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Updated on August 23, 2017

Freelance Illustrators (& other arty types) ... Follow my Easy 7 Step Guide to fame and fortune.

Presented by Dr. Arty Artman - People Helper

Hey you.. yes YOU!! Are you are repressed, worried about your future or simply lacking social skills? Did your last pencil break and you can't glue it back together? I know - I've been there! But do not despair fellow artists. Dr. Arty is here to provide the very best illustration advice you can possibly get without having to paying for it. Just follow my EASY 7 STEP GUIDE towards self-confidence, success and unimaginable wealth and become self-confident, successful and unimaginably wealthy!

illustrator is a snappy dresser
illustrator is a snappy dresser

Step 1. - 'Become a SNAPPY DRESSER!'

from 'How to become a Famous, Highly Paid Illustrator'

It's simply not cool to go around calling yourself a "freelance illustrator" or "freelance artist" without dressing the part! To be taken seriously you need to dress as sharp as Don and Betty Draper. It's just too easy to slip into the 'Pyjama Never-land' when you're working freelance from your bedroom. I know - I've been there!

I found that buying some sharp, fashionable suits from St.Vinnies and wearing them every day created a special 'vibe' around the studio. Sure, it might be 'just you', but don't you want to FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME? Just slip a seersucker blazer or sports coat straight over your PJs and let your clothes do the talking! Dressing like there's no tomorrow attracts the 'right' type of client - the type that appreciates fine red wine, Rachmaninoff and your small but enviable collection of space toys. (Especially robots)

See the whole picture here.

Got any exciting fashion tips of your own to share my good artists? Please comment below. I really enjoy an intellectual discussion!

illustrator on the roof with dog
illustrator on the roof with dog

Step 2. - 'Learn to LOVE MONEY'

from 'How to become a Famous, Highly Paid Illustrator'

Dear artists, it's time to EMBRACE YOUR INNER CAPITALIST!

If you have any doubts (like I once did) that you can succumb to unabashed greed because you're a soft-touch, tree-hugging creative type, then try this. Every morning when you hit the studio say out loud to yourself: "I LOVE money! It is ok to be WEALTHY! I WILL become FILTHY RICH and I would like a car please!" But don't stop there. Go outside and yell it to your neighbours and if they're not home scream it to their dog!

Yes, it is very important to let total strangers understand, in no uncertain terms, that you intend to be rich. So, when you do soon become unimaginably wealthy they will instantly become your best friends. This may seem shallow and insincere now, but having dozens of new friends will boost your confidence and they may even commission you to draw their pets! This step has certainly made me the talk of the neighbourhood and it's also helped me relate to dogs in a very, very special way.

See the whole picture here.

Got any great, inspiring money stories? Share them with everyone by commenting below.

Step 3. - 'Copy other ARTIST'S WORK'

from 'How to become a Famous, Highly Paid Illustrator'

Ok it's obvious and you're probably doing this already. But if not, get started NOW because you are definitely missing out on a golden opportunity. There is no better way to get recognition as a professional illustrator than to sponge off other artist's styles and techniques! Is it ethical? Of course it is and I'll explain why. Any illustrator or artist will be absolutely over the moon that you admire their work so much that you want to copy them - it's a compliment! In fact, they should be paying YOU because it gives them free advertising.

Call it 'cheating', call it 'plundering', call it the 'blatant and callous exploitation of the struggling artist' or just call it... 'I N S P I R A T I O N'.

Of course, DO NOT use their actual pictures in your artworks. That would be way too obvious and if you get caught imagine how embarrassed and stupid you'll look being blogged and tweeted about by outraged artists everywhere! But there is nothing morally wrong with copying is there? Plus it's a fast way to fatten up that pancake portfolio. So no more excuses - get out the tracing paper right now!


Dr Arty's 'ARTHUMB 2000'
Dr Arty's 'ARTHUMB 2000'

Dr Arty's 'ARTHUMB 2000'


Always wanted to be a world famous Illustrator?

Sick of getting your illustrations rejected by street-wise art directors?

You need the ARTHUMB 2000!

You cannot ignore these outstanding benefits...

- Make instant art with hardly any talent

- Build a world-class portfolio in a few hours

- Impress clients, dazzle art directors and pull chicks

- Get the upper hand on other illustrators and designers who are wasting their time being original

Click on this link and CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER!


wimpy illustrator gets buff
wimpy illustrator gets buff

Step 4. - 'Take up BODY BUILDING'

from 'How to become a Famous, Highly Paid Illustrator'

Forget the image of the 98 pound weakling illustrator getting sand kicked in his face at the beach by the handsome, well-built Photographer. Today all the best, most famous and wealthiest illustrators have one thing in common - huge rippling muscles!

Yes, illustrators have been getting pushed around for years and are now fighting back with the 'Seated Dumbbell Incline', 'Hammer Strength Shoulder Presses', and the awesome 'Standing One Leg Calf Raise'. Add truck loads of ergogenic aids and your well on your way to becoming the buff, energetic, overly sensitive artist you've always dreamed about.

Hey, don't be concerned that your over-developed 'latissimus dorsi' will restrict your sketching ability. Think about those high flying clients that will be awestruck by your imposing stature and therefore your incredible artistic skill. And girls, don't think this is just for the guys. You too can look amazing, feel great and draw better just by following this priceless advice.

My friend, this is the NEW YOU!

See the whole picture here.

Been working out lately or tracing from your favourite Graphis? Let me know and comment below.


Comments - Comments on: Step 2. 'Learn to LOVE MONEY!'

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    • profile image

      Sophie Oudman 

      2 years ago

      Thank you so much for the useful information!

    • TimArends profile image

      Timothy Arends 

      3 years ago from Chicago Region

      This sounds a lot like the advice from some of the "self-help" books, such as "the Secret,"… Except, for artists! LOL

    • DrArtman profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      @anonymous: More coming as soon as possible. Thanks for reading and stay tuned. Dr Artman

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Where are the rest 5 steps? I can only see the 1st two :/

    • DrArtman profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      @PWeiner1: Yes, an excellent way to make loads of money Mr PWeiner1 ! But it's the 'or else' that does worry me a little. Did you have a happy childhood? - Dr. Arty

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Work when you want to but make sure when your clients job is due that you complete it

      on time or else...


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