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Sweaters, Cardigans and Knitwear Nightmares. More Weird Fashion and Glamour

Updated on November 23, 2013

Knitwear will be Massive This Christmas!

This winter knitwear is HOT. Christmas is predicted to see a record breaking number of sweaters and cardigans given as gifts.

Of course knitted garments are wonderful. The sweater and the cardigan are universally popular, evergreen favorites particularly in colder climates. But lets face it, sometimes knitting is just plain bad!

Whether its down to Granny’s failing eyesight, her colour blindness or the inability to measure accurately, the promised sweater just doesn’t look remotely like the original pattern in the knitting magazine.

OK, so you may not look exactly like the hunky guy or shapely hottie in the magazine picture, but that doesn't explain why it just doesn't fit. Maybe the knitter just kept going rather than stopping at waist height? Perhaps they lost count knitting the extra short right arm?

Anyway, the result is that the finished garment looks more like a multicoloured sack reaching down to your knees than the flattering, figure hugging garment in the picture.

Granny's Knitting Magazine Nightmares
Granny's Knitting Magazine Nightmares

Present Danger

We've all been there. Its Christmas day and a relative hands us a familiar feeling gift-wrapped parcel. Its kind of bulky and springy. You know as you begin to remove the paper what it is.

Your mouth adjusts to a rictus grin as you rip away the reindeer paper to reveal a multicoloured garment of fearsome proportions.

"Well try it on dear," she urges.

You can see your siblings snickering into their sherry and mince pies. You put the thing on and you look like a Christmas tree.

"Oh that looks lovely," she says, proudly.

You grin like an idiot, secretly imagining the hideous thing burning brightly in the wood burner next to the Christmas tree.

Custom Cardigans  or Pimp My Pussy?

Space Invaders Sweater
Space Invaders Sweater

One of the delights of knitwear is the degree it can be customised. From a busy nativity scene to a portrait of a favourite pussy. Or perhaps a favoured computer game?

The trouble is knowing when to stop. Just what is too much colour or too elaborate a design? What seemed lovely to Granny may well be a social disaster in the school yard or the high school hop.

Can you ever be cool again if you're seen in the mall or shopping centre with a large pussy cat on your chest or a scene from Star Wars on your back?

Is Knitting or Crochet Ever Sexy?
Is Knitting or Crochet Ever Sexy?

When Knitting Got Trendy!

Somewhere between the 1960s and 80s knitting got trendy. Elderly relatives started making hot pants and mini-dresses. But then can knitted garments every be really fashionable?

It's a bit like trying to make a scene from Star Wars with Lego. You can see what its supposed to be but it still remains a little scene made from plastic bricks rather than being true Sci Fi with CGI realism.

This may be why you don't see Keira Knightley at the premier of a blockbuster movie in a colourful sweater or Kate Moss on the catwalk in crocheted knickers and bra.

When Knitting Magazines go Wild! - Sexy Little Knits
When Knitting Magazines go Wild! - Sexy Little Knits
Fun Christmas Sweater!
Fun Christmas Sweater!

When Knitting Got Sexy!

From the idea that you can make trend-setting clothing from a pair of needles and some brightly coloured wool, came the idea that knitwear could be truly erotic.

After all, if you could knit a Carnaby Street look-alike mini-dress, then why not knit lingerie and sexy underwear?

One problem of course is the materal. Knitwear is notoriously itchy. Particularly next to the skin. Most of us, if we wear knitwear at all, wear something comfortable, like cotton or silk, between us and the itchy wool.

Perhaps the itchiness itself is part of the appeal? Time spent lounging seductively in knitted knickers, corset and stockings, awaiting ones lover's arrival might be strangely arousing and stimulating? But then again if he gets held up in traffic you might end up with a serious rash!

Whatever our past experience of knitwear - I predict knitted garments will be massive this Christmas.

Zealous husbands and boyfriends could actually craft lingerie for their lover without the embarrassment of going into a store or the expense of buying from Victoria's Secret.

So come on guys. Get some wool and start knitting ladies' undies. Lets show our women just how much we really appreciate them!

