, and we don't really know the reason she died but most probably she hit on something hard.It hurts us so much..We couldn't sleep,no appetite to eat, and kept on thinking of her only..We really really miss her..She was with us for about 1 year but it feels like she was with us for a long time..It is so hard to fight this feelings and we kept on crying for most of the time :(

  • profile image

    mpa 5 years ago

    Thanks, DORSI, for the address of this memorial page. I read all the posts and I understood, and cried, for all. I would have liked to tell you about death, sorrows, and guilts that we, moms and dads of the non-human creatures have to haunt us because there is always guilt beyond all the events. Always. As I am too troubled for the moment to talk about me and the uncommon departures of no matter what animal's soul departed from my open palms, from Geena the fawn, Bebe the duck, Pika the baby pigeon, Tootsie my favorite cat and most recently, Koko the Brave my rottie, I promise to come back with their extraordinary stories. I feel for your broken heart, DORSI, especially knowing how hard is the feeling of not having been there in time, at time of the frightening leap in the Big Void of your little angel, which closeness would have made her passing easier, rest her in God's peace. Koko's passing was so horribly unfair that I should talk about it. But especially, due the majority of stories here of people having lost their beloved pets through hit and run events, I would have liked to tell you the most tragic fate of the anonimous passing of millions of animals thrown in the streets at this very hour of which at least 2-3 dozens I personally witnessed last year in a civilized country in Europe, millions who did, and do, not have anybody to be cried by after their death. Either about Koko or Tootsie, or those millions of painful and hungry cries of the creatures who live on those European streets, I need more time to know what to write. And less tears in my heart. Can I show you some pictures of those dozens of animals living ownerless, until they die without anybody crying after them, on those streets? If yes, how to attach the pics here? If not, where else? Once again, RIP, sweet Perdy, and if you see Tootsie, tell her I loved her so much at THOSE times.

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Oh Michelle I am so sorry about Smokey. He sounded like such a character. I too am glad you found a little solace here - and yes it does get better in time. I remember when Perdy died I must have cried for 2 hours I was so devastated. I'm getting teary eyed now thinking about all of our kitty babies that we have loved that have graced our lives. RIP Smokey.

    @Amber) I'm so sorry about your kitty. RIP Kiki.

  • profile image

    Amber Bauter 5 years ago

    My cat Kiki had just died this morning. And she was a sweet kitty. She was a soft, sweet, lovable kitty and slept in my bed. But yesterday she was at the vet and yesterday morning...

    she... died. It was very sad. And I cried. I was so sad and I am sorry what happened to your cat. Please pray for my cat and your cat. By :( she was sick that is why she was at the vet. :(

  • profile image

    Michelle 5 years ago

    I have spent the past hour or so reading through this blog and the comments and I have found such comfort through the love people have had for their pets.

    My little cat Smokey was put to sleep this morning. She turned 14 in January. Just a few days before we took her to the vets as she had stopped eating and just generally was not herself. She was diagnosed with a stomach tumor and due to her age and small size, could not be operated on. The vet gave us some tablets which perked her up for another month. She began eating again and acting like the lunatic she was. On Saturday night though she climbed up on the windowsill in the living room and just lay flat out on her side. She lay there until this morning just staring at us until we managed to get an appointment for her to be put to sleep. The vet said she had literally gave up. She was still my dear smokey until the end. She hated strangers with a passion and when the vet put the needle into her she growled at him!!

    I was 11 when my mum said I could have a cat for Christmas. Smokey was 6 weeks when I picked her out of a litter at an adoption centre. I picked her because she was so tiny yet seemed so feisty and could hold her own. She was my best friend. I could talk to her about anything. She could tell what mood I was in - always ready to comfort me or play. She literally ruled the roost in our home - whatever Smokey wanted Smokey got. She loved to sit in the back garden and state at the birds - She knew she was a terrible hunter and gave up even trying to catch birds about 4 years ago!

    We have buried her wrapped in her blanket and her bed in a coffin we made, out on her favourite spot in the back garden. We are going to plant a tree on top so Everytime we look at it we see her. Right now it feels like the pain will never stop, I have not stopped crying all day and got so bad that I opened up my search engine and typed 'what to do when your cat dies' which is how I came across this, however I have now gained so much comfort reading this, knowing that as much as she will be missed, it WILL become less painful. I have loved seeing the pictures of perdy and what a character she was as Smokeys pictures showcase her as a poser and character also. I am extremely glad I came across this :)

  • Dorsi profile image
    Author

    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Jon you made me teary eyed. RIP Popov.

