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Funny Public Toilet Graffiti

Updated on January 5, 2013

Public Conveniences

Public Toilets are often given a bad reputation and to be totally honest most of them thoroughly deserve that accolade. Filthy places with human waste on the walls and on the floor not to mention some of the shady goings on between consenting adults in some toilets.

Public toilets are places where you have to wash your hands before you go then have to have a bath or a shower after you have taken care of business and left.

On the upside though public toilets are the place to visit if you are feeling down and in need of a good laugh, public toilets are full of very creative graffiti that always puts a smile on your face.

Although graffiti in any public place is wrong and should not be condoned in any way, it sure can be funny to read, from simple one liners full on funny poetry there is often something there to tickle your funny bone.

Everything on this page is taken from actual graffiti on public toilet walls.

Toilet Graffiti

Seen on a stall door in a female toilet.
Seen on a stall door in a female toilet. | Source

Toilet Humor One Liners

One liners are often well though out and sometimes get you thinking like the one I personally saw in a theatre after going to a pantomine with my children recently. " My poop smells worse than your poop, Oh yes it does!" and someone else has replied "Oh no it doesn't" a typical pantomime retort.

other one liners include.

"Warning If you sit on this toilet seat you may get pregnant" seen on a toilet seat.

"press Button for bacon" seen on a hand dryer.

"Insert baby for a full refund" seen on the coin slot of a condom machine.

"Don't beam me up yet Scotty I am having a pe..................." seen above a urinal.

"Beware of the limbo dancers" on the bottom of a stall door above the gap.

Spelling error on toilet door. "Please wriggle Handel" another person wrote below this "Why will Handel wriggle Bach?"

"The guy in the next stall just done a poo! I heard the splash" written on a stall wall.

"The future of the country is in your hands" written above a line of urinals.

" Toilet seats are all fully tested, I peed on all of them and yes they are waterproof" written on the inside of a toilet seat in a ladies room

Toilet Humor

Even the watercooler isn't safe from the graffiti prankster.
Even the watercooler isn't safe from the graffiti prankster. | Source

Those who write on toilet walls

Should roll their poop in little balls

And those who read these words of wit

Should eat these little balls of XXit


Haiku found on a toilet wall.

Haiku is easy

But sometimes they make no sense



Toilet Humor Poems

Toilet graffiti wouldn't be toilet graffiti without the toilet poet, waxing lyrical whilst doing your business is a real art especially if your words run as smoothly as what is coming out of the other end of you.

Here I sit

Cheeks a flexin

Squeezin' out

Another Texan.


You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And pooped my pants!


Here I sit What a caper

I have to poop

But there is no paper


Some come here to sit and think
Some come here to poop and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls
And read the writing on the Walls.


Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because somebody stole the paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger


One would think with all this wit that Shakespeare was here to take a sh**.


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    • TolovajWordsmith profile image

      Tolovaj Publishing House 3 years ago from Ljubljana

      Thanks for good laugh and good morning to you too:)

    • TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

      Sondra Rochelle 5 years ago from USA

      Cute one! I guess people have more time on their hands than we realize!

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      "Here I sit all broken hearted,

      Tried to poop but only farted!"

      This was the first one I ever saw...

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 5 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Ha! ha! Good collection. I have heard a few of these little rhymes.

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 5 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks for your comments guys I am glad that you kept them out of the toilet lol.....jimmy

    • Gordon Hamilton profile image

      Gordon Hamilton 5 years ago from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, United Kingdom

      I remember, Jimmy, when it used to be commonplace in Edinburgh for the pubs to have blackboards and chalk provided for customer use in the Gents - probably to prevent the walls being painted! :) It's still available in some places, so far as I know, though I'm a bit out of touch these days. One of the best I ever saw was a comment written at just below eye level stating: "Follow this line." The line then went way along to the left before heading up to the comment, "You are now peeing down your left leg." That's a true story and I saw it regularly in Edinburgh. I even got to chuckle once at one guy who truly fell victim to it and his cursing as I happened to be in the Gents' at the same time... :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Ever so often when I am in a funny mood I come over to see your latest! Haha! and you never fail to entertain me, so thanks Jimmy! lol!

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 5 years ago from sunny Florida

      O, my. that's about all...o my. Chuckling. A bit indelicate but I am wondering, how did you have enough time to collect all these? Just askin'??