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Techniques in Handling People

Updated on July 27, 2012

Why learn how to handle people?

There are individuals who wonder why even bother attemptin to be nice to others. These individuals normally do not get their way, have difficulty being patient to wait their turn in a line, and get upset at other people for small trivial matters. By being patient and dealing with other individuals, you can find better service and happiness with other people. In handling people, you will be able to be treated better because you treated others better.

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

This might be a difficult task for most people. As humans, we judge, condemn, and complain. We find little things wrong with other people and put it on ourselves to correct those flawed pieces of them. However, it is not our place to change those. The other individual might have flaws, everyone does. Even so, it is best not to point these out or criticize other's for them. This instantly makes people upset with you. They become frustrated, have anxiety, raised blood pressure, and do not consider you a friend. This will not help you at all in the future. By using one sentence, you have created an enemy.

One of Benjamin Franklin's key to his success in handling people is that he never "spoke ill" of someone. He only mentioned the good things about them and seemed to ignore the bad. This is what made him such a great American Ambassador. Anyone can criticize, condemn, and complain. Only an individual with charater and self-control can be understanding and forgiving.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

In getting someone to do something, the best way is to motivate them into following your suggestion. You can always make someone do it by threatening them. You have to really think about something. What do people want? Most of the things people want are:

  • Health and long life
  • Food
  • Sleep
  • Money
  • Life after death
  • Sexual gratification
  • Well-being of their children
  • Importance or great self-esteem

One of the strongest of these is the desire to be great. People want to feel important, needed, necessary. This desire leads individuals to become educated, strive for better situations, being known, wear different clothes to be noticed. To fill this gap in an individual's being, you need to praise those around you. By giving out appreciation and encouragement, you will have a group of individuals valuing your actions and position. In the words of Charles Schwab, "I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise".

However, there is an issue in just giving away compliments. Most individuals can tell the difference between flattery and appreciation. The difference is that flattery is insincere where appreciation is sincere. One comes from the teeth, the other from the heart. Nothing makes other feel needed and accomplished than interest and approval.

3. Create an eager want in the other individual.

Most people talk about what we want. Of course, we are interested in what we want. But most other people are not interested in these things. This makes us feel lonely and unwanted in society. Even so, this makes it incredibly easy to influence other people. You must talk about what the other person wants and show them how to achieve what they desire. Whenever you wish to persuade someone to do something, you need to answer one question. How can you make this person want to do it? This will help you slow down and not rush into the situation.


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