50 Weird, Funny, Freaky and Unusual Ways for Promoting your Boring Website
Traffic generation at times requires getting freaky and unconventional pays at times. do you know ?why see..
Traffic generation and site promotion has taken a new and dangerous trend (don't be alarmed just kidding!)
Hi there and welcome, you just started a blog on blogger or is it Word press, Drupal. Or TypePad?
Or could it be that you created a publishing account with Hubpages or Squidoo perhaps; and your blog or contents lack the basic ingredient that brings in the cash and the blings-Traffic.
As a matter of fact, your pages looks like a graveyard with little or no activity; you’ve gone on a buying spree downloading one traffic generation ebook after another.
Naturally the self styled gurus will recommend the following traffic generation and site promotion tips to you
- Write and submit articles to articles directories like EzineArticles.com
- Bookmark your articles on facebook, digg, stumbleupon, linkedIn etc (doesn’t work for me though, don’t know of you)
- Create back links for your contents using sites like propeller, infobarrel, redgage etc
- Import your feeds to your facebook profile wall
- Create tweets of your published contents on Twitter
- Hire an SEO expert to re-write your site’s contents and help get it indexed to Google and Yahoo’s SERP
- Use Google Adwords and other PPC platforms like bidvertiser, kontera bla. Bla, bla for more exposure
- Create free reports in ebook format (PDF Preferably) and upload it to ebook and P2P directories like scribd
- More and more shit that smell like all the above
Now this is what you get to hear every day from the gurus on matters that concerns traffic generation and site promotion tactics, but this is not what you are about to read here.
You are about to read something very different and in very clear terms unconventional from those generic or will I say conventional stuffs you get to see every day as being prescribed by the gurus
Since you’ve practiced every tip in the books, don’t you think it is time you went a little over the roof and get things done the other way round?
Follow me now, relax and enjoy the ride as I treat you to a hot recipe of 50 Weird, Funny, Freaky and Unusual Ways for Promoting that Boring Website of yours.
do you think this is new...? see 50 weird stuffs and know...
Some conventional tools for more blog/site traffic
- AdSense Revenue Sharing Gets Even Better With Referrals and 100 percent Ad Revenue at Shetoldme
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- Create Simple Bookmarks and Back-links for your Writing with Ease with IMAutomator
Using effective tools to get your content to the very top of Google's SERP is the dream of every online biz owner, this tool can give you that either free or premium
- Get more Organic Traffic to your Writings with this leading social bookmarking service
Back links are very important in Google's algorithm, see how to use this powerful tool to get more exposure for your contents
this is what the self styled traffic gurus will never tell, but make sure you don't practice this at home!
1. Tell every one you meet on the street; make sure you walk the whole street and annexing streets to spread your message.
2. Run into a football pitch and distract an ongoing football match with the sermon on your website, walk straight to the quarter back, the striker (soccer), referee and other star players and tell them of it, you never know they could get it endorsed.
3. If you have a boss with a bad or better still nice temperament; start his day by mailing the address of this boring site as a memo and tell him one or two nice things about your site, he could either fire or check out the site after getting off from work.
4. if you belong to a church choir, you can go offbeat and sing it in your choir chants, make sure you are not close to the conductor or risk getting hit with his conducting baton, sorry if you just got hit at least you got word out and the church, the congregation and even the choir might go check it out to see why the heck you should be singing about a website instead of singing glory to God!
5. I know little known authors and people who got a little buzz from Oprah and became instant hits and celebrities; so take it a little farther this time, send an email to Oprah and tell her about this boring site. Yes make sure you tell her how boring the site is, she could mention it as one of her favorite websites in her tweets to her followers, and if you are this lucky just imagine the kind of traffic jam on your site…
6. If you live in high places and climes, then take a bold step and climb the pinnacle of your building and scream!!!! It www-I-love-this-site-though-it-is-boring.come!
7. If you sleep a little late, then be a guest of the ever impervious David Letterman by sending him a hilarious email as regards your site, I know David he is one sure go-to guy when you need a little word out; Good Night America!!!
