This Is Not Art - Modern Art, the Worst in History
Modern art. It just leaves a sour taste in my mouth, just like the milk I had 30 days after the expiration date (can milk turn into alcohol? of course it can). Modern art seems to evoke strong emotions from some people. Frankly, most of the time I don't get it, just like a neutered dog. I shrug my shoulders and move on, content that I am not the artsy-fartsy type. I just am not an art connoisseur. I wouldn't know an artist if one bit me in the rear.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I do feel strongly enough to voice an opinion. Sometimes what passes as "modern art" isn't art at all. Sometimes it's just crap that some rich person decided it "spoke to them" just like the cat after you've had one too many cocktails (is that just me?).
Photo: From Museum of Bad Art
The Pile of Bricks
"The Equivalent VIII"
The infamous pile of bricks was shown by the Tate gallery in the 1970s. Purchased for about 2,000 pounds originally, it created much controversy. I mean, it looks more like something you would find on a pallet at a home improvement store, not art.
Scratch that. No home improvement store would place 120 bricks in such perfect alignment.
I guess if you are trying to invoke emotion, you could do worse than 120 bricks. It sure makes me furious that someone spent about 5 grand on what amounts to stacked construction materials.
The Museum of Bad Art
Yes, the Museum of Bad Art is a place. It is located at 580 High Street, Dedham Square, Massachusetts.
They have put out two books so far.
Art Too Bad to Be Ignored was their first, and showcases 40 pieces. If you enjoy humor and art, it is a great buy.
Masterworks was released second and features 70 more pieces of MOBA's priceless, if misguided, collection.
Photo: Front cover of Masterworks
An Unmade Bed
No, that is not a picture of my bedroom. "My Bed" was an installation by Tracy Emin, and was displayed at, you guessed it, the Tate Gallery. This homage to "every teenager, like ever" nearly won the Turner Prize in 1999.
Sure, it speaks to you. Just like your mom did back in the fourth grade. "Make your bed, and while you are at it take out the garbage!"
Charles Saatchi bought this for 150,000 pounds.
I'm in the wrong field.
The Clock - by Christian Marclay
This amounts to different pictures of clocks for 24 hours straight. The "artist" spent countless hours splicing footage from different movies from over 100 years, so that a full 24 hours is represented.
So, rather than art, this piece is short clips of unrelated video spliced together. For 24 hours.
So, unless you are willing to sit through 24 hours, you can't see the whole thing. Furthermore, it's just video footage of clocks and short scenes.
Anything by Jackson Pollock
Ah, Jackson Pollock. This will probably irritate a lot of people.
Jackson Pollock was a paint spatterer. He spattered paint in ways that somehow got rich people to pay for it.
Anyone can spatter paint. Putting a price tag on it doesn't make it art.