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Top 200 Current Motorcycles: Best Or Worst? - BMW F800

Updated on May 31, 2009

 BMW F 800 GS

The BMW F 800 GS makes its little brother, the F 650 GS look like it belongs in the Louvre. Why can't stylists realize that orange and black only belongs on carved Halloween jack o' lanterns? Everything that's wrong with the 650 version is even more wrong on this one. Well, at least it has spoked wheels rather than the 650's cast crap wheels. Ugh!

This bike is driven by a road-eating 798 cc, water cooled, twin motor designed with a bore and stroke of 82 mm x 75 mm and a compression ratio of 12:1 which bestows upon the model an extraordinary 85 horsepower (62.5 kW). When we work out the overall curb weight of the bike being 407 pounds (185 Kg.), and factor it into the velocity-seeking horses available the result is 4.79 pounds per horsepower, which is in the range of the power to weight ratio of a hillclimbing race car.

Verdict: This bike is so ugly that you could pull out all the Yo Momma's So Ugly jokes off Google and each and every one would apply. Disgusting, revolting, retch-provoking styling that offends the eyes. WORST!

 BMW F 800 S

I'll grant you that the BMW F 800 S is significantly more restrained from an offensive aesthetic level than most of its stablemates, but that does emphatically not mean that it is visually pleasing in any way. The yellow and black hornet color scheme does not at all fit the motorcycle and makes it look like it was a last minute thought. Very unattractive.

This motorcycle is powered by a brawny 798 cc, water cooled, 2 - cylinders in line engine set up with a bore and stroke of 82 mm x 75.6 mm and a compression ratio of 12:1 which endows the motorcycle a startling 85 horsepower (62.5 kW). When we consider the total curb weight of the motorcycle being 400 pounds (182 Kg.), and factor it into the speed-demon horsepower we get a sum of 4.71 pounds per horsepower, a figure that is not far off from the power to weight ratio of a midget racing car.

Verdict: Front heavy styling and a bumblebee butt color scheme really ruin what little is on this motorcycle that's even remotely attractive. WORST!

 BMW F 800 ST

I'm a little bit split on the BMW F 800 ST, as the lower fairing seems to cover up the engine which is one of the very few visually interesting parts of the motorcycle on the S model. However, we can only thank the deities of the Black Forest for BMW at least not painting it in wasp abdomen colors like the S bike. Still, the cast wheels are right off of a 1982 Honda CB400 Hawk, the fairing looks like it's been pulled too far forward, and I'd still rather have my molars pulled than own one.

The bike is driven by a superlative 798 cc, water cooled, 2 - cylinders in line powerplant with a bore and stroke measuring 82 mm x 75.6 mm and a compression ratio of 12:1 which gives the bike a stunning 85 horsepower (62.5 kW). When we calculate the total dry weight of the bike equalling 411 pounds (187 Kg.), and factor that into the potent power generated the result is 4.84 pounds per horsepower, a total that is fairly close to the power to weight ratio of a sprint racing car.

Verdict: Not the ugliest Beemer in the current lineup but certainly repugnant enough to make me sick. WORST!

Read all about each and every Top 200 Current Aprilia, Benelli, Bimota, BMW, Buell, Ducati, Harley Davidson, Honda, Kawasaki, KTM, Moto Guzzi, MV Agusta, Suzuki, Triumph, Victory, and Yamaha Motorcycle Model!

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