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The Model Line-up Of The New Merged GM & Chrysler: Part XIII - Jeep

Updated on October 13, 2008

2009 Jeep Commander $28,480

This Jeep version of the Hummer H2 has to suffer the same fate as its General Motors competitor. This is just way too big, bulky, heavy, and thirsty of a vehicle to be not only a proper off roader, but to have a place on the public highways of our age. It was misbegotten from the inception onwards, so into the history books the Commander goes!

KILL

2009 Jeep Compass $17,715

When the not at all lamented mustachioed German Dr. Z. was running Chrysler they came up with this lame butt design for an entry level Jeep and couldn't even decide which one of the two ways to produce it, whether in this "Mom Gets The Groceries" mode or the slightly more serious Cherokee-ish profile of the Patriot, so they made one of the greatest marketing blunders in recent automotive times and produced both of them. This one never had a reason to escape from the drawing board, so back to limbo it goes!

KILL

2009 Jeep Grand Cherokee $29,650

Everything that applies to the Commander goes for the Grand Cherokee as well. The vast majority of Grand Cherokee owners never take their rides off paved roads anyways, so what is the point of it all? It would be very difficult to find any other car in both the General Motors and Chrysler current lineups that offers so little interior space per pound of weight, thus to the chopping block it goes!

KILL

2009 Jeep Liberty $22,215

This Jeep has absolutely no reason on earth to have a 3.7 V6 lump in its engine bay. By placing the Liberty on a good diet, the 2.4 litre Patriot engine would be more than sufficient to push the Liberty around on its daily journeys. Like the rest of its new Jeep stablemates in the new merged General Motors / Chrysler Corporation, it will be offered only in four wheel drive configuration. Jeep is a four wheel drive brand. Don't dilute the value of the brand with wimpy FWD versions!

KEEP

2009 Jeep Patriot $16,790

It may surprise many to learn that I think that this is the best vehicle in the entire combined lineup of the merged General Motors / Chrysler Corporation, especially now that the interior has been completely upgraded from the Playskool thin cheap plastic that looked more at home on a Made In China tumbler in a dollar store. Although the Patriot is not really built to the bulletproof off road standard of more conventional Jeeps, it more than suffices for rural use on all sorts of rough and snow covered roads. However, you must at all costs avoid the automatic CV transmission which is nothing more than a bunch of rubber bands on pulleys. The CV in this vehicle is the single worst, stupidest, rottenest, and most objectionable tranny since either the 1990s Fiat Panda Automatic or RuPaul, take your pick. In 5 speed configuration, this is an exceptionally capable and practical, as well as very fun and safe vehicle, and yes, I reiterate: It's the best value for the dollar of any other model in the newly combined General Motors / Chrysler Corporation lineup.

KEEP

2009 Jeep Wrangler $19,860

You can't touch the Wrangler as it's the only real, traditional Jeep and will likely have a thriving market demand for as long as there are internal combustion engines. Although the current 3.8 litre V6 could be necessary for the four door versions, the traditional two door Jeep Wrangler only needs the Patriot's 2.4 litre four cylinder to achieve all of its necessary Jeeping!

KEEP

Jeep is an illustrious brand name and it is forever associated with the Willys Jeep of World War II fame which brought four wheeling to the world. Therefore, it is a complete waste of time to market two wheel drives under the Jeep brand. All Jeeps must be four wheel drives, and continue to be the cream of the crop of worldwide four wheel drive production to help bring General Motors / Chrysler Corporation back to prominence and financial health.

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