ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I’m All For Coloring Outside The Lines But Not When It Comes To Parking People

Updated on June 20, 2010

I sort of feel as though this blog was needed a few decades ago and that it shouldn’t be needed at this point. Sort of like people allowing their kids to litter. I feel as though we’ve all learned that lesson all ready but apparently not. Recently I watched as a parent watched their ten year old just throw their McDonald’s bag out of the car where it landed in the parking lot. The parents didn’t seem to be saying anything to their kids and it wasn’t long after I saw the bag belonging to the parents go out of their window and then they pulled out of the parking lot sipping on their enormous sized drinks which would no doubt find their home by the side of the road when they had finished gulping from their biggest of gulp cups. Well, apparently there’s still more to say on that issue and at the risk of sounding as if I’m trolling parking lots (which I can assure you that I am not) I am becoming increasingly troubled by the fact that people seem to be getting worse and worse about the simple things in life. You know, like getting their cars in between the lines of parking spaces. I’m all for coloring outside the lines but not when it comes to parking people – Don’t Get Me Started!

I’ve all ready written about the fact that I don’t understand why everyone feels the need to “back into” their parking spaces. It seems to have become more and more popular over the last few years and it gets on my nerves. Unless you have a front wheel drive vehicle and you’re afraid that there’s going to be a major snowstorm later, I see no need for you to back into parking spaces. The other reason you shouldn’t be backing into parking spaces is that you’re not very good at it. There, I’ve said it. You hold up traffic as you go past the space you’re going to take only to do this wide sweeping curve into the space taking out anything within a five mile radius. Not only that, you always seem to think you’ve done an excellent job and have a sort of cocky delighted look on your face. Once you dismount from your vehicle that is high enough off the ground to need a step ladder to get out of it, you’ve taken everywhere from two to four spaces and you think you did a great job. It doesn’t matter if you’re driving a Hummer or a Hyundai, watching drivers back into parking spaces is like watching skate boarders, they rarely get the trick they’re trying to do. And neither do I.

While I guess we should make concessions for those that are backing in afraid of a snowstorm in mid June in Vegas, no one can explain to me the phenomenon of the people who are actually looking at what they’re doing, heading straight in to a parking space and yet they manage to take their compact car and take up two spaces. I get that perhaps you don’t want a scratch in your paint but if this is the case then park away from the building and get a little exercise by having a little further to walk to get into the Walmart but honestly, that Kia with the one door in primer gray hardly needs two spaces to maintain its exterior beauty. And guess what? If you have a Mercedes I feel the same way. If you really want to protect your car from the evils of the parking lot, being an inconsiderate ass by taking up two spaces isn’t going to make me think you’re a rich important person it’s just going to make me think that you’re an asshole still living with your parents at 45 who took on a $1,200 a month car payment because you don’t have to pay rent or for food because Mommy and Daddy are still taking care of you. If you are in fact wealthy and living in your own digs the whole two parking spaces just makes you an asshole.

I have spent my life looking outside the proverbial box for answers to life’s day to day and big dilemmas but when it comes to certain things I think there’s a reason that there are lines to stay in and parking happens to be one of them. I’m all for coloring outside the lines but not when it comes to parking people – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 7 years ago from Texas

      What a hilarious hub as I know exactly what you mean about the parking and the two spaces. My sister is one of those that likes to back into a space and it drives me crazy. As for the littering. I was walking along the parking lot of a grocery store the other day and almost stepped on a dirty diaper that had been thrown on the ground (gross) Im sure you have seen this before as well. This is really a pet peeve of mine. Great vent I feel the same. Cheers.

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Good Morning Good Scott!!

      So with only half a cup of coffee and half my brain in gear I read this hilarious Hub with a bit different take!!

      I thought, ' . . . not when it comes to parking people . . .' was going to be about the disgusting way we place our elders in senior homes when they become too inconvenient for our busy lives!!??

      I thought, ' . . . like people allowing their kids to litter . . . ' was a reference to breeding more of the same inconsiderate kind!!??

      You are right, dear Scott!! On parking and littering - in the sense you meant it!!

      As for me, I'm going back for another cup of java!!

      Blessings always, Earth Angel!!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      Big ditto on the litter. I'm sorry, I pull in straight and still manage to end up crooked in my parking spot. I'm still within the lines--sorta. I wouldn't dare try to back in, I'd be arrested. I'm just not a good driver.

      I love your stuff, it's so funny, but right on the money, too. Keep hubbing,friend!