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Why You SHOULD Take Back a Liar, Cheater, or Jerk

Updated on November 11, 2011

Saying Goodbye to Liars, Cheaters, and Jerks

Almost every girl has dated one: a liar, a cheater, or a jerk. And what's worse, many women make excuse after excuse for taking their scoundrels back again and again. In fact, many people can come up with hundreds of reasons to take back a-no-good-man.

And Kim Wiederholt has a hundred reasons packed right into her book Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk: 100 Reasons Why You Should Take Him Back. In her book you'll find 100 blissfully blank sheets of paper providing 100 reasons. Because there's no good reason to put up with someone who doesn't treat you well.

No more excuses!

So stop making excuses for the man who has lied to you over and over again.

He's not going to change and you can't take him back and expect him to be truthful. That guy who's cheated on you with one or even several other women is also someone that doesn't deserve your affection.

And finally, there's the jerk that doesn't care about your feelings, doesn't make you feel good about yourself, and doesn't even want to try. That guy doesn't deserve you either.

It's time to stop taking them back and start looking for the right man.

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Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk: 100 Reasons Why You Should Take Him Back
Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk: 100 Reasons Why You Should Take Him Back

"As women, we deserve respect and adoration-especially in our romantic lives. Unfortunately, what we deserve is not always what we get. When cupid's arrow feels more like a thorn in our side, one girlfriend's handbook reminds us to never compromise our standards and settle for less. "Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk: 100 Reasons Why You SHOULD Take Him Back" poignantly clarifies all the reasons to offer a second chance to the highly undeserving. Why take him back when he is dishonest, unfaithful, and thoughtless? The reasons: 100 BLANK pages. In essence, "Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk" delivers uncomplicated and sensible advice that epitomizes an unyielding statement for women. The bottom-line: There are no reasons; we deserve better-GET RID OF HIM!"

 

Give Your Friend 100 Reasons

Do you have a girlfriend who must keeps making the same mistake over and over?

There's either one guy that seems to have some sort of magnetic hold over her. He's lied, he's cheated, and he's just no good but she can't seem to say goodbye. Perhaps you even have a girlfriend who has a pattern of entering relationships with this kind of guy.

If you've tried talking to your friend about leaving that jerk behind and getting on with her life, you probably know how frustrating it can be. She can give you reason after reason for why she should take him back and stay together.

When you get tired of talking about it and you want to get the point across, you need to reach no further than Wiederholt's book. Hand your friend a copy of Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk: 100 Reasons Why You Should Take Him Back wrapped up in a pretty bow and let the book do the talking for you.

After she opens the book looking for reasons, she'll find that there really aren't any. This is a great object lesson for someone who needs to see something in black and white (well, white blank pages anyway).

Chances are you know at least one woman who needs a copy of this book - and there are probably several women in your life who are settling for someone who doesn't deserve their forgiveness. Help your friends to dump those liars, cheaters, and jerks by giving them a gift that will improve their lives in an instant.

Why Settle For Less?

It's so sad to see women settling for less over and over again. The truth is that there are really good men out there. But sometimes they're harder to find because you're just not looking in the right places.

If you find yourself in relationships with the wrong guy over and over again, maybe you need to take a look at your requirements. Many women are attracted to the liars, cheaters, and jerks because they don't feel good about themselves. This type of man is a master manipulator and can make you feel really low about yourself without having to try very hard.

Before you know it, you feel like you can't find someone who's any better, so you settle for less. But Kim Wiederholt wants you to stop making excuses and start living a life that's free from liars, cheaters, and jerks. Put a copy of her book on your coffee table, nightstand, or wherever you'll see it often to remind yourself that there's no good reason to settle for less.

Try looking for a guy who treats you with kindness and respect. Believe it or not they exist. But often they're pretty lonely because "nice guys finish last." Give that nice guy a chance and say goodbye to the liars, cheaters, and jerks!

About the Author

Kim Wiederholt wants you to know that there is absolutely no reason to take back a liar, cheater, or jerk. She is known as an "expert girlfriend" to her pals. She's spent a lot of time listening to women complain about men who lie, cheat, or are just generally jerks only to take them back.