8. Do you deal with the pressure of shaking too many hands every day? Then make this hand shaking exercise more profitable by scribbling your boring page’s address in tiny and little bits of paper and drop in the hands of every one you shake- another shaking style did I hear some one say.
9. every city has it’s yellow pages, make this useful to you by grabbing the your city’s yellow pages and ring every one on the list and tell them about a new boring site out there for them to go check out; make sure you have a pocket filled with coins or lest you get your call on hold or barred from lack of cash!
10. I got shocked to realize that more kids use the internet these days; and remember kids love midnight tales, ten take this initiative and tell the kids a midnight tale of a website that can make them wish and get their wishes granted- a genie-like website I think; and guess what? Kids love genies and will love to see one by hitting the address bar of their browser with the address www.see-a-genie-at-this-boring-website.com.
11. If you live close to your country’s seat of power for example The White House or Number 10 Downing Street; write it out on a placard and visit the President or Prime Minister; you can never know he might just grant you audience where you can tell him of your boring website that needs his attention.
12. Have you thought of starting a one-man-match? Maybe this is a good opportunity and nice reason to start one; while out matching tell all that care to listen your agitation-which is more visitor and activity on your grave yar… oh! Sorry Website. What a perfect web site promotion technique!
13. Just a couple of days ago, I was in a grocery store close to my neighborhood to purchase some food items: when some intruder barged into the place and was demanding to see the Manager of the place; his voice was very loud and resounded from wall to wall. I noticed he was griming and full of conspiratorial smile when the manager who heard the altercation and wanted to know what the problem was, showed up. Do you know this guy’s grouse? He wanted the store to see a product he was selling, and that he has been to the store a couple of times with the said product and was refused audience. The only way he could be granted audience with the manager was rushing in and starting off something; and do you know what? His tactic worked and the store’s manager saw his product and even said it was cool. So why not take the same initiative (that is if you want to catch a case) and walk into a busy grocery store and scream www-get-to-my-boring-site-come
14. Cars are fast becoming marketing platforms these days. A lot of people have used cars and public transit facilities like bus stations to promote their products and services. Why not do the same-make a sticker of it and paste it on your car and every moving vehicle within your reach, it works? yes it works!
15. Are you a tattoo freak? Then your tattoos can be put to more use by writing an inscription of your website on your body, make sure this tattoo is on a part of your body that’s gonna be visible and easily seen by people. Trust me a whole lot of people and pervs will love to go check out a site inscribed on a person’s body.
16. There’s one go-to place where you can create custom T-shirts and souvenirs, that is at Zazzle. Yes, create a custom T-shirt with it boldly written on it; then put it on when you go to the games or the super bowl, believe me people’ll even want to check it out with their blackberries or any mobile devise within their grasp. Just make sure it says something like this-visit and get bored or I heard even the pope liked this- then the address: www-why-cant-I-get-more-visitors-to.come!
Get more help with these resources as you learn how you can get the name of your bori9ng site inscribrd in yout custom made T-shirts
other weird ways can come in the following form...
17. Write it on the walls of every gent or ladies-if you are not lucky you’ll get caught by the cops, and if you do; you’ll be held responsible and charged for public misconduct like my man and music icon George Michaels who was caught for performing solo acts with himself while in the loo!
18. Most times when I’m drunk and tipsy, I get to worry the peace of some of my peeps, so go out of the frenzy and drink, get drunk then disturb people about your site; people get easily amused when they see a man staggering from taking too much bottles than he can carry, and they will also be entertained when he starts mumbling and jumbling and lets out a yell like this- why not be at my place at green bottle with the following address www-be-at-my-drunk-place.come.
19. I love doing weird things and weird acts; like writing in the air. So take a weird step further in your newly acquired site promotion tactic by walking in the open and spelling it out in the air as you walk by, I have a strong believe that a lot of people who sees this weird thing been spelled out in the air will want to check out what it’s about.
