Top 10 Ways to Tell If Someone is Drunk
In my opinion the only thing worse than a drunk is having to watch another re-run of Friends, so it's a handy thing to be able to spot a drunk from 100 paces and avoid them.
A drunk driver, or a drunk walker, or even a drunk sitter--they are all the same. Drunk.
Driving drunk is perhaps the worst, but they are all equally irritating.
Here are some of the signs to look for if you need to know how to tell if someone is drunk.
1. You ask them how much they have had to drink tonight and they answer: 'in litres or gallons?'
2. You look into their eyes and instead of being milky white, they are filled with more red veins than there are canals on Mars.
3. You ask them to 'please step out of the car' and they decide to exit through the sun-roof.
4. The only way they can come close to touching their index finger to the tip of their nose is by first putting on an oven mitt.
5.When you ask them to walk a 'straight line' the line they walk is better described as a multi-sided hexagonal in hyperspace.
6. The lids of their eyes blink a-syncronously.
7. You ask them 'who is the President of the United States?' and they answer: 'which United States?'
8. When you request them to please blow into the breathalizer, they say 'sure!' and stick it in their ear.
9. You can smell the alcohol on their breath from the next time-zone.
10. When you instruct them to 'please get into the police cruiser' they ask 'can my pink elephant ride shot-gun ?'
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Don't Drink Too Much or this Could be YOU
© 2011 Woody Marx