    @Julia) What a beautiful tribute to Begie. You made me cry.

    @Yia) Thank you so much for your beautiful and uplifting comment.

    @seanorjohn) I agree. Every time I look at Perdys photos here it does make me a little sad but I also smile and remember her quirky personality.

    @I am sorry) I am very sorry about Petunia. It's obvious you loved her very much and would have never knowingly gave her something that could harm her. Please don't beat yourself up - I know you feel guilty but you did what you thought was best for Petunia. She forgives you and you need to forgive yourself now. RIP Petunia sweet baby.

  • profile image

    I am sorry 5 years ago

    On the 17Th of May, 2011, I brought my cat Petunia in to have her teeth cleaned, at the vets.

    She ended up having two teeth pulled and was placed on Amoxi Drops and Metacam for pain.

    I was not given any written directions from my veterinarian about the metacam.

    However it did come with a client information sheet that I neglected to look at because I believed it to just be directions

    on how much medicine to give her, which I'd already been told. Besides I trusted my vet and didn't think any medications could

    be harmful to Petunia unless I purposely overdosed her.

    The Metacam box only said to give so much for pain. It never said when to stop. I thought I was supposed to give my cat Petunia

    the Metacam for as long as it said to give the Amoxi Drops which said, till gone.

    Saturday the 4Th of June, I called the vets to let them know Petunia wasn't eating much and was very sluggish.

    I was told to take her off the medication and bring her in Monday if she wasn't better.

    I wanted so badly to believe she was just suffering symptoms of the metacam, it can make animals tired and not eat.

    I didn't tell the vets she had been off her medication for a few days believing she would be fine till Monday.

    After rushing her to the vets Monday, they drew her blood and said she had renal failure. I was told I was only supposed to have kept Petunia on the Metacam for 5 days.

    The vets admitted it was their error for not writing that down on the medication, but I have a horrible feeling that they

    told me verbally and I just completely forgot. The vet said that he would put her on an IV drip to flush her kidneys, and place her on antibiotics.

    He also said that he had done this with one of his own cats, and he had survived, and not to worry that he could "bring her out of it".

    On Tuesday the 7Th, my mother called the vets first thing in the morning to see how Petunia was doing, and to see if it was okay to go and visit her.

    She was placed on hold, only to have a technician come online to say "sorry, but your cat didn't survive the night, and that they were very sorry, but if it was any consolation they had kittens to adopt. They also sent me a generic sympathy card.

    They said they had had a cat on metacam for 14 years without any problems before they heard it could make cats sick, and that this had never happened to them before. I wish they had stressed to me that this could potentially kill my cat.

    I have unbelievable guilt that I'm not sure I can get over. Originally I was going to chose a pill medication but switched it to liquid to hopefully make it easier for Petunia to swallow. If I had stuck with the pill she would be fine, and would have gotten something else besides metacam.

    I was also giving it to her in her mouth and letting her eat instead of mixing it with food. I didn't want my other cats to eat her medication.

    Later I heard that putting metacam into the mouth of a small dog could cause renal failure.

    Looking back she had symptoms of being sick that I didn't recognize for what they were. She was acting tired, but I thought she was just resting as my cats like to sleep a lot. I saw her urinate and it struck me that it might be more than the normal amount for her, but again I wasn't sure.

    I didn't always see her use the litter box and I have another cat that urinates heavily at times and he is fine. I thought the symptoms of kidney problems were that cats couldn't go, but that's not true as I found out later. She also felt lighter but she was 13 pounds and I had been told that she should loose weight so I believed that it wasn't that bad. She was eating a little and drinking, but it turns out she was badly dehydrated from her kidney problem.

    I believed she'd survive this because she was playing and even eating a little bit. I'd also had a cat previously that lived for quite a while with kidney problems. He was near 20 when he had to be put to sleep, Petunia was only 8.

    I feel like it's my fault she died even though people are telling me it isn't, and that if I had gotten her to the vets earlier she would have made it.

    I feel guilty that she died all alone in the vets office at night when she was terrified to even go to the vets.

    She only trusted me, and would hide under her cat bed when ever anyone else came over. I was supposed to protect her and I let her down badly.