Wiederholt wants women to be empowered to take control of their lives and stop settling for less than they deserve. There is no good reason to stay in a relationship that isn't healthy and her book is a concrete reminder of that fact. Her goal is to help women realize their potential and lead happy and healthy lives with her book Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk: 100 Reasons Why You Should Take Him Back

She wants you to know that by making sure you take care of your spirit and soul, you can have a healthy, meaningful life. Becoming a strong person who is whole on her own can lead you down the path to finding a man who is right for you - and treats you as you ought to be treated. Don't get her wrong - Kim believes that there are great men out there. Not all men are liars, cheaters, or jerks.

Kim Wiederholt lives in Indiana and has been married to her husband for 11 years. He is not a liar, cheater, or jerk.

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Feature Article- Is His Past Really Behind Him?

by Kim Wiederholt

One of the challenges that can come during the dating process is concern about a man's questionable past. No matter how wonderful he may be and insistent that his past actions are behind him, it can still be difficult to let go of any lingering feelings of doubt you may have. Through such uncertainty it is important to remember that someone's past is more than just a reference in time, it is also about learning from past choices.

Although using "the past" as a reference in time can ease some uncertainty, it is important not to be completely wrapped around the notion. Something that took place a few weeks, months, and even years ago, may not be enough to establish that the habit or temptation is definitely in the past.

Recently I came across a question a woman posed to others about her current boyfriend who had just left an "open marriage." Although he did not particularly agree with his "wife's idea" of an open marriage, he did not leave the marriage until after he had met this new girlfriend. Though the boyfriend had not given her any indication that she could not trust him, her question to readers was "how could she know for sure?"

To my surprise, the overwhelming response from readers was that she should not be concerned about his past since her description of him otherwise made him sound like a great guy and he did indeed finally leave the marriage to be with her.

Were the readers missing a critical point?

Though I do believe "the past is the past", as one responder rationalized in support of the boyfriend's favor, there did not seem to be much of one here. The only thing that is now in his past is his ex-wife and marriage- there is more to the story.

The mere fact that this new girlfriend had a relationship with this man during his open marriage indicates that she accepted the arrangement and in so doing, she too became a part of the open arrangement.

Even if the boyfriend has no interest in an open relationship with this woman, she will always struggle with having complete trust in him because the bottom-line is he was with another woman when they began their relationship. When it comes to faithfulness he has proven nothing.

Women want more than just words to establish that something is in the past...we want proof. And if we accept anything less than that, not only will we struggle with feelings of uncertainty but we also become the testing ground for proving the truth. Both are uncomfortable so we can either accept the risk and uneasiness or conclude that he is not worth it.

While people do change and learn from their mistakes, if we choose to give someone the benefit of the doubt and let the past be the past then we should be wise in our conclusion. Let's not just take his word for it but rather discuss what he learned from the past and make sure there are no signs that he is interested in anything that resembles the habit or behavior in question.

There are many people that know that a particular choice is wrong but some do not have the will power to control their actions. An adulterer knows his actions are immoral but still continues the affair.

Unfortunately, just because someone does not agree with a certain lifestyle does not always mean they are not guilty of it. Their belief is only in word, not action. The boyfriend in the open marriage scenario did not agree with his wife's idea but he still went along with it.

If you know a boyfriend has a questionable past do not be afraid to ask questions! Especially about why he wanted to change and would never make that choice again.

How many times have we heard a woman say "I should have asked more questions" only after she has felt betrayed and the relationship is on the brink of disaster? If he doesn't give an answer that suffices then don't be afraid to ask more questions.

If he no longer wants anything to do with his past he should also make choices that keep him distant from those things that resemble it. Whether that includes friends and/or activities, he should steer clear of anything that might draw him back into a wrong choice.

If a man's past includes cheating, it would make little sense to trust that person if they view pornography or attend adult clubs. If he considers infidelity a mistake, then it would be wise for him not to feed the sexual appetite. Otherwise, he could be a ticking time bomb displaying little ability to completely control his sexual desires.

A great example of someone taking the right steps to overcome the past is a recovering alcoholic. Not only does a recovering alcoholic stop buying alcohol but they also stay away from those places that could lead to temptation. Likewise, the same efforts apply to anyone trying to overcome a bad habit or choice.

The critical point about evaluating a man's past is that he needs to have resolved it and stay firm in his resolution. If he can sincerely explain why he believes his choice was wrong and why he will not do it again, that is a good indication that he understands the consequences of his choice. When someone fully understands the repercussions they would be more likely to remain resolute in their conviction to avoid the same mistake.

