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Crazy Crayon College

Updated on January 2, 2013

WELCOME TO CRAZY CRAYON COLLEGE

Who says grown-ups don't know how to play?

Here at Crazy Crayon College, we encourage inner imps to come out and play, color outside the lines, and cross their i's or dot their t's whenever they please!

By the way, keep your eyes peeled for the "Crayon Monster" -- 'cause he's known to pilfer and pounce on those pretty pieces you've got your eye on in someone else's paws!

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Image Credit: http://mediaslap.com/images/brushes/72/large.jpg

Wanna See A Crazy Crayon Critter? - C'mon I dare ya to say hello...

"Dillytop, The Delightful Ditzy Dragon could hardly wait to get her hands on a box of crayons and make marvelous masterpieces on the wall, the ceiling, and the front door!

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Image Credit: Lyn Stone - lynstone-illustrator.blogspot.com/Alkanet

KNOCK KNOCK ... - HOW ABOUT LETTING YOUR INNER CHILD COME OUT AND PLAY?

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Image Credit: Chud Tsankov Illustration at flickr.com

THERE'S WISDOM IN WAX!

"We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box."

SO SMARTY PANTS, WHAT'S A CRAYON?

A crayon is much more than a tallow tool. It's a tantalizing treat for talented tots and considered a troublesome chore to remove from floors and walls by grown-ups.

A humble crayon (by the name of Conte, that's with a french accent over the "e"), was born in Europe several centuries ago. As fate would have it, the crayon gave starving artists and doodlebugs a reason for being besides signing up to fight another war or waiting for Godot to show up and tell them what to do. During the nineteenth century however, when things got a bit bleak and boring, the crayon emigrated to America to seek a more fulfilling and rewarding life as a "Crayola crayon".

The crayon is a wonderful tool for writing or drawing on glossy surfaces such as porcelain (Mum's fine china or a bath tub), glass (a bedroom window, or a plate glass store window), not to mention painted or stucco walls of any kind (found at home, at kindergarten, or at work).

And here's a tidbit of trivia, a crayon will melt at 120 degrees Fahrenheit or 40 degrees Centigrade (which is handy to know when you're popping them in the dryer, the microwave, or the stove as part of your next creative experiment).

Dictionary writers, politicians, and scientists all agree that a crayon is not a pencil, (even though the word "crayon" is the French word for pencil, and no wars have been waged lately to determine who who makes the biggest and best crayons in the world).

Not to put too fine a point on it, but police, parents and pedants have long expressed concern about the fact that there are far too many colorful characters out there with crayons in their hands making a mess of everything, (which is why rules and bylaws were created to curb the use of crayons in unauthorized places).

And lastly, a crayon comes in all shapes, sizes, and smells which is why it is given to grubby kids to keep them quiet and not to grumbling grown-ups who can't remember how to play.

And now a few words from a Crazy Crayon College Graduate!

"I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I am definitely the oldest!"

MOVIE QUOTE FROM "WAKING LIFE":

"It's like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now, you may get the 8-pak, or maybe you get the 16-pak, but it's all in what you do with the crayons --the colors-- that you're given. Now don't worry about coloring inside the lines or outside the lines. I say, color outside the lines! Color right off the page! Don't box me in."

A CRAZY CHARACTER ON THE SUBJECT OF CRAYONS

"The Simpson's", probably rings a bell, especially with anyone who still watches TV and has a satirical sense of humor.

Here's a dazzling bit of dialogue involving one of those crazy characters on the show, Ralph Wiggum:

Ralph: Miss Hoover?

Miss Hoover: Yes Ralph?

Ralph: I don't have a red crayon.

Miss Hoover: Why not.

Ralph: I ate it.

(LESSON FOR THE DAY: Those who consume crayons are probably the same ones who put them in a microwave, a toaster or a clothes dryer on the off chance that heating it might enhance the flavor.)

CRAYONING 101 - DO's & DON'Ts

Recommended for beginners:

GOT CRAYONS?

...just wondering because

I recently ran out of blue.

CRAYONING 101: Required Reading Material

The Crayon Box that Talked
The Crayon Box that Talked

If animals and crayons can talk...the world's a weird place!

 
Amber Brown Is Not a Crayon
Amber Brown Is Not a Crayon

Hmmm...have you met my friend Blizzard Blue?

 
Body Crayon Book (Klutz)
Body Crayon Book (Klutz)

For those who adore cosmetic crayons and bawdy art.

 
Crayons and Computers: Computer Art Activities for Children Ages 4 to 8
Crayons and Computers: Computer Art Activities for Children Ages 4 to 8

A prerequisite for those who want to learn how to connect the dots with ease and color inside the lines.