    I really miss her and love her and feel like the worst person ever for causing her pain. I just wish I could see her again one last time to tell her that I'm sorry.

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    seanorjohn 5 years ago

    So many cats are so sadly missed but not forgotten.Hope you have some great photos of Begie, Julia. I have some beautiful photos of my beloved Oscar which were taken by my daughters.It is a great comfort. Hope everyone has these treasured mementoes

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    Yia 5 years ago

    @Julia, that made me cry. You are right, no matter how long they live, it's never enough time. You wrote such a lovely, lovely story and clearly Begie was a dearly loved character. I enjoyed it so much. My two remaining cats will be 16 soon, and Dorsi they have recovered from their various ailments and are as perky as kittens at the moment. Long may it last. @Jon, I hope you feel better soon, I'm glad Popov didn't suffer, I'm still racked by guilt that I didn't take my Lal to the vet, she died in my arms but it was hard for her and I'm finding it hard to forgive myself for that.xx

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    Julia 5 years ago

    My Bandit, my Begie, Freddie Fred, Mr.B.

    I really miss you. I had you since I was 10 years old. I remember you from the very day my sister brought you home. You were such a tiny little black and white kitty. And you were meant to be for Janene. You kept coming over to me, and making my sister mad because you were her cat. I remember the first time you fell asleep on my chest. You were so tiny. And when my sister moved back home with you, I was so happy. You would sneak away from her room and go into mine. Finally she gave up and gave you to me. I remember when mom would wake me up for school, and she would turn on the night and you would come running and jump on the bed and kiss me and head butt me and purr and purr. My mom would say Bandit go wake up Julia. I remember when you peed on my Barbie’s, and I told you I am not speaking to you. Playing house with you, and trying to dress you up as a baby, and you did not like that. But I would brush you afterwards to make up for dressing you up. One day I played hair dresser with you, and put hair gel in you fur, and made it all spikey…and when Janene saw what I did…well she killed me and made me wash out your fur. I thought she would like your new hair style, instead she said, “why does he look so frizzed?”. And you peeing on my backpack, and going on the school bus and everyone saying ewew something smells. I remember one day saying to my brother and his friend Max how much I love Bandit, I love, love, love , love Bandit, and Max telling me “if you love him so much then why don’t you Marry him” and I said fine I will. And I told my sister I am going to Marry Bandit, and she said “No, no….first he has to be your boyfriend, and then he has to be your fiancé, and then you can get Married to him” So I told family that Bandit is my boyfriend…I could not figure out why they looked concerned ? . When I was a teenager and never around, I would always wake up with you in my bed. I always use to say to you, how I wish you were human, because you would be the best boyfriend. When I would cry, you would be there, and when I was sick you would be there. You were there for a long time in my life. And when I moved away from home, I always thought of you, and one day living with you again. And then you did get to live with me again, for three more years. I would have gotten you sooner, but at the time Stephen had Snoogans, and he was a really hyper cat, and I did not know Snoogans well enough at that time. I was scared of what he might do to you, and as time went on Snoogans calmed down, and I got to have you again. On Wednesday, February, 2nd 2012 you passed away in my arms. The pain in my heart and the loneliness I feel, I heard will one day get better, all I need is time. I really hope that I will get to be with you again. You were one of a kind. You lived to be 19 years old. Even if you were to live longer, I understand now, that there would never be enough time with you. I am thankful that I got to have you a second time in my life. I miss your kisses and purrs and waking up with you in the bed. I miss calling your name. I miss kissing you, and hugging you, and carrying you in my arms, and falling asleep with you. I miss you drinking out of my water glass. I would always have to bring two cups of water, one for me and one for you. I miss coming home and you being there. Reading a book or watching TV or a movie, you were there. Your daddy and brother miss you just as much as me. Your will always be in their hearts. Oh my Begie I really miss you so much. You really did have my heart. I miss you and I will love you for always, I will love you forever, as long as I am living in my heart and mind you will be.

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    Jon 5 years ago

    Thank you for all these messages. I am 46 and have a daughter and wife who are not cat people, but I am and my little fella passed away in his sleep coming up 12 years and I felt like I was hit by a truck and cry like a baby in the shower and on the way to work these past few days. He was such a carer and the way he generated that feeling in the air of contentment, joy, bliss, balance and love....I love you Popov. Daddy loves you

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Pamela) Hi Pam. Thanks for the great comment. Yes, they are Gods furry angels on Earth.