In addition, when a man surrounds himself in a better environment and avoids the temptation all together he is showing great determination, discipline, and most importantly, a lack of interest in the wrong choice.

Read a man's actions and activities and discuss why he has changed. Referring to one's "past" is more than a place in time; it is also a matter of learning from it. The revealing answer to his past is demonstrated through his current perspective and behavior.

Feature Article- 7 Relationships Red Flags You Should Not Ignore In a Relationship

by Kim Wiederholt

Relationship red flags come in different forms. These warning signs can be revealed through intuitive feelings and by revealing attributes of a boyfriend's character. If red flags are overlooked the one person we hurt most is ourselves.

The following is a list of seven red flags you should not ignore in a relationship. Recognizing relationship red flags can prevent disappointment and heartache.

1. Dishonesty- There can be a fine line between being blatantly dishonest and trying not to hurt your feelings. The dating process is the critical time for boyfriend and girlfriend to get to know one another and honesty is essential.

It is important for him to be completely honest about his feelings and views if you are truly going to get to know him.

If all-too-often his excuse for not being straight with you is he "did not want to hurt your feelings" then:

a. There may be a communication barrier in the relationship.

b. There may be too many differences between the two of you.

Communication and unity are not only important in the dating process but critical in a long-term, successful relationship. The two of you need to be comfortable with expressing yourselves.

If he is blatantly dishonest then there really is no justification. Lying during courtship is a sign of disrespect toward you and can be an indication of his true character. Dishonesty is a quality of someone who has something to hide and lacks integrity.

2. Other People Know Your Business- Whether it is personal information about you or information personal to the relationship, under most circumstances it is inappropriate for others outside the relationship to be made aware of anything that is or should be kept private. If private matters of your relationship are made known to or discussed with others this is a sign that there is a communication problem in the relationship. Also, it can be an indication of one's level of maturity in dealing and coping with problems.

Problems within the relationship need to be resolved within it. If there is a need to discuss a problem with others, that displays a lack of ability to resolve concerns between the two of you. This is not a good characteristic of a healthy relationship.

Any rationalization to justify seeking third party advice- from family, friends, and perhaps, even professional help- all come down to one bottom-line: weak communication exists in connection with a lack of ability to resolve differences in the relationship. Rationalizations like "he doesn't listen to my side of the story", "he is hard to talk to", and "he gets defensive", etc. all come back to that bottom-line.

If it is your personal business that is being shared with others, that is sign of disrespect toward you. A good man knows he should be respectful of your private matters which includes keeping private conversations confidential and being sensitive to your needs and feelings.

3. Something About Him Bothers You- "Bothersome" can come in two forms: He leaves you with a sense of distrust or uneasiness, or something about him is a nuisance.

Whether it is a single characteristic or multiple qualities about a boyfriend that bug you, you should not ignore those feelings. Why? Because if it bothers you enough to notice it and you have to consciously decide not to let it bother you, you are compromising yourself. Do not force yourself to accept something you do not like and are not comfortable with.

Do not succumb to making a "pro's and con's list" to decide that maybe there are other good qualities about him that make him tolerable. Again, if you have to consciously decide not to let it- or him- bother you then ultimately you are sacrificing your own standards and contentment.

4. You Feel Unappreciated - In a romantic relationship a key part to your happiness is feeling appreciated and cherished. You would not expect anything less and you shouldn't. If he blows you off, is insulting or rude, and you are not a major priority in his life, do not accept what little he has to offer. No one like's feeling unappreciated and he should be the first person to make sure you do not feel that way.

5. Mistrust or Doubt On Your Part- Instincts are a girl's best friend. Sometimes all we have to let us know that a relationship is not right is our instinct. If you have feelings of mistrust or doubt toward him or the relationship, it is important to follow your intuition. The reason why we have this sixth sense is to make us aware of what we could not otherwise see or understand. Trust your gut!

6. He Rubs Your Family or Friends the Wrong Way- Our family's and friend's instincts can also signal a red flag in a relationship. We all have heard the cliché "love is blind". And if you have become blinded by love, family and friends can help to see the truth. It can be easy to become caught up in a whirlwind romance and they have the ability to see more objectively.

If it is uncharacteristic for family or friends to be vocal about their dislike or questioning of a boyfriend's character, then there is probably reason for you too to be concerned. They may be catching on to something that you are not.