 
Tub Time Noah's Ark Bath Book with Bath Crayons
Tub Time Noah's Ark Bath Book with Bath Crayons

Rub a dub dub...it's time to draw in the bath tub!

 

CRAYONING 102: OVERCOMING YOUR FEAR OF COLOR

Recommended for those with Cockamammie Colorless Character Syndrome (CCCS) or those with Black and White Personality Disorder (BWPD)

HELLO...

who said I'm afraid

of yucky "YELLOW"?

CRAYONING 103: LEARNING TO DRAW INSIDE THE LINES

Recommended for those with a lax or libertine attitude to life. Note: Ability to keep crayons neat, not peel them, or consume them at recess is required.

CRAYONING 201: HOW TO GO BEYOND THE PURPLE PALATE

Recommended for those who wish to discover and explore the wonderful world of wild and wimpy colors that do not include variations on a theme of blue and red.

MY NAME IS VIOLET:COLOUR ME PURPLE!

Note: Purple People Eaters must bring a certificate from

a physician stating that they will not cannibalize their crayons.

CRAYONING 202: REMEDIAL SPELLING FOR CREATIVE CRITTERS

CRAYON CRITTERS, DON'T DO "SPELLING BEES"!

Prerequiste: Ability to recite the

"Sesame Street" alphabet without

skipping a beat or at least be willing

to draw a bowl of alphabet soup.

CRAYONING 301: SELF PORTRAITS FOR SNOOTY SO AND SOS!

If you think that inside every

artist is a child with a box of crayons,

you're right! So, what are you waiting for?

Sign up and color your world any way you want!

Prerequisite: Ability to stand in front

of a mirror and repeat, "Mirror mirror

on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

Even Dweebs Deserve Diplomas!

Even Dweebs Deserve Diplomas!
Even Dweebs Deserve Diplomas!

PURPLE CRAYONYMOUSE!

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Image Credit: Clip Art

OUR FACUTY: MEET THE DEAN OF DOODLES

Hugo Hopton-Wafers, Dean of Doodles

Bartholemew (a graduate of the Paint By Numbers University in Moose Factory, Ontario), has had a gifted artistic career as Cr8tive Director at the Connect-the-Dots Advertising Agency and Chief Pencil Pusher at the esteemed Wild West Wax Museum of Bandits & Broncos, not to mention serving as President of the International Society for Research Into Dabbling & Doodling (ISRDD) for the past 25 years and authoring several books of note including, "What's The Best Way To Get Melted Crayon Out Of A Dryer?", "150 Uses For Mature Crayons", and "How To Avoid Buying a Box of Crappy Crayons".

OUR FACULTY: MEET TOOTSY TWILLINGATE

Tootsy Twillingate, Professor of Poka Dots

Tootsy, (a former exotic entertainment professional at the Lady Marmalade Club in Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky), took up crayoning as a career at the tender age of 39 when she realized that opportunities for advancement were limited in her previous line of work.

Her Motto: If you can't find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, at least paint them with your broken crayons!

CRAYON COLOGNE?

"Smell a crayon and see where it takes you!"

WACKY WISDOM FROM THE CRAYON BOX

Wacky wisdom can often be found in odd places, for instance, a blessed box of crayons.

Linus and Lucy from the comic strip "Peanuts" have a few words to say on the importance of crayons in one's daily life:

Linus: How do you like the chocolate I made for you?

Lucy: It's terrible! It's too weak! It tastes like some warm water that's had a brown crayon dipped in it!

Linus (tastes it): You're right. I'll go put in another crayon.

* * *

Or how about these little lost lines buried beneath a newspaper column marked "Tidbits and Treats":

"I nailed down the crayon smell...it's that dirty foot cheese flavor". (Gratuitous graffiti scribbled on the wall of a blue cheese factory).

"Pink crayon stains on a sweathshirt do not a cool duded make." (An off-colour comment made by a feisty, finger-pointing fashionista that made it onto the front page of a Hollywood scandal sheet).

"Put your crayons away and grow-up. (A singularly loud party-pooping remark overheard at a formal dinner hosted by Big Bird and friends).

"'Burnt Sienna' just tastes like a crayon; it's not worth it!" (A tawdry tagline that didn't make it into the final cut for a popular TV cooking show titled, "Hell's Kitchen".)

"Take my advice, he's not the brightest crayon in the box." (A telling line from a stray email that wound up on everyone's inbox when the "reply all" was inadvertently hit by a high-ranking official in an unmentioned municipal planning department.)

C.R.I.M.E. stands for Crayon Renderings Implicate Mostly Everyone. (Title of a proposed policy brief to elected politicians in the hope of ending the scourge of crass crayon art decorating boring utility boxes, mundane mail bins, and the weary walls of neglected places of ease all located in a town called, "No Name".)

"How can I do my job when you only give me broken crayons. (You guessed it, those famous last words of the 'not the brightest crayon in the box' person.)