Knitwear - Your Chance to Have Your Say

How Do You Feel About Wearing Wool?

See results

Knitted Swimwear - Dare You Swim In It?

Knitted Swimwear by Erica Laurell
Knitted Swimwear by Erica Laurell
Fabulous Christmas Sweater with lots of bright colours!
Fabulous Christmas Sweater with lots of bright colours!
It Takes Real Courage for a Couple to Wear Matching Knitwear Like This!
It Takes Real Courage for a Couple to Wear Matching Knitwear Like This!


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    • Rik Ravado profile imageAUTHOR

      Rik Ravado 

      8 years ago from England

      Thanks for this StamperGrandma. You and Sandi S Make a good point that knitted garments don't need to be made of wool. May you both be productive knitters for many years to come and thanks for stopping by!

    • profile image

      Sandi S. 

      8 years ago

      Knitted garments do not have to be made from wool, and even if they are, there are dozens of blends that do not itch. You can have angora, merino, llama,or others that you can wear next to the skin with no discomfort especially if you have an allergy to sheep's wool. I've made literally 100s of items over the past 50 years and must do something right as I get constant requests from family and friends for lingerie, sweaters, scarves and other items. Yes, many of the requests are for items with pictures or illusion knitting pictures.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I love knitting period. I really don't care what comes off my needles it's the process of making a fabric out of a hank of yarn that I like. There are many other beautiful useful objects to make intead of the dreaded christmas sweater. Have you ever made a pair of hand knitted socks for yourself and discovered what all the comotion is about. Try it, I suspect you'll want to make more. For the more tropical climates, there are a mirad of yarn choices for shawls, wraps, spa cloths, soap saks, dish towels, linnens, throws, etc to make. Nothing can stop a knitter!!

    • Rik Ravado profile imageAUTHOR

      Rik Ravado 

      9 years ago from England

      Ivorwen Yes there is a fine dividing line between a sweater or hat that is 'cool' and one that is 'weird' and embarassing. I think knitting pictures or lingerie takes real courage! Wearing knitted swimwear is something else!

    • Ivorwen profile image


      9 years ago from Hither and Yonder

      I love knitting, and hand knit items, but am sticking to solid colors, sweaters and socks! Except when it comes to hats. Boys seem to like stripey crazy hats, as long as they are not lacey.

    • Rik Ravado profile imageAUTHOR

      Rik Ravado 

      10 years ago from England

      2Patrcias - Yes I think knitting will be increase in popularity in 2009 if only because its a way of saving money in hard times.

    • 2patricias profile image


      10 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      Love you choice of illustrations! I remember knitting myself a mini-skirt in the 60's (was very young at the time, of course). I knitted a lot then, mostly because it was an affordable way to expand the wardrobe. There were wool shops in all towns. They would put away wool, so that you could spread the cost.

    • Rik Ravado profile imageAUTHOR

      Rik Ravado 

      10 years ago from England

      Knitted swimwear is a whole new ballgame Vivenda - particularly if you take to the water! Here is a link and I've added a photo below:

    • Vivenda profile image


      10 years ago from UK (South Coast)

      ...then there was the time, 'way back in the 1930s (not that I remember it personally, you understand!), that my mother knitted herself a swimsuit.  Apparently it looked great!  That is, until she went into the water, when it did what wool does best - became water-logged, and stretched.  In the words of a popular song which, unfortunately, I DO just about remember: "She was afraid to come out of the water."  She has knitted many colourful sweaters for all of us since (shut up, Rik!) but she's never attempted a swimsuit again.

    • Rik Ravado profile imageAUTHOR

      Rik Ravado 

      10 years ago from England

      Yes - woolly sweaters are big here in the UK because we get such cold winters. It is definitely sweater weather at present - hence they often end up as Christmas presents!

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      10 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I've had one or two knits in my entire life and that's just about it. The Philippines is a tropical country so knitwear fashion did not actually prosper in the past or in recent memory. And the itchiness is part of the deal - fashion was probably never intended to be cmfortable specially with knits! :D


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