There is a difference between family and friends being overly-protective and that of being reasonably concerned. Do not automatically dismiss one's apprehension for the first; especially if it is possible there is some truth and reason to their uneasiness.

7. What Matters To You Doesn't Matter To Him- Just as important as how he treats you is sharing common beliefs and goals.

You are only going to be happy living by those principles and following aspirations that bring you joy. He needs to help you live by those principles and support you in your dreams. A relationship will only be a happy, healthy one if you too feel happy, spiritually healthy and enriched by it. Never change who you are to make a relationship work. Rather, be a part of a relationship that is in harmony with you.

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Do You or Someone You Know Date Liars, Cheaters, or Jerks?

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    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 3 years ago

      @Singerxo: Thank you for your question Singerxo. My impression is that you already know what the right thing to do is and you need some reassurance. Yes, it is absolutely okay to "fall out love" with someone with whom you can't trust- especially given the circumstances. In fact, it's only logical and normal to do so. Love develops naturally when a relationship is right and good and should not require a conscience effort of weighing pros vs cons. Trust yourself and find joy in your intuition instead of forcing yourself to accept unacceptable behavior. Be happy and look to the future with hope instead of fear.

      Very best,

      Kim

    • profile image

      Singerxo 3 years ago

      My boyfriend is a pathological liar, im 19 and hes 21. He lied about all his sexual history, made up stories of things hes done, places he's been. He used others stories as his own to try to sound i guess, more interesting. He lied about doing dangerous things and scary things for a year, and admitted to me after one year of dating that he has lied. The list is too long to type! But he is seeking counceling, and now lies about small things. He also almost cheated on me, he asked a girl through text to get together for that reason. Its been 2 months, since. I just don't know what to do. He is probably the most kind person, always looking to help, good grades etc. Takes me to dinner very often, but I almost feel he is trying to buy my love! I would just love some advice.. I'm scared im falling out of love because of how hurt I am.

      Thankyou :)

    • profile image

      stella_mcartney 4 years ago

      No one can deny it while dating online we some how come into contact with a fake ids...thanks for sharing

    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Bev- Do not second guess yourself, you have absolutely done the right thing. Open, honest communication is crucial in a healthy relationship. On top of that, he was insensitive and lacked humility. He was not a keeper. Trust in yourself and keep looking forward.

      Very best,

      Kim

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Mine lied about a girl that was coming to see him with an excuse to see his puppy. Even though he really wasn't cheating because she was pursuing him, it upset me that he lied about it and acted like a jerk when I told him it would be hard for me to trust him again. It was like he was blaming me for what he did b/c I almost broke up over it (not the girl, but the lying). He acted like a jerk too b/c he would ignore me, cut me off when I ever needed to discuss anything he did that hurt me as a way to communicate my concerns. He would not communicate with me whatsoever and he is NEVER wrong. I just had to let him go. Should I have tried to keep him knowing I couldn't communicate with him? He just didn't seem to care about hurting my feelings. It was always about him.

    • Aja103654 profile image

      Aja103654 4 years ago

      I got rid of an unsuitable partner when I needed to.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I was with a Liar; cheater and a manipulator for almost 2 yrs. It is very unhealthy and I would recommend anyone to not get involved in this situation. It's hard to let go because of the lying charming ways. He had nothing to offer me. There was also an age difference he was younger. I was I admit in denial thought that the good times could out way the bad. Well NOT true! I finally had enough; with the lies, never had a real job and like I said had nothing. Lived with Mommy and Daddy. Here I have my shit together own my home, car and have a great job.

      It took awhile to realize this is not what I need or wanted. Yes he was very charming and very manipulative, he discovered I was an easy target from the get go. I've tried letting go for at least 3 times. Those lying charming was always got me. News yrs day of course he lies again and says he's out of town which I didn't believe. didn't here from him until Jan 2, he TEXT me and just put Hi. and am I at work. I responded... I will no longer play your game, LOOSE my number. He text back and put O.K. few minutes later called twice I didn't answer and he has not tried to contact me anymore. But it is the weekend.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Me

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Thank you for our words of encouragements..This has been a nightmare...day by day I am trying to forget....Through daily prayer and a higher power I have hope....

    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Dear Price.

