- Business and Employment
Joe The Internet Millionaire Fueds With Another Internet Millionaire
It's me again.
If you haven't heard of me yet, you might want to read this. Pretty much everyone in the Internet knows about me by now, but a little refresher can't hurt.
I'm Joe The Internet Millionaire.
I am incredibly wealthy and I work only hours a week. I place tiny ads online, I build downlink affiliate networks, I market expensive products that I never have to keep in stock. I write eBooks, online books, books on tape, and I am currently test marketing books on paper.
Life is good for me.
Lately I have one annoying problem
Everything's great except for one thing. As an Internet Millionaire, I have everything I ever need or want. I spend my days lounging by the pool drinking a special flavor of Gatorade that is made specially for me. It is served in a special glass that was also made specially for me. The glass can only be washed in a special dishwasher... you get the idea.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH MY LIFE?
I want to tell you a little about the trials and tribulations of being the Richest Internet Millionaire. Most people see me drive down the street in my Ferrari and they think "There goes Joe, The Internet Millionaire. I wish I could be as rich and happy as he must certainly be. My life is worthless compared to his."
THOSE PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA
To be completely honest with you, life has been difficult lately. For example, I recently became aware that I had a neighbor. My Internet Millionaire estate is so large and well-landscaped that normally I have no clue what's going on outside the perimeter. Unfortunately one of my pure-bred and extremely expensive dogs dug up a bush. Beyond that bush was another estate, which as it turns out is owned by another Internet Millionaire.
I WAS HORRIFIED
This Internet Millionaire has a pool which is obviously larger than mine.
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
I don't know how this could happen. Obviously I am the Richest Internet Millionaire on The Internet. I have a garage full of Rolls Royce convertibles. I sleep in a special bed made specially for me. I wear a Rolex made specially for me. The Rolex takes a special battery... you get the idea.
WHO IS THIS GUY?
This guy calls himself The Rich Pogonophobiac.
I had to look it up, too. Actually I had someone else look it up because I am an Internet Millionaire. Pogonophobia is a fear of beards.
His Internet Persona is "someone who is afraid of beards." I had one of my people check out his web site: it's clean-shaven and chock full of amazing online moneymaking techniques.
I AM STUMPED
Obviously this guy has a much better shtick than I. How can I possibly compete with another Internet Millionaire who positions himself in such a narrow niche, yet still manages to build a bigger pool?
I NEED YOUR HELP
I need you all to purchase as many of my Internet Wealth Building plans as you possibly can. Order my books, tapes, blogs, web sites, training manuals, podcasts, T-shirts, posters, pomegranate affiliate marketing plans, and pretty much whatever else I link to on my home page.
PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME
I won't forget you. Together we can defeat the Rich Pogonophobiac. Together we can build me a bigger pool.
Put down that remote and start putting my stuff on your credit card.
I HAVE A SPECIAL OFFER FOR YOU
Today only, I have an extra-special offer for my closest Internet Friends. Today only, if you order all of my Internet Wealth Building programs, I will throw in a specially made super secret program including a specially made web site that contains a specially made affiliate program... you get the idea.
I'll also throw in the private cell phone number of the Rich Pogonophobiac. I convinced him to give it to me just in case his pool filter clogs up when he's not home.