I take it this box of crayons doesn't have a Flesh crayon. (Anonymous complaint received in a kindergarten suggestion box, signed by "Smarty Pants".)

* * *

To conclude this deep musing exercise for today, here's an off-the-beaten track observation to reflect upon:

"We could all take a lesson from crayons. Some are bright, some are beautiful, some are dull, some are short, some are tall and some have weird names! But they all live in the same box."

HOW TO BE CREATIVE WITH CRAYONS

Everybody's born equal, they all get a crayon box, the real issue is what they're going to do with it that counts.

Some complain about the fact that they haven't got the right colors. Some blame their parents for not having been given genius status so they wouldn't have to go to kindergarten let alone school. Still others blame manufacturers for not providing them with a money-back guarantee of satisfaction before they'll use them.

The fact of the matter is that the universe provides many ways for all of us to be creative. All we need to do is take the first step; by the way, "what color is your parachute?"

Don't worry, even if your knowledge of color is limited to your adorable little "Purple People Eater" Halloween costume, you may have a future in fashion design or establish a nifty new non-profit: "The Positive Purple People Society"!

So without further ado, just follow the guidelines below:

1. Open your box of crayons, pick your favorite color and do something with it: draw or doodle, write a poem, or compose a song ...failing that tap it on a table to get a beat. (Hint: Drawing outside the lines, filling in the blanks, and thinking outside the box is OK, trust me).

2. Ignore what everyone else is doing and do your own schtick, (that's what makes you unique ...after all no one has ever seen a heffalump have they!)

3. You don't have to have a big idea, but it helps if it's a different way of doing something or another way of looking at the world, (thank goodness for itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis).

4. Don't wait for "The Great Pumpkin", the "Tooth Fairy" or "Santa Claus" to inspire you before you begin...after all, creative genius is inside everyone, so there's plenty to go around. (Hint: just talk to your inner child and ask it to come out and play!!!)

5. Know where to draw the red line that separates what you're willing to do and what you're not. (Knowing your boundaries is as important knowing how to get your creative juices flowing and how to have fun!)

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Image Credit: grrrdjules@flickr.com

Okay, so I can't dabble, doodle or draw... - Have a Happy Crayon Christmas - the Cookie Monster!

The Crazy Christmas Crayon Corner

2005 Hallmark Keepsake Christmas Ornament HAPPY HUES Crayola Crayons QXI6225
2005 Hallmark Keepsake Christmas Ornament HAPPY HUES Crayola Crayons QXI6225

Every crazy crayon critter deserves a place on your Christmas tree!

 
Harold at the North Pole (Harold and the Purple Crayon)
Harold at the North Pole (Harold and the Purple Crayon)

Harold and the Purple Crayon know where to find the best presents on earth!

 
Crayola 64ct Regular Crayon and Tin Set
Crayola 64ct Regular Crayon and Tin Set

Ooh la la a whole box of crayons for yours truly!

 

SOAP CRAYON RECIPE

SOAP CRAYON INGREDIENTS:

2 cups Ivory Soap (powder, flakes, or grated soap bars)

1 cup warm water (more or less for consistency)

Liquid food coloring (your choice)

Ice cube tray or cookie cutters and wax paper

SOAP CRAYON DIRECTIONS:

1. Mix the soap powder and water until thick and creamy.

2. Add food coloring and stir.

3. Pour mixture into ice cube trays or cookie cutters that have been placed on wax paper.

4. Let harden overnight.

5. Then carefully remove soap crayons.

6. Plop them into the bathtub for oodles of fine art, fun, frolic!

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Image Credit: aetern@flickr.com

Who says I can't make some "Funny Money"?

Who says I can't make some "Funny Money"?
Who says I can't make some "Funny Money"?

CREATIVE CRAYON RE-NAMING PROJECT

If you had to come up with a new crayon color and name what would it be?

See results

CRAZY CRAYON CORNER

Here are a few facts you probably didn't know about crayons.

1. Kids, aged 2-8 in the United States, spend an average of 28 minutes each day coloring, or 6.3 billion hours a year. (NOTE: No statistics are available on what proportion of time they spent eating them).

2. In February, 1996, the 100th billion Crayola crayon was made by Fred Rogers of "Mister Roger's Neighborhood". (NOTE: This revelation is important to Baby Boomers and their kids, however the "millenial" generation will not have a clue what we're talking about).

3. The scent of Crayola crayons is among the 20 most recognizable to American adults, according to a Yale University study...the first two being coffee and peanut butter. (NOTE: perhaps the latter smells are symbols of a healthy, prosperous, and grown-up society, however the fact that crayon scent ranked number 18 may suggest the existence of an inner child waiting to come out and play if only asked to do so).