      Your life is moving in the right direction. Although you may still feel the hurt, you are no doubt in a much a better place and getting to this place is evidence of the real strength you have. Do not be ashamed. When someone is as pervasive and persistent as he, it makes it difficult to severe ties with that person and it turns into a battle. Many times this battle lasts much longer than one would ever expect or want (yes, sometimes even years go by). But, you cannot dwell on the past. Focus on the strength that got you where you are today. 

      It is hard to comprehend why there are people like him out there. Often times, they have a disturbing past and they manifest their frustrations-without ever properly addressing their problems- in the way they treat others by bringing them down and displaying destructive behavior. Take solace in the fact that your struggle is not uncharacteristic of the same struggle many women face when dealing with someone who is manipulative. It is the nature of dealing with this type of person and not of your doing. The most any of us can do with a past challenge or disappointment  is grow, learn from it, and help others.  Continue to focus on what you can do to remove yourself from anything having to do with him. It will also be easier to move on as you focus your time and energy on you and actively doing the things you enjoy.

      Price, YOU have made the decision to finalize this relationship.  Give yourself more credit than you currently are.

      All the best moving forward,

      Kim

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Being with someone who lies, cheats, abuse manipulates and steals is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I was this jerk ove a decade...I blsme myself for letting him come back over and over again. I was never happy with him never. The trust had been gone for a long time. But I let him come back overand over. I now think it was somethink wrong with me.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Yes my ex cheated, lied, abused, used and stole money from me. He got an apartment behind my back. after I let him stay with me after rehab from alcohol abuse. While he stayed with me he was on dating sites and call and texting other women. This has went on for a decade or more. I recently cut off contact with him from my cell phone. For several years I stop calling him because I knew he was talking to other women. All along he said he loved me and wanted to be with me. But his action showed me something different. Because it has been along time of abuse. It has bee very difficult for me. He lied and told one of his exes I had cancer just recenlty. He also told her beat my brother with a bat. But this did not happpened. He also said I was stalking him. This never happened. It seems like character assassination. What do you think? Tell what kind of man does this? I am praying everyday just to stop thnking about him and all the bad things he has said.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      i am always being trapped with this kinda atmosphere with my boyfriend...he being an alcoholic..and almost all the times he lied to me on what he done actually on past night...i just don't know what's wrong with him...i even try to get out from this relationship..but..things dont work..he dont give me a chance to move from this relationship and he holds me...sometimes he talks nicely to me..and at times he threatens me if i talk on breaking off with him..almost all the time he would scolds me with bad words...i realized as this is a long distance relationship i can't work out things much to be with him and solve things out..but he dont even want to spend time to talk and solve out things in a nice way..he always give me lots of excuses..which really hurts me so much...

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I have been with my guy since beg. of hs and have been on and off for a total of 8 yrs and dating for 5 yrs. I moved in with him and left everything behind and felt he was all I needed until the moved. As him being a jerk he always makes me feel not attractive enough (but I am pretty!). As a cheater even during our recent breakup he said he never cheated. I told him i kissed a guy but he still sticks to his faithful story. But would always lead me to think he was cheatinv during our relationship as "jokes" and i always thought I was too sensitive being I'm a cancer and he's a Leo. And though I never caught him in a lie, I always have never trusted him. We have gone through a lot that most relationships could never endure. And when were good were great when were bad were awful. I ran out on him due to a fight and now he's in a state by himself in a house we already made memories in. I tried to move on but can't. I'm in a bad cycle, but i don't want to say he was The One that got away.)

    • Keeah profile image

      Keeah 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Heal first THEN move on, you need time to grieve. He's NOT the one that got away. YOU got away before you did further damage to your mental health.

    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Dear depressedgirl,

      Because of the severity of your circumstance I feel the appropriate recommendation to give is to have you please contact a help center in your area.

      I wish you the very best and please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

      Thank you,

      Kim

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Im cureently living with a liar:he lies about his age,how many children he has,the amount of times he cheated on me,how long he has his apartment,his whereabouts,he religious committent,about wanting to marry me amd the list goes on.

      a cheater:he cheated on me countless times,he is a like a whore,he slept with several girls in our bed,he uses online to flirt with girls to the extend where he gets their phone numbers,email accounts,address,blackberry pins,

      A jerk:he tries to control me,treats me badly,shouts at me,runs out when there is a problem,put everyone above me.