20. People are too open these days, that they reveal so much of themselves even in their CV’s and Résumé’s, take this step-include it in your CV or Resume, the employer might love a website that says www-please-give-me-the-job-or-risk-feeling-my-wrath-at-my-boring-site.come!
21. I wonder if you can write poems like my hub friend Suburban poet. If you can then write a song, poem or a lyric and make your site the boring theme of the poem or song something like-♫ www-let-me-sing-my-song-to-forget-that-I-have-a-boring-site.come!
22. The notice board of a school is one hell of a spot where information are easily disseminated; so go to the nearest school within 6 mile radius from where you live and surreptitiously paste this on the notice board-www-I-want-you-students-to-get-more-bored-not-with-your-books-but-with-this-site.com
23. Why not be on the hot-seat of the who-Wants-To-Be-Millionaire Game show, then say it on national television-www-I-wish-to-use-my-winnings-to-get-more-visitors-to-this-boring-site-of-mine.come!
24. Be a little annoying to the cyberspace audience by sending out more spam Letters to unknown people, you don’t know who will check out your site.
25. Risk it- break the law, catch a case and include it while you are writing your statement, let it look like this- www-I-will-continue-to-make-more-trouble-and-catch-more-cases-untill-you-go-to-my-boring-site-that-never-sleeps.come!
26. I’m really surprised that people still read mails from the post office, so take this initiative and spam the post office box of your neighbors, write it out in a small envelope with the mail addresses like this-www-I-hope-you-read-this-and-see-more-before-I-break-your-mailbox.com!, this sounds freaky when he sees the envelope with such inscription on it, and might be temped to check out your shit before he calls the cops.
27. Are you writing an exam? Do you intend to or maybe you have someone close to you who is writing; then get a little freaky and write it on the answer script and pass it along to the examiner; remember if you are caught and charged for examinations malpractices, you risk facing a jail term of up to 27 years depending on the resident country and extent of your charge! Something like this- www-make-sure-you-see-this-boring-shit-before-you-fail-me.come!
28. If you write on hubpages, have you thought of following all the hubbers on the hubpages stables? If you decide to, what it means here is that you’ll be looking at say 8000 or more hubbers to follow. But I pity your mail box (that is you do not turn the email alert on new hubs feature off) as you’ll be getting 7000 or more hubpages email alert every day, if you are using a custom email client, then you risk exhausting your domain and email hosting space. But other than that, following every hubber means that you’ll get more followers to follow you, because the good thing with hubbers is that they love reciprocating gestures; “So follow me and I’ll follow you too” that seems to be the slogan here.
29. Have you thought of talking to FaceBook owner and CEO Whack em... Sorry Mark Zuckerberg? I think of this every day and the more I think of speaking with the kid the more appealing it is too me. So look for a way and contact him and tell him of the next cyber big thing that can challenge his net-book oh! FaceBook is a site that goes by this acronym- www-the-next-boring-thing-after-facebook.come!
30. I love charity; this is one of the reason why I love Seth Godin’s squidoo.com where you write (suffer) and give out your earnings to charity. Well that is a discussion for another day; what I’m saying here is visit a charity home, distribute items with the inscription of your website boldly engraved in it to the inmates. These days you can never know where you traffic break could come from, think about that…
31. Are you writing a PhD theses, undergrad-project or stuff? Make sure you include this- www-I-cant-graduate-until-you-see-this.come!
32. Don’t want to tell you how to go about this- but visit the pen and tell the inmates to change and embrace that change at- www-change-and-get-out-of-the-pen-after-seeing-this-boring-shit.come! or spend the rest of their boring lives picking scraps and fights in the penitentiary.
33. Do you love wildlife? Then take your love to another freaky level by capturing an eagle (remember this is illegal and you could be caught and charged for poaching), tag the eagle with a little tagging cloth with the inscription-www-even-eagles-love-this-site-and-love-to.come!
34. I love Indians, not American Indians. They love cremating their dead ones and spreading the ashes via a small boat or is it a canoe. Why not do the same for your boring site, by including this set in your collection of traffic generation and site promotion kit (not Google Money (scam) tree kit); by gathering a little ash and in the ash pot, include a little piece of paper that look like this-www-I-am-not-dead-yet-so-don’t-cremate-me-but-help-and-see-this-graveyard-of-a-site.come!