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Source: B&S History and Crayola Trivia, May 2001.

Okay Smarty Pants, so how do you draw a blank?

Dingbat Diploma in Abstract Art

Abstract Art Degree: Custom Gag Diploma Doctorate Certificate (Funny Customized Joke Gift - Novelty Item)
Abstract Art Degree: Custom Gag Diploma Doctorate Certificate (Funny Customized Joke Gift - Novelty Item)

Frankly, anyone who can keep a straight face while reading our crazy crayon college curriculum deserves the Dingbat Diploma in Abstract Art!

 

Crazy Crayon College Bookstore

Trolls, Elves and Fairies (Dover Coloring Books)
Trolls, Elves and Fairies (Dover Coloring Books)

Way better than painting by numbers!

 
Dragons Coloring Book (Dover Coloring Books)
Dragons Coloring Book (Dover Coloring Books)

These dragons need daubes of color everywhere!

 
Wondrous Wizards (Dover Coloring Books)
Wondrous Wizards (Dover Coloring Books)

You'll go wild with these wonderful wizards!

 
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Coloring And Sticker Book
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Coloring And Sticker Book

For fans of Harry Potter, this is a great little coloring book.

 
Do You Doodle?
Do You Doodle?

For fidgety fingers who can't color inside the lines but want to doodle until the cows come home!

 

CRAZY CRAYON COMMENTS WELCOME!

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    • CrystalDBooth profile image

      Crystal Booth 9 years ago from Stroud, OK

      Wonderful lens. Welcome to the Humor and Hilarity Group. ~ Crystal

    • profile image

      bdkz 9 years ago

      This is so cute!

    • littleliz lm profile image

      littleliz lm 9 years ago

      Wow so many different things to do! Fantastic lens. 5 stars from me. I love it... mind you it brings back memories of my kids drawing on the radiator! Oh what a suprise when I peeled the white towls off the hot wax!!

    • CrypticFragment1 profile image

      Tammy Winand 9 years ago from McleodGanj HP India

      oh this is fun! great stuff! 4 stars and a lensroll.

      I recently completed a Crayola lens

      Come lookie. https://hubpages.com/entertainment/crayolacreativi

    • Stazjia profile image

      Carol Fisher 8 years ago from Warminster, Wiltshire, UK

      Great quirky lens. Welcome to the Art & Design Group.

    • Steve Dizmon profile image

      Steve Dizmon 8 years ago from Nashville, TN

      Although my school career began by flunking cut and paste, I did OK in crayon. I also have a memory of melting crayons. In first grade I decorated on of the radiators in the class room with beautiful flowing colors. It seems however that the teacher did not recognize my creativity and punished me. Artist are frequently misunderstood. 5 Stars for the lens.

    • religions7 profile image

      religions7 8 years ago

      welcome to the Humor and Hilarity group. Great lens :)

    • Kit-Kitty profile image

      Kit-Kitty 8 years ago

      This was a fun lens! 5*'s

      Thanks for joining theExpressive Art Group

    • profile image

      grannysage 8 years ago

      Oh I love crayons! And markers, and colored pencils. I once worked with an art therapist who brought these tools to every meeting we had. It was great for moral. Feeling depressed? Get a new box of crayons. 5 stars!

    • Lee Hansen profile image

      Lee Hansen 8 years ago from Vermont

      Featuring this lens on Coloring Book Collections - what great fun! 5*, too.

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Thank you for sharing my favorite of all time Peanuts strip. I often think of brown crayons while I drink my Hot chocolate.

    • profile image

      Joan4 8 years ago

      I love Bartholemew and Tootsie! this is a fun lens. Thank you!

    • jimmielanley profile image

      Jimmie Lanley 8 years ago from Memphis, TN, USA

      You're officially blessed!

    • paperfacets profile image

      Sherry Venegas 7 years ago from La Verne, CA

      This is wacky and not at all tacky.

      A little waxy but color classy.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Great funny lens :)

    • profile image

      ShamanicShift 6 years ago

      Wonderful creative (and re-creative) fun -- blessed by a SquidAngel!

    • newbizmau profile image

      Guided Abundance 6 years ago from Mobile, AL

      You had me going! love this lens.

    • AceofHearts profile image

      AceofHearts 5 years ago

      adorable and very humorous.

    • Mishael A Witty profile image

      Mishael A Witty 5 years ago

      Love this. Sharing it on Facebook. So much fun! I never really cared much about crayons when I was young, but now that I have a two-year-old, I have a whole new appreciation. I can't get enough!

    • kimbesa2 profile image

      kimbesa 5 years ago from USA

      LOL...seriously twisted...in a good way! Thanks!

    • Mickie Gee profile image

      Mickie Goad 5 years ago

      So do I get a color-in diploma, now that I am at the end of this college?

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