      I can't get myself to leave him though i feel so trapped and blinded.i don't know what to do.im trying to cope it gets me depressed and suicidal.help me.

    • Keeah profile image

      Keeah 5 years ago

      Yes cheaters can and do reform (depending on personality type) but often with a completely different person in an entirely new relationship. Because the one they cheated in has been established as disposable. But if you insist on trying to win her back, then this should not be attempted without a GOOD therapist for the two of you. A therapist will tell you if your motives are legit or if you are just one of those guys who is afraid to be alone. They will also establish ground rules. For example that you have no right to get mad if she asks for further clarification of a past event or even a questionable present one. Or if she asks to do spot checks on your cell phone for the next 2 years. A therapist will tell each of you what is realistic and what is reasonable in whatever amount of time. Your ex will decide from there if it is even worth her time and energy. After that it is out of your hands.

    • joycecity lm profile image

      joycecity lm 5 years ago

      @anonymous: The only way to get her back is through talking to your girl, explaining her the causes and the consequences of your past behaviour. Unless you perusade her that you've changed, there is no other way to get her back. oh, actually there is: buy her mSpy to spy on you=)) lol

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I am that guy. I cheated on my ex by going to a massage parlor, and had inappropriate conversations with a girl I used to work with. There it is. The ugly truth. It's horrible. I used sex as a weapon as her own past took center stage- having been molested by her older brother as a teen, and also cheating on me. I became selfish and as result the cheating came. No, it wasn't the first. It was the last. That was 1.5 years and a lot of therapy ago. I've realized that I'm still in love with this girl (we're both in our 30's) and am in the process of *attempting* to get her back. This, is and will be- no easy feat, and I'm actively seeking advice as to WHAT I can do, to work on earning her trust back. She already met me for dinner 5 weeks ago, and I've been working on getting date No 2. Clearly she still has (rightly so) huge amounts of doubt and fear. How does she face her family? Her friends? Her DAUGHTER? Could she even do this??? SHOULD she even do this? I've read all the comments about 'once a cheater ...' and I'd say then why even bother with relationships? Why bother with people like us? Should we just rid ourselves from society? I say NO. People can change. They absolutely can. The question is DO THEY WANT TO? I wanted to. I want to. I work everyday to be a better human being. And when people make mistakes, even huge ones to have COMPASSION for them. So I'm here. There. Everywhere trying to gain insight and work at earning her trust. I'm not going away, and will not live life in fear of losing some pride to get the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life. I've never been one to listen to the masses when people say "can't" or "shouldn't". The risk is huge, the payoff; true love, happiness- is worth it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. -C

    • Keeah profile image

      Keeah 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Macy, I had to get rid of a two-timer a number of years ago and my only regret was that I did not do it sooner. Keep in mind there is one other emotion you experience in a break-up along with grief, it's RELIEF. Relief that where he is and what he is doing is no longer your problem.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @Stephaniew: Stephanie,

      You'll eventually give up on him. I'm going through a break up with one right now. I always took him back after his lies. This last time I found out he had an online dating profile up and was texting a girl from there, even asked if he could go over to her house, to play scrabble I'm sure. I told him that the only way I would stay is if he let me see his phone anytime I want until I can trust him again. He said no, so I moved out. You will one day realize that you're the only one fighting for the relationship, and if that's so, then what are you fighting for? I know you're still in love with him but do you want to live like that for the rest of your life? You are of value and you should know that.

    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 6 years ago

      @anonymous: Dear Macy,

      How a man treats you is just one of the components of a truly loving and healthy relationship. It sounds like his true character is really revealed through his dishonesty and infidelity. Please do not let however kind and "loving" he may act rationalize and overshadow his lack of integrity. He has a lot of growing up to do and you do not have to be by his side as he learns the definitions of selflessness and self- discipline.

      You have been given multiple warning signs about him and continuing a relationship with him could culminate to a point where the deception is too great or too painful.

      I hope this helps, Macy.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Im soo lost my boyfriend is a BIG liar about everything and a cheater, but he treats me like an angel really apart from the BIG lies and the few cheats that keep happening, our life is almost perfect, now can i give that up?

    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 6 years ago

      @Stephaniew: Hello Stephanie,

      You will find the strength you are looking for through confidence and faith. Feel confident that your instincts are right about everything you feel is wrong in the relationship. Have faith that once you have moved on you most certainly will be well and you will be opening the doors to finding someone who will have the qualities you are looking for and provide a much more gratifying relationship.

