The Duggars from "19 Kids and Counting Rules" For Courtship, Engagement, and eventual Marriage
"19 Kids and Counting" Duggar's Rules to Courting, Engagement, and Marriage
The Duggars, who star on TLC's hit show "19 Kids and Counting", have very strict rules on how their children can date, or rather court an individual. The Duggars are fundamentalist Baptists who have very strong convictions on what a marriage should be. They believe marriage is between one man and one woman, with the woman being submissive to her husband. To be fair, they believe that the man should treat his wife like a queen; but there is still no doubt, the man is the head of the house hold.
Rule 1: For Courting: Does he have a strong relationship with the Lord? Is he looking for a wife that will help him develop spiritually, as well as his wife spiritually with The Lord?
Rule 2: Is his intentions to get married soon?
Rule 3: Is he able to provide for himself, and his wife, with many, many, children to follow? The Duggar's do not believe in child care, except for family members, and being a stay-at-home mom is highly encouraged. The husband-to-be needs to be able to financially take care of his family without the wife working.
The Duggars believe that dating teaches people how to divorce, since if a person doesn't like their partner, they can just break-up with them. Courting is dating with a purpose, that purpose being marriage. They don't date anyone that they believe God isn't leading them to marry. Before a couple court, the gentleman must go to the girl's father to gain permission to officially court her. in today' safe, lets say we date 10 people before we marry the last one. If those men had to go talk to her dad, don't you think it would prevemt you from dating some losers.
Rule 3: Dad has to like him.
The Duggars are very strict concerning how a couple interact, they don't want their children to get too physically or emotionally attached, since during the courting period, they are try to decide if this is the one God wants them to be with. The Duggars save their first kiss for their wedding day. They do not front hug, since it presses the woman's breasts against a man's chest, which could cause a man to have impure thoughts. They do allow handholding until the couple is engaged.
Even though it sounds like something from the dark ages, there is always one family member from the woman's family to ensure she keeps her virginity, and remains pure until her wedding day. This is why there are always chaperones from the woman's family.
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The Duggars include their parents with any Skype "dates", telephone calls, emails, letters, or anything else. When they text each other, it has to be done on a group text, with both parents being included. The NSA would be jealous how the Duggar's infiltrate their children's privacy (their children court when they are 18-years or older. They want to make sure the couple never speak about sex explicitly. They can talk about how many children they will have.
Just like asking permission to court, the gentleman will tell his parents he is going to ask permission to marry his girl. He will then ask the girl's father for formal permission to have his daughter's hand in marriage. Then, they have a 3-month engagement, just long enough to plan a wedding. They believe that getting engaged, is essentially a vow to get married, so there is no point having a long drawn-out engagement.
Catch "19 Kids and Counting" on TLC on Tuesday at 9 pm EST.