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    Pamela 5 years ago

    Was just reading everyone's stories, I am sorry for your sadness. I am skutch's mom. She was truly a joy, she made my heart smile. Take that love and joy and treasure that and put it out there in other parts of your life. Animals are Gods Angles on Earth they are truly a gift.

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Yia) Your comment made me laugh Yia. I got a visual on your "old pensioners home" lol. Thanks for the comment about "Dorsi's

    haven". That really made me feel good that this is a place of healing for you. Thank you SO much.

    @TENKAY) I'm so sorry. We can certainly relate to that feeling here.

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    TENKAY 5 years ago from Philippines

    Losing my kitty was the first death in the family. She was with us for 2 weeks only. I was only 16 years old that time and it was my first pet. I cried the whole day...

    Condolence.

    Thanks for sharing.

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    Yia 5 years ago

    @ michelle, it does get better. I lost my little cat last Halloween, she was fifteen years old and Dorsi's haven here really helped me. I miss her terribly but the pain has lessened. I have her two brothers to contend with now, it's like an old pensioners home here. One got an infected bite in his tail that he wouldn't leave alone so he's now traipsing around with a big plastic cone collar that rattles every time he shakes his head, which he does every minute or so, grrrrrr, and the other got cut on his forehead yesterday and came in from outside covered in blood and faeces. We have no idea what happened to him (well, we think the magpies got him while he was doing his business, he's completely deaf and can't hear anything creeping up on him) and he's in shock! They are like two old crocks at the moment. All the shenanigans have helped me not dwell on their sister. We all love her dearly but now we remember the good times and the funny times instead of the sadness.xx

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @ivyspice) Oh Ivy I am so sorry about Luna and I know what you mean- there are some that are very very special to us - just like people in our lives. It will get better in time. I know how hard it is. RIP Luna.

    @michelle) Your welcome michelle and I'm glad you feel a little better writing about Buddy. I am so sorry. RIP Buddy.

    Those feelings will be around for awhile because it is so fresh. You never forget though - I still miss Perdy and think of her when I am outside doing certain things. The pain is not as bad though with the passing of time.

    @jake) I am so sorry Jake.

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    michelle 5 years ago

    now i dont want to go outside because i can just see him everywhere.on the porch sun bathing or whinning for some more food after i just gave him a bowl of it and some cat treats.or giving me hugs.i miss him so much now i dont know what to do and i dont want to go anywhere or i'll start crying

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    michelle 5 years ago

    i just lost my cat yesterday. He was a 5 year old cat.he was my best friend then he got hit on the road. He survived but he got really sick and stopped eating or drinking.Now i feel that its my fault hes dead and every now and then i cry for him.I now how you feel and Perdy sounded like a good cat.I got my cat from a 5 kitten litter though and he stole my heart.Now i feel empty he was the last of my cats.Were going to get a new one but it wont be the same.i had taught Buddy many tricks to like giving hugs and helping me herd in my chickens.I feel much better i got everything out of my system. thankyou

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @everyone) Thank you for all the comments here. I pray for all of you in your grief. I'll be answering them when I'm back in about a week. I am taking a much needed break from the Internet to collect my thoughts:)

    Posted Feb.3,2012

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    jake 5 years ago

    my cat just died:( i really don't know what to do i feel terribly sad.there are a lot of cats here in our home but she was my only pet. every time i arrive she comes at the gate to welcome me. i am crying while writing this i know atis will never come back;(

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    ivyspice 5 years ago

    It's somewhat comforting to come across this blog where other people understand how in a house of cats there's often a really special one you bond with very closely. That was my Luna in my house. She was diagnosed with an ear infection in December which was later suspected to be a polyp and while waiting on biopsy results to decide which operation she needed to remove it, she died. That was early Tuesday morning and my boyfriend and I had to witness the entire thing. It was terribly traumatic as she suddenly started gasping and choking for air but her heart was beating so fast. I tried resuscitating her as my boyfriend drove to the vet but it did no good and even though she had a faint heartbeat when we arrived, they couldn't bring her back. We still don't know if it was actually a tumor or cancer that the vet biopsied and he is performing a post mortem, but it's tearing me up inside because I saw 4 vets and they all said a polyp wouldn't kill her, but she's no longer with me anymore. She wasn't even 3 years old yet either. I have her sister from the same litter and they were so close, but no cat will ever fill the void that Luna left me with. She was the most beautiful Snow Bengal and the sweetest and silliest cat I'd ever encountered in my life. I just hope the grief turns into acceptance soon.