      You have much to look forward to.

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      Stephaniew 6 years ago

      Yes, I date a liar, cheater and jerk. I think I need to order the book! I really need to wake up and smell the coffee, right? He says he's not a cheater because he only got caught once and that it was all my fault. That's what he told me..... I love him at times and I hate him at times. I guess that's why I'm still with him. I need to find the strength to move on but, I can't seem to find it....

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      JewelRiver 7 years ago

      Great article! Loved it!!!!

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      HelenInburgh 7 years ago

      This is a great lens, I am sure I know a few women that could benefit from the book. There is no reason to stay with someone who disrespects you.

      Great lens, I gave it five stars!

      Best wishes,

      Helen

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Nice work.

      You're squid is full of good information and can see you've put a lot of work and thought into producing a great lens.

      Love the book, I agree with all 100 reasons, very clever.

      Regards Stacey :0)

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      AndyTanner 7 years ago

      Hey Kim, That's a pretty cool lens. Lots of helpful stuff in there.

      Sounds like you and I have a few things in common!

      Drop by my lens some time

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      KityTatu 8 years ago

      I found your lens because I am a firm believer in 'once a cheater, always a cheater'. I would like to think that people can change, or there is something about a person that would make a cheater change and not do it to them, but I know that's just not the case. I am a bit torn over someone who I know has cheated in the past, but I would never think that I was so special that he wouldn't do it to me, so I know we can never be together. It hurts knowing that, but I would never put myself in a position where I know that I'm the next victim. I think your idea for your book is awesome!! There really is NO good reason to take back a cheater. I have in the past and I've learned my lesson. Great lens!!

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      anonymous 8 years ago

      It has been 5 years and 7 months since my wife was caught with another. I thought I was a fool, but realize I still am. I am with her only because of the kids.

      When I caught her in the back room of her work in the arms of her lover it was all denial. "I was just congratulating him for his singing keroke". Half truths continued to come out during the next 36 hours along with some of the worsst things that I could have ever heard, " I married you to get back at my parent's, and No matter what happens, he will always be a friend". I had to take my 2 daughters and leave her which was the best thing I could have done. The lies continued to follow not only to me but her family and a judge. Which resulted in them coming to take my children right out of my arms. That was the toughest day of my life. I can still recall carrying a nightshirt and fall jacket of their's where ever I went for the longest time after that.

      She had convinced me though that they had

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      anonymous 8 years ago

      [in reply to all upset angie]

      i think you need to have the strength to say i don't need him i went through the same thing my boyfriend cheated and got another girl pregnant and left me six months pregnant but o had to have the stegnth to say i am a woman and a damn good one and i have better things to do

    • dating a liar n profile image
      Author

      dating a liar n 8 years ago

      While keeping families together is extremely important, just as important, if not more so, is your well-being and the well-being of your children. Never feel that you are being selfish when you chose to do that which is spiritually and emotionally best for you and your children. You do not deserve, and your young family does not deserve the presence of someone who has proven to show no remorse for his actions and does not remain faithful to you.

      Your children do not need his example and influence in their lives. You do not deserve the constant pain and hurt that comes from his routine of betrayal and disloyalty.

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      anonymous 8 years ago

      yes for the past 4 years i've been put up with my boyfriend lying to me about in sex invol with other women's online now he is in jail.i also have a baby girl with him and a nither one on the way what should i do.

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      RickBasset 8 years ago

      Nicely Done! Welcome to the "Books On Squidoo!"group.

      Peace! :~)

    • profile image

      tdove 9 years ago

      Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory!

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      There are so many liars, cheaters, and jerks out there and too many women putting up with them! This book is a great wake up call and the most practical relationship book out there!

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Over the years I have met women who complain over and over again about bad relationships only to do nothing about it. This book offers the perfect advice. It is the perfect gift idea!"

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      anonymous 9 years ago

      Wow what a great lens, thanks for the invite.

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      anonymous 9 years ago

      What a great idea!

      My first reaction in seeing the blank pages was "How funny! What a great idea!"

      - then immediately, "Wow, --Not funny!

      Good Job!

      Your website is amazing!

      Will we be seeng more books by you?

      Thank you for addressing such a serious subject so simply.

      Bless you.