ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Make A Bib Necklace

Updated on August 17, 2010

I unashamedly ripped this title off Perri Lewis' Guardian Column, but it's okay because I'm linking right back to it. If you want to actually make a bib necklace, you should check out her instructions, they're probably very good.

I browse a lot of fashion blogs, but not many of them make me laugh, mostly because fashion is patronized by people who take it incredibly seriously. Taking things incredibly seriously is good if you're an airline pilot, or an astronaut, or a brain surgeon, but if your only job is draping fabric over other human beings, or even one step removed from that and merely involves looking at how fabric is draped over other human beings and then commenting about how the fabric has been draped according to an arbitrary set of judgments about the attractiveness of the aforementioned fabrics, then I reckon you don't get to take yourself seriously.

When I saw the 'Bib Necklace' line, I creased the sides of my mouth slightly, which is going to bite me in the ass later on in life when I'm shrivelled up like an old prune, but sometimes you have to let yourself go.

Bib necklace. What a delightful and descriptive name. There needs to be more fashion out there that reminds us of the innocence of our youth, when people would be ecstatic if we fell asleep and a little lemon juice could really mess up a whole damn day. (Babies hate lemon juice, except for the ones that have no souls. Soulless babies, that is. Not lemons. No lemons have souls.)

I read Perri's article with gusto. According to Perri, one needs to have some serious concentration skills in order to sew beads onto bits of felt. Because that's what a bib necklace is, it's basically a piece of fabric shaped like a baby's bib that you wear around your neck. And so you don't actually look like an infant whilst you're out looking fierce on the pavement, you need to sew shinies onto it so it looks sophisticated.(Perri also says that after you've made your own bib necklace you'll never buy a beaded necklace for under fifty pounds again, which seems like a ridiculous claim given that fifty pounds is almost a hundred US dollars these days, and spending a hundred dollars on a beaded necklace is one of the signs of the apocalypse.)

Bib necklaces are however undoubtedly sophisticated. Don't believe me? You don't have to. The one pictured being worn by the sallow and morose model in the picture was made by Vera Wang. Vera freakin' Wang. When Vera Wang gets involved, I know I'm deep in fashion territory.

With bib necklaces out of the way, it's only a matter of time before diamante diapers hit the catwalks.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)