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @loni) I'm so sorry. I know it's heartbreaking but I am glad he had you there to comfort him. RIP sweet Dracula.

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    loni 5 years ago

    sorry about your loss! I know how it feels since I will never know how my cat Dracula passed away on Friday 20th 2012 at 6:38am ...he was only five years old!

    I went into the bathroom to see him take his last breaths in my arms! the past few days have been the worst in my life! :'(

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @lynne) I am so sorry. RIP Otto.

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    lynne griffen 5 years ago

    my dollface otto my cat had to put to sleep april 27 2010 it was one of the worst days of my life cause i wanted to be there when they put him to sleep i picked him up and told otto how special he is he put his paws around my neck he knew something was going to happen oh my god i didn't want to let otto go to this day j miss otto and love him with all my heart he was only 13 years old

    h

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Pamela) what a beautiful comment. Thank you.

    @sarah) I am SO sorry, how traumatic. RIP Pebbels. I pray you can find some peace through this.

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    sarah hall 5 years ago

    early hours of this morning my partner witness our cat getting ran over, died on impact. he brought her lifeless body home still warm! i have never cried so much in my life over any thing, she was our first cat we had her since a kitten brought for my sons 3rd birthday and my 3 yearold who hasn't had her even a year has and is handeling the loss alot more then myself. R.I.P Pebbels 15/1/2012 x x x x

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    Pamela 5 years ago

    Missing Skutch reading all these stories it is truly wonderful to know all of these creatures were loved so much I wish they all were Animals are Gods angels on earth

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @dDIY) Thanks for reading. I hope the article helps her. I know how it feels)

    @Lynne) I'm so sorry. That's so sad. RIP Otto.

    @Pamela) Oh I am so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. It was an accident and I know how you feel. RIP Skuthie. He sounds like such a sweet little soul.

    Thank you K) RIP to all our sweet fur-babies and friends. They are very missed by all of us.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    yeah sorry

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    5 years ago

    Thank you so much for sharing your story.. I just lost my Milo of 10yrs yesterday. The pain is difficult and part of me felt it wasn't normal to hurt this much. Milo had a full and I believe happy, lazy life.. I guess its just me missing him and coming to grips with not seeing him anymore. It really does hurt.. Thank you again.. Perdy's spirit is still strong :) I hope that brings you comfort..

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    Pamela 5 years ago

    I am very sorry for you losing your sweet baby Perdy.

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    Pamela 5 years ago

    I just lost my little kitten Skutch he was hit by a car Two days ago I am truly heart broken and upset that I did not make her strictly an inside cat. All my cats always get out through my doggie door it has been there for 25 years and there is no cover on it. My kids and invent out to a farm last year and and took him home there were cats of all ages ans sizes. Skitch was a scrawny tiger cat just laying on a bail of hay. The lady said he's not much to look at but he's always like that. We decided to take him. He had flees mites respiratory infection and worms. After a few months of care he was on his way to being the moat lovable funniest mischievous kitten. He would sit with you at your computer in your room no matter where u were he would find a spot. He would get into everything, once when he did not come when I called him I went looking found him three houses down in my neighbors garage in the attic with the stairs closed. I knew he would always come when he heard my. Pice and if he didn't something was not right. The day he for hit I took a walk looking for him I think he heard me calling him and started running home and got hit it pains me to think about it. I am grateful I found him I think he knew I would. He knew he was so loved I should of protected him and kept him in, and we would still have this little girl who brought all of us so much joy. It is so hard to think that he is gone. I have not told my kids yet they are away they will be heart broken. The idea she was running to his mom breaks my heart she loved us all so much and she gave us immense joy. I love you Skuthie

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    lynne 5 years ago

    my sweet otto had to put to sleep april 27 2010 that was one of the worst days of my life cause i stay with my otto to they put him to sleep he knew cause he put his paws around my neck i cant say much more just i kept talking to otto telling him how much i love him and how special he is only 13 years old i had one cat now and he loved otto too

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    DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA

    Hi Dorsi,

    I found myself reading this because one of my friends lost her fur child Junior the day after Christmas and is inconsolable. Amazing how our little fur children worm their way into out hearts and become parts of our families! I'm going to send Susan this article, I think it will help.

