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Uber Acquires Air Canada: Launches AirUber

Updated on April 1, 2016

Uber Takes Off in a New Direction

Silicon Valley unicorns are known for their bold moves, but Uber's announcement today takes this trend to a whole new altitude. Uber Inc. released today they have come to an agreement to acquire 100% of Canadian air carrier Air Canada.

In an Uber statement company spokesperson Jock Lafolle says: "Today we are launching AirUber. In doing so, we are continuing to lead the way when it comes to transportation solutions. Our decision today to expand in to air travel is part of our strategic plan to dominate this air space. Soon Uber riders can summon one of our circling jets for instant pick up and drop off at the city of their choice. No more airport line ups or security. Just point to point air transport for a fraction of the price." Lafolle did not explain how the logistics of the AirUber service would actually work other than to say, "I'm sure our drivers, er I mean, pilots will figure this out. Hey, we're just the platform."

Reached for an interview in Menlo Park, Mr. Lafolle was asked how the economics of this new service will pay off. Mr. Lafolle stated, "Profit is over rated. Our mandate is to rule the word of transportation. Provide the service and the profits will follow -- eventually. We hope."

In related news AirBnb is rumored to be in due diligence with the Ukraine government over the acquisition of its a submarine fleet. Soon travellers can stay in such remote locations as the Marianas Trench or create instant beach houses in the Caribbean. Happy April Fools, Better! - RD


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