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GM Will Rise From Bankruptcy As... Good Munchin'

Updated on April 7, 2009

 It seems inevitable that General Motors is going to enter bankruptcy or some other form of massive, government mandated restructuring and arise as an entire new company. However, is it in the company's and the country's best interests that GM continue as an automotive manufacturer? We should not just blindly assume that General Motors needs to continue business as a hobbled, wounded carmaker! Why not examine new and more profitable horizons? The corporation's nationwide dealer network could be easily converted to a new business that is guaranteed to make big profits: fast food restaurants!

GM is in a position to develop a unique and tasty blend of traditional American Diner fare derived from its long and distinguished heritage as the builders of the cars that made Drive-In Restaurants a Golden Age staple! Why waste all your resources paying assembly line bozos $75 an hour to build cars Americans don't want when you can pay minimum wage bozos $7.50 an hour to make food Americans do want?

Here is the proposed menu of the new Good Munchin' Restaurant chain:

Aveocado Burger

A 100% Prime Montana ground beef patty topped with Bacon The Books, adorned with fresh Red Ink Tomato, crisp Don't Lettuce Fail, dill garlic In A Real Pickle, and a thick, delicious slab of ripe Haas Aveocado. Offered with your choice of condiments including Playing Ketchup, Green Hybrid Relish and Chevpotle, on a fresh CarAway seed bun.

ChuckWagoner Stew

Chunks of seasoned hung CEO, grilled over the coals, quick fired, then well compensated, and simmered with Yukon potatoes, 24 Carrot Escalades, Hearty Bean Counter, and plenty of Political Spin-ach in a full-flavored, nose-challenging brown sauce.

We're In Denali Seafood Chowder

Big pieces of juicy Prawntiacs, Clamaros, Stingrays, Impalobsters, and Musselcars fresh from the Riviera, sauteed with We Artichoked, Sunchoke, and Choke Cherry, then stewed in a rich, creamy Regal broth seasoned with Give Us More Thyme, with a savory, buttery Saturnover for dipping.

Screaming Chicken Firebird

Juicy slices of chicken stuffed with BrougHam and Detroit Blues Cheese, Express fried in our extra hot Chapter 11 secret spices with an extra pinch of Porsche Cayenne Envy, and served on Sourgrapes bread slathered with light Malibuyonnaise and a fresh We're Sorrel salad on the side.

Steakholder Sandwich

A thick Junk Grade Limousin steak, zinged with Horsepowerradish, on a hearty LaCrossty bun with a Rocket 88 side salad topped with shredded We Leek Profits and Cashew Save.

Chevy Vegan Low Carb-urator Platter

A healthy garden salad platter of crisp Taxi Cabbage, Squash Prospects, Beet Us Up, We Can't Celery, topped with Sunfire Seeds and a DeVilled Egg, and drizzled with Catalina dressing. Served with refreshing V8 juice in a crystal Coupe.

Buicklava Dessert

A flaky phyllo pastry filled with dried Eldoberries, Raisin Funds, Sunfire Seeds, and Obamas Nuts, dusted with Cimarron, and topped with an Avalanche of frosty Plain Vanilla Sedan Ice Cream.

So, what about it, America? You certainly don't find General Motors' automotive lineup tasty, but Good Munchin's food menu certainly is! I know that although I wouldn't walk into a General Motors dealership on a bet, I'd certainly line up for some of this delicious fare! If I've got to pay a whole whack of taxes to bail out GM, at least this way I can get a full gut, instead of getting it in the butt!


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    • Hal Licino profile image

      Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto

      Yup, now all I need is for Good Munchin' to mix me up a shake! Strawberry with extra whipped cream and a cherry on top! Yum! Much better use of all those big buildings than filling them with cars that no one can afford to buy anyway! :)

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 8 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      What a great way to mix up your hub!

    • Hal Licino profile image

      Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto

      I'm trying to set up a meeting with President Obama. After all, I have some really nice Kenyan recipes he might enjoy putting on the Good Munchin' menu. :)

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Oh, this is too good, Hal. I'll support you on this one. Who do you request a meeting with?