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Oh Yia, thank you so much for the kind comment. It made my day! Glad to be of help.

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    Yia 5 years ago

    I have to say Dorsi that it is truly amazing how much this has helped me, you are an angel.

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Bob) I am so sorry about your beloved Kasey. Thank you for reading and commenting. RIP Kasey.

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    Bob 5 years ago

    What a great way to remember your special buddy. I am sorry for your loss and as a cat owner my self I can sympathize greatly. I just lost my beloved baby Kasey just 4 days ago on New Years eve, and I came across this post while searching up things about cat loss on google. I have been so distraught and at a huge loss for words since he was just six and pretty damn healthy. He was an always affectionate baby who lived his days to make me happy and be my companion. Sorry for you losing Perdy, it is a little settling I guess to know other people feel the same way as I do though.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    happy new year and i feel happy to know that our buddies are spending chistmas and new year with jesus

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Your welcome Katherine - and thank you!

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    katherine 5 years ago

    Thank you for posting theis beautiful story...hugs xoxo

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Aze) Thank you so much for the kind comment. It's people like you that inspire me to write more about life experiences. Thank you again and I'm glad I could be of some help to you.

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    AzeRoth 5 years ago

    And thank you again, Your story has inspired me to get through life without my kitty, although i'm still mourning.

    Though there will be hard times when i need my kitty...I will always refer back to reading this, thinking about things, and getting back up on my feet and continuing to my goal.

    I am very touched. :)

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Sean) I am so sorry about Oscar. I am glad you have some great photos of him. RIP Oscar.

    @Feral Lover) Thanks so much for the very kind words. Glad this helped.

    @Aze) I am so sorry about George. I know what you mean, there is no "replacing" them - ever. RIP George and glad you came by and found some solace here Aze.

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    AzeRoth 5 years ago

    I just lost my kitty, 4 years old, Black and white, named George....he got ran over by a car, and i found him by a phone poll, he was a very lovely kitty and right now i still cry about it, i will always miss this cat....he will never ever be replaced, thank you, Dorsi, this helped my alot, and sorry about your Perdy. :'(

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    Feral Lover 5 years ago

    Dorsi, this is really comforting to read, knowing that other people know what it is like. Very well written. RIP Perdy.

    THANK YOU. This is a huge help.

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    seanorjohn 5 years ago

    Some heartbreaking stories about much loved cats deaths here. I witnessed our very first cat die when it was run over by a speeding motorist. I can remember every painful second of its horrible death. It haunts me still.I am so glad my daughters took such wonderful photos of Oscar. It is a real comfort to have them and remember what a great cat he was.

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Jenk) I'm sorry

    @Patricia) I'm sorry about Mr. Chip. RIP Chip

    @Sarah) RIP sweet Precious. I know how hard it is, they are part of our family and losing them is like losing a piece of us.

    @Feral Lover) I hope he shows up - you never know. Let's hope for the best. Thanks for coming by and reading.

    Oh Rebecca my sincerest condolences on the loss of Mushu. Sounds like he was such a sweet kitty baby.

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    Rebecca 5 years ago

    I lost my kitten, Mushu today.

    He was hit by a car. And to think. Just minutes before I found him, I was holding him against my chest, and he was purring to me.

    Mushu was a rescue cat. A family brought him in to be uthenized, but the vet refused. So he gave him to us.

    Mushu took to his new home immediately. He loved us all. He followed me to the bus stop every day, and when I let him, he would sit on my shoulder and have a ride. We had a litter of puppies not long after we got Mushu. He and them would play with each other for hours, until the pups wore out. However, once they grew up, he decided it wasn't as fun as he thought. Mushu was by far the sweetest kitten I've ever met. His favorite spot was to be on my shoulder, he let me hug him even though I'm pretty sure he didn't like it, and he followed me everywhere. He liked playing in boxes. I remember the first time found him playing in one. I reached down to pick it up, and it moved. He was on his back, packed very tightly. I almost tried to help him up, but he was enjoying himself too much.

    I found him today, lying out in the road. I'll never forget it. My dad burried him out in the pasture, next to Fiddle, the dog my sister lost to a car.

