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I'm Not Gonna Lie, I Want A Scooter

Updated on February 2, 2012

If it wasn't for the fact that I've had a fascination with the idea of owning and riding a scooter everywhere for such a long time, I'd try to pass it off on the movie, Larry Crowne, as to why I'm so infatuated with the notion. The problem is, I've wanted one long before Tom Hanks hung up his big box polo shirt and went back to college on one. And nobody else seems to see me on one....I don't quite get it.

Now, I should say, I'm not the most petite guy in the world...this may have something to do with the snickering I hear when I mention scooter anymore. In fact, some members of the family, roll their eyes and leave the room when I mention it. I could be asking for my own ridicule to put a not-so-tiny fella up on a frail little mode of transportation as the scooter.

I also don't live in a cool city, near the beach, or anywhere close to a college campus. In fact, I'm on the edge or rural farm land, and have to drive in a good bit to be 'in town' and even then, the first town I hit is not really any kind of socially thriving town. I'm more likely to be mowed down by a huge GMC on the backroads, sporting an NRA logo in the rear window, than to see may other big guys like myself rolling down the street on their scooters. (Don't flip out...I own my own firearms.)

I also live in the Pacific Northwest. That means on any given day, the chance of rain is plentiful, and if it's not raining, it can be downright chilly, or cloudy, or less than desirable conditions for rolling down the road on two wheels. In addition to just being cold, I'm usually in need of hauling some sort of technology gear with me, which at the very least makes the idea of a scooter more tricky.

Now, I can almost get past the un-cool factor I'm told I'll have by being the big guy on a little scooter, and I can almost adapt to my less than cool, non college town vibe, and I can even bundle up and get around the weather, and haul some sort of mini trailer if I really need to, but the one thing that always gets me, is the question of safety. It seems that in the great battle of vehicle vs motorcycle, the car always fares better than the bike. I'm not even sure if I can get up to the speeds I need to for most of the roads I'd need to travel, but then I wonder if I want to be going that fast on one of those little suckers? And yet, I ride my road bike (pedal powered) all over these roads all the time. It's a tricky quandary.

In the end, I find myself still yearning for the little lawn mower on two wheels, and cruise through Craigslist ads on a regular basis. I might even make a comment, a hint about one just to see how the waters are, and they continue to come back as expected -- don't even talk about a scooter to me. But as it typically turns out, I imagine that even for a very short time, and maybe only even to just ride around the circular driveway, there will be scooter. Any suggestions or thoughts from scooter owners are certainly welcome.

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    • profile image

      trytobethebest 5 years ago

      Haha I have a Yamaha scooter. They rock!

    • strkngfang profile image

      strkngfang 5 years ago

      Nice write up. My wife and I have been riding a few years and love it. I ride a Honda Reflex 250 and she is on a Honda SH150i. We are mostly respected as riders.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 4 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Your best option is to see the Audrey Hepburn movie "Roman Holiday", move to Rome, figure out how to support yourself, and get a Vespa.

      Alternatively, get a Peel P50.

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