35. Do you love racing, long distant running? Why not get you acts together and run a race now and make sure you write boldly on your vest, the address of your site, which is- www-I-need-to-run-this-race-to-get-more-boring-visitors-to-this-sleepy-site.come!
36. Christmas is fast approaching and this is a time when you give gifts and other give-aways to friends and family. You can create a gift card, (Zazzle can help you in this regard to create custom made gift card) write it out conspicuously on the gift card, then distribute it friends and family.
37. Do you live close to a court building? Then walk into a court room and distract proceedings, screaming-www-jury-and-judge-you-cannot-continue-until-you-see-my-site-come!, if you are lucky enough the security could let you go, but if not you stand to face charges for contempt of court.
38. Oh! I love Lady GAGA . I’ve thinking of jumping on stage where she’s performing and sing out loud one of her favorite tunes and include in its lyrics ♫www-please-lady-gaga-see-my-site.come!
39. Not every body can do this because not every one stays in New York or even the United States, and of course you are not a daughter or son to the UN SEC-GEN; yet you can still visit the UN headquarters and write it out on the walls of the UN (after all the UN is a proponent of self determination). But don’t say I told you, because if you are caught, you can be charged on terrorism charges and sent to Guantanamo Bay to see my dear ailing friend Castro.
40. I heard this is Ellen’s give away month, so why not tell Ellen that the only give away that’ll suit you this season is that she should promote your bug emm sorry site, like she does with American Airlines when she says this at the end of her show”American Air knows Why you fly bla, bla, bla” she can help say this “Google knows why you surf, yet they say this site is boring please go check it out and see.
41. The next G7 meeting could be yet another dangerous but wonderful platform for putting word out for that grave yard of a site, be there and join other protesters to protest on global warning, AIDS and of course other problems ravaging the planet called Earth which lack of traffic to your site could be one of them!
42. Have you been caught up in traffic? I heard some people got stuck in traffic for two week in China’s congested city Beijing, so entertain others as you jump onto the roof of your rickety jeep screaming- www-come-and-see-my-graveyard-of-a-site-or-stay.locked-up-inthis-one-hell-of-a-traffic.cum!
43. Many fake-ass people are parading themselves as fake celebrities to gain undue attention, why not join the ranks of fake celebrities and sign autographs of your bug sorry your site on arms, shirts, shoes and other personal effects of your victims? You don’t know you could become a big celebrity like the ostentatious and loud mouthed Kardashians.
44. I wont do this if I were you- start a fight in public and tell people to visit your site or get risk being beaten by you (that is if you as strong as Iron Mike or the iconic Ali) or get a dose of your pill and let the reverse be the case with you ending up with a swollen and puffy eye. But at least you have gotten the attention after www-I-fought-for-my-sites-attention-and-got-hit.cum!
45. Uploading videos and stuff on YouTube is now the trendiest thing to do these days, why not upload a stupid video with a stupid link and stupid theme bearing your site’s boring address-www-I-happen-to-be-the-most-boring-site-so-don’t.come!
46. If you are a board room icon or clerk. Include it in the memo when your company is having their AGM MEETING- I won’t be sorry if you get your sorry ass fired when your boss sees something that look like this in the memo-www-this-meeting-must-not-continue-if-the-board-does-not-see-this-stupid-site.come!
47. Just include it in the list of your 50 favorite sites making it number one above Google and Facebook, then publish it on the local daily of your community, be careful or get lynched.
48. Hang this on your neck while you take a stroll-www-see-this-as-the-reason-for-my-strolling.come!
49. Do you have a dog like me? Then hang it on your dog’s neck while it walks besides you, a sign that says-www-even-this-dog-love-boring-things-like-this-site.come!
50. Please I beg you, don’t do what I won’t do, and if you decide to go on with any of this crazy and weird traffic and site promotion tips you do so at your own peril; make sure you play safe, because speed kills.