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    Feral Lover 5 years ago

    Hi, my feral cat has been missing for almost a month now, I miss her dearly. She lives outside and gave me such joy. Sorry to hear about Perdy. You must miss her. It's rough.

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    Sarah 5 years ago

    Dorsi, thank you for sharing your story of Perdy. Adorable pictures. One of our cats, "Precious" passed away almost 2 weeks ago. We made the decision to put her down because she was so sick, her liver was failing. "Angel" our other cat misses her so much and of course so do we. They grew up together. Precious was only 7 1/2 years old and she had never been sick. It was very sudden and unexpected. We got a photo book of her made, a paw print and got her cremated. She will be very much missed.

    The other day, I was watching a video of her and our other cat angel started to watch the video! It made me cry. So hard for anyone who loses a pet. She was much more than a pet, she was more a best friend and our baby.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    patricia im so sorry i love cats i understand

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    patricia 5 years ago

    thank you fo the story. i lost my cat, mr chip yesterday, i had him for 15 years and my heart is so broken i can't even function. i loved him so much, he was my child and i know time will make it better but right now i feel like i will never recover.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    Mollys death just seems to get harder the only way i can sleep is when i cry myself to sleep if i keep it up i might get dehydrated

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Flynn) I'm sorry. Did your kittie show up yet?

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    flynn i really hope u find your bundle of joy

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    Flynn 5 years ago

    My cat Billie runaway and has not come back and I can not sleep what should I do by the way he is black and White if you see him please bring him back to 29 berry square

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @jenk) Thanks for reading and remembering all of our fur-babies.

    @Laura) I am so sorry about Lexi Boo and so glad you found us other cat lovers. Please come back whenever you feel like talking. RIP Lexi Boo.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    laura i am terribly sorry

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    Laura 5 years ago

    I was searching "coping with loss of cat" on google and your story popped up and thank God it did.I thought i was over reacting when I cried hysterically when my 5 year old cat,Lexi Boo,passed away tonight but thankfully im not the only one soooo in love with their pets.I loved her so much.I called myself her mom and defended her as if she really was my child.She was a cat with an attitude but she was awesome.I'm so glad i came across your page because it makes things so much easier.Thank you.

    P.s

    I miss you Lexi Boo,Love mommy

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    my aunts 14 year old cat died reached out towards heaven then curled up rip lucy

    rip 1 year old sparkie

    rip 2 year old zippy

    rip 1 year old leopard

    RIP EVERYONE

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    Xiomara) Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sorry about Lizzy. RIP Lizzy and Perdy.

    @romari)I am so sorry. I think they are in heaven too.

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    Rose Maria Rica D. Fuentes 5 years ago from Heaven

    Uh oh it's so sad. I've been taking care of cats since I was a kid. And I've experienced the pain of loosing a pet that is so lovely and cute just like a cat. But the best thing to do is to move on.

    Just think Perdy's in heaven now. My cat also died but we never found his dead body. I think he went away for me not to see his dying moment.

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    Xiomara 5 years ago

    Hi Dorsi, word cannot express how sad I feel. I am so sorry for your loss. The story about her short stays made me cry, all of her pictures are beautiful. I lost my baby girl Lizzy on 7/2/2009 and I can't describe the pain I have, and feel for losing my dog. I know that Perdy and you shared the most beautiful feelings, love/caring/kindness and compassion. Thank you for writing this beautiful story about Perdy.

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @cathy) Thank you for such kind words and my condolences on your precious bunny.

    @Gizelle) I'm sorry. RIP Sunbae.

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    GizelLe 5 years ago

    i saw my cat dead before i comment here, and i feel so so guilty..i dnt know why..maybe i love him so much..RIP Sunbae :))

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    cathyjoy 5 years ago

    So sorry for your loss words cannot describe how deep the bond is that we share with our beloved pets, after all they are a very important part of our family, I lost my beautiful house bunny fiver nearly 2wks ago I'm still crying now I believe we WILL meet again some sunny day.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    thank you

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    perdy sure is perdy!

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    i am greiving for perdy im so sorry

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    Dorsi Diaz 5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @jenkimak) I am so sorry about Molly. You came to the right place to talk about her. RIP Molly May Meridathia Moskito Mary Martha Munchie Marie.

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    jenkimak 5 years ago

    oh my God im reading these stories and im bawling my eyes out im so sorry everyone im